In-N-Out Burger's drive-thru in Hollywood. The refusal to require COVID-19 vaccinations on customers at one of the chain's San Francisco locations was a national story. (Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times)
Last week, when a San Francisco Inn-Out refused to enforce COVID-19 vaccine checks on its customers, I did something that I rarely do.
I went to In-N-Out.
Although I like the company, I do not hate it. However, I have spent the past three years tweeting hundreds. In-N'Out is overrated, and In-N_Out fanboys can be a nuisance to both friends and foes.
It's great fun to tell people the truth. The Irvine-based chain burgers are good, but not exceptional. Their French fries taste like the packaging crinkle paper they use, even though they pay good wages to their employees. The In-N-Outs brand T-shirts featuring classic muscle cars and a palm-tree motif are cheap nostalgia for those who have lost their salad days.
My stance has been lonely for a long time, as shown by the company's expansion in the West and the legions of loyal fans who harass me for my heresy.
In-N-Outs outspoken anti-vaccine mandate movement Chief Legal and Business Officer Arnie Weinsinger stated in a statement that the company "refused[d]] to be [the vaccination police] for a policy which they consider intrusive, improper and offensive." This has drawn more people to my side then ever before. My social media pages are full of former customers vowing to never again consume Flying Dutchmans, washed down by pink lemonade.
As I drove off the 5 Freeway, I was struck by the chaos and decided to stop at In-N-Out at Tustin Market Place. I wanted to find out if the company was as pandejo-like as some critics claim them to be and if In-N-Out would have to pay a fee for their entry into America's pandemic warfares.
Kinda and no.
There was a long line that snaked through a parking lot. Diners crowded the outdoor and indoor tables of the restaurant even though it was only 9:30 in the evening. Masked employees took my order for double-double animal-style cheeseburgers with mustard, pickles, and chopped peppers. An unmasked worker gave me my receipt. Unmasked workers worked in the kitchen, while masked ones were behind plexiglass and took walk-in orders.
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I was struck by the fact that more than 120 people were infected by a COVID-19 epidemic at two In-N'Out restaurants in Colorado. Public officials don't want to accept the possibility that the company might be right. Perhaps forcing restaurants to verify the vaccination status of their customers is too much hassle. (full disclosure: My wife owns a restaurant where masks must be worn because even people who have been vaccinated can still spread the disease.
After another masked employee gave me my order, I drove off to see who the real fool was when it came to In-N'Out.
We all.
We spent so much time discussing the political position of one company, because it is not just any company. Californians, from Chula Vista to Redding, can agree on one thing: a love for Huell Howser and a hate for the smug New Yorkers.
This giant-company has fostered a small-town, feel-good ethos that has helped it become an avatar of California's idealized California lifestyle. It is more affordable than Tesla and less bro-y as Tesla, but not as ubiquitous as Disney.
The small Baldwin Park burger stand that Esther and Harry Snyder opened became an empire over the next 70 years thanks to their descendants, who played us like chumps for most of it. They capitalized on one of the most dangerous aspects of the California psyche: mass illusion.
Joan Didion said that we tell lies to ourselves in order for us to live in California. In-N-Out is a good example of this.
This company has not changed its core: it's a nostalgic factory that promises a return to simpler times and more conservative times. In-N-Out's corporate philosophy might be hampered by hidden biblical verses on cups or wrappers that refer to salvation through Jesus Christ. As if Caesar was to be redeemed of all the Caesars' things, or as if a camel could pass through the eye of the needle to get into the kingdom of God (those verses were Matthew 22:21 and Matthew 19.24, respectively).
In-N-Out has donated hundreds of thousands to the California Republican Party, and tens to thousands to business lobbying groups.
Campaign finance records indicate that employees donated to Democrat candidates. However, In-N Out Chief Operating Officer Mark Taylor (half-sister to CEO Lynsi Snyder) and Traci, In-N Out Chief Operating Officer, donated more than $15,000 towards the national Republican Party, Donald Trump, and through the 2020 election cycle.
In recent years, the company has increased its rightward creep as Lynsi Snyder has been more open about her evangelical beliefs. Its politics are etched into its logo, the yellow arrow that zips above the company's name. It swings down hard to the right, rising leftward.
Although they have never been able to hide who they are, In-n-Out sold them a fantasy of political niceness that many Californians enjoyed like a strawberry milkshake. Kamala Harris, Vice President of the United States, was one of those fooled. After a meeting with the California governor, she got In-N'Out for staffers, reporters, and other personnel. She flew with them to Washington, D.C., in September. Gavin Newsom was at an anti-recall rally, despite the fact that In-N-Out had donated $40,000 to California Republican Party in July.
A Californian deluded enough to believe In-N-Out is anything other than it is. It's the same as it takes to build houses in fire country, then rebuild them after infernos destroy them. You shouldn't take a shower for more than five minutes. Or you can live without an earthquake kit or believe that online shopping is ethical.
Why were so many enamored with the In-N-Outs scam? There is more to it than the offering, which are again better than the best but not as good as the revelations made by acolytes. Californians are desperate for a common hero. Someone who transcends our geographical and ideological divides to bring us together.
They are just as flawed as us all, and that's a good thing. Californians might be convinced to let go of our collective delusions if In-N-Out continues issuing strident press releases about government excesses, which seem to have been derived from a Tucker Carlson tirade.
What about my double-double? It was delicious, but it wasn't worth the wait. Habit is superior.
I looked at Nahum 1:7 and found the Biblical verse on the wrapper. It reads: "The Lord is good; a stronghold during the day of trouble; and He knoweth those who trust in him."
California promises comfort as a reward to unquestioning faith.
This story first appeared in Los Angeles Times.
