I decided to use this platform to talk about something important, like the ancient Greek philosophers who introduced bold new ideas in Athenian forums.
Some people think that the experience of eating Mexican food is similar to that of eating fast food at taco bell. Sort of. To those of us who have reached an elevated level of consciousness, taco bell is still a fast food restaurant but a really great one that is fun to talk about and one of the all-time great Seamless delivery guilty pleasures. A Saturday night full of weed and video games pairs better with a visit to the fast food joint. I have taken it upon myself to rank my favorite menu items. This is needed by the marketplace of ideas.
This list only includes the mainstays of taco Bell. Menu items that are limited time, seasonal, or discontinued are disqualified. You won't see them here. Let's roll.
A little basic, but it gets the job done. Credit: Taco Bell
One of the paradoxes in our society is that the taco at taco bell isn't really the reason to eat there. I only get taco to supplement one of the more substantial menu items that we will talk about a little later. A taco can be an elite side dish with the right combination of meats, cheese, and sauces.
The soft taco is a flour tortilla with whatever you want to put in it. Me? When I eat a taco, I like to feel a crunch. Soft tortillas, which are still good enough to make this list, come in at number 10.
Put a little crunch in your lunch. Credit: Patrick T. Fallon / Bloomberg via Getty Images
Everything I said about Soft Tacos also applies to taco bell's taco shells. The shell is the only differentiating factor, because you can put whatever you want inside. If you want to get the most out of your first bite of a corn taco shell, make sure you have some seasoned beef and a good sauce.
While I have the floor, I don't like the food that much. They don't come with as much cheese as you want, so they taste more like taco shells. It was a hard pass.
A dollar's worth of perfection. Credit: Taco Bell
The simplicity of the Cheesy Roll Up is what makes it great. It's just melted cheese inside a tortilla. The taco bell show will never have the stars of the Cheesy Roll Ups. If you need to add a couple bucks to an order to hit a delivery minimum or you just want some extra calories without spending too much money, the Cheesy Roll Up always has your back.
Unexpected sweetness on the Taco Bell menu. Credit: Taco Bell
The Cinnamon Twist is part of my presentation today. The Cinnamon Twists add a refreshing sweetness to any greasy, meat-filled order for just a single buck.
You can save these bad boys for later, because they are just wheat and corn caked in cinnamon and sugar. There were times when I ate a meal at a restaurant and then ate a snack at home for three hours. It is a great trait to have longevity.
What more do you want from a burrito? Credit: Taco Bell
The burritos at the restaurant are good because you know exactly what you are getting when you order one. The Beefy 5-Layer Burrito is flawless, even though I usually do a bit of customization with most of the menu items.
There is beef. There is cheese. There is sour cream. There is a sauce made of cheese. There are beans. Five perfect layers make for a perfectly acceptable burrito that is a great add-on for when you need one more item to really feel complete.
Shell out for that shell. Credit: Taco Bell
Everything on this list has been a sidekick. It is time to elevate our list by finally talking about the menu's stars, since taco, cheese roll ups and cinnamon twists make for great supporting players.
The soft taco with a weirder tortilla is called the Chalupa. That doesn't tell the whole story.
This is fried flatbread, we're talking about it here. You can put whatever you want inside the shell, but the shell is why you are here. It is not as hard as a hard taco and not as soft as one. The Chalupa is at number five on my list because it charts its own path.
The perfect marriage. Credit: Taco Bell
It's a quesadilla that's wrapped up and filled with ingredients. There is more to say.
The Quesarito was my go-to for a long time. Between the cheese that's packed into the quesadilla shell and the amount of cheese you want to include in the burrito part of the equation, it's a cheese lover's delight. The Quesarito is an excellent vegetarian item because Kellen Beck tipped me off to substituting beef for black beans and potatoes. It can be a little too much flavor at times, but you really should try the black bean with potatoes at least once. Nobody has ever given me a negative review after I followed my advice.
A soft shell AND a hard shell?! Credit: Joshua Blanchard/Getty Images for Taco Bell
The CGC is a mainstay of taco Bell and is mostly known for being on the outside rather than the inside. The outer shell of a CGC is beautiful to behold.
Take a hard taco shell, wrap a layer of flatbread around it, and then add a layer of melted cheese between the shell and the flatbread. The result is something that combines both soft and hard tortillas, so everyone is happy. You can go wrong with a good CGC.
All that cheesy greatness. Credit: Taco Bell
I'm not a fool. I understand that I am not qualified to judge the entire menu. Sometimes you need an expert's opinion.
I reached out to my friend, Dan, who is a big fan of the fast food joint. He's a busy man, but was gracious enough to advocate for the Chicken Quesadilla via text message.
“The greatest Taco Bell item of all time is the Chicken Quesadilla. While other items can vary in quality based on the amount of cheese they put on it [and] the sogginess that can accumulate based on transit time, they really can’t screw up the Chicken Quesadilla. Even if they cut it weird, which they sometimes do, it’s always the perfect mixture of meat, cheese, and jalapeño ranch goop. Plus, it reheats better in an air fryer than anything else on the menu.”
Couldn't have said it better. I still believe that there is one item on the menu that is better than the Chicken Quesadilla.
The king of kings. The master of masters. Credit: Joshua Blanchard/Getty Images for Taco Bell
This is it. The crème de la crème of fast food. The only champion at the top of the podium is the Crunchwrap Supreme.
The best of all worlds is what the Crunchwrap Supreme provides. A warm flour tortilla around the outside gives way to a hard shell that you can put whatever you want inside of. I had black beans and french fries with it. The fries were included in thewrap. If you ask, they will do that.
It is similar to the soft-yet-crunchy dichotomy of the CGC, but with the added benefit of being self-contained to reduce the possibility of a mess. For my money, the ultimate must- eat item on the menu is the Crunchwrap Supreme.
Even if you disagree with the rankings, there is a beautiful truth about the menu at taco bell. You can always get three of these menu items in one order for less than $15. You will always get something that tastes great, doesn't cost much, and will leave you feeling a little off by the end of the day.
It is so worth it.
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