Over the course of a year, I had the opportunity to listen to families and teens talk about their experiences with mental health issues. They helped me understand the experience of a young generation in a crisis.
I realized that these families were doing their own detective work. They were trying to understand what was happening in their homes, whether it was themselves or their children.
In upstate New York, I saw a telling example last year. I was sitting at a restaurant with my reporter's notebook in hand, going over my notes, when a waitress approached and asked what I was doing. I told her that I was reporting on mental health issues for adolescents.
She told you to talk to her daughter.
I met with her and her daughter the next day, who had recently spent time in a treatment center for anxiety and depression. The girl told the story of her struggle while her mother listened intently.
Her story gave me pause. She had been hospitalized and treated, but there was nothing that stood out to me as the cause of her anxiety and depression. I had heard many stories like hers and realized that something was missing. The girl asked her mother if she could speak alone.
Her mother went outside. The teen revealed that she hadn't yet told her mother about her struggle because she didn't want to cause worry. The mother told me that she felt a lot better after the interview. She told me that the parts of it that she had listened to confirmed what her daughter had told her, and that my engagement with the family and previous reporting helped her understand the issue.
She said she knew her daughter like the back of her hand. It seems like you can put the pieces together if you get enough pieces. I'm not putting the whole puzzle together.
I became something of a vessel for adolescents and parents to share their grief and confusion, not just with me but with each other, and to hear their own voices.
Everyone could not identify the cause of the pain. One father said that his daughter told him that she could see colors before she died from a suicide attempt. Two weeks after her death, we had a conversation. The father sobbed and thanked me for listening, but it was clear that he needed to hear it himself and process it.
A mother shared with me her daughter's struggle with anxiety, depression and a suicide attempt. She wanted to know what she was learning from the experts. Why were so many teens suffering?
Understand the signs. Depression and anxiety are different issues, but they share some indicators. Look for changes in the behavior of a youth. A teen in distress may express worry or profound sadness.
Approach with sensitivity. If you want to start a discussion with a teen who might be struggling, be clear and direct. Don't shy from hard questions, but also approach the issue with compassion and not blame.
The correct diagnosis should be obtained. Ask for recommendations to find the right doctor for your child. Ask the specialist if she uses the measurement tools to make medical assessments and if she has treated specific conditions in children.
Carefully consider the effects of your medication. If you want to know if a medication is working and how hard it is to wean off of it, you need to know the doctors experience treating children with specific drugs.
Don't forget the basics. Young people with developing brains need eight to 10 hours of sleep to promote mental and physical health. Lack of sleep can affect development. Physical activity is important.
One adolescent was gripped with fear that a sexual encounter he had had would ruin his life. He said that he carried his fear like a time bomb. He had to tell someone and wonder what to do.
I spoke with dozens of young people, some in brief conversations that informed my thinking but won't appear in this series of stories. In the case of M, who shared their story in one of the first articles of the series, I spoke to other people over many months. I told M that I would need to share that information with their mother, and I did, at one point revealing that they had started self-harming again.
I thanked the teens and parents for sharing. I'm telling you this so that you can help someone else deal with this stuff.
Some people wanted to vent their anger at the medical system. They wanted a measure of justice. They spoke with me because they wanted to understand and heal themselves.
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