Vladimir Guerrero Jr. made every baseball sorry it was ever born

We are going to be hearing from Blue Jay fans all season, and it will be kicked into high gear here in the next month after the Maple Leafs were humiliated in the first round. The Rogers Centre will get all of that energy immediately. You will not be able to duck it.

It will be hard to be mad at them because the team is fun and could score 1200 runs. Canada's somewhat adult policies on COVID will allow them to beat up on teams with unvaccinated dumbasses.

They have a player who can turn baseballs into their own meteor shower with one swing, like he did earlier this afternoon against the Rangers.

The first home run of the season by Vladimir Guerrero Jr. is a solo shot to center field.

The Arc of The Covenant was opened after 118 MPH and The screaming holy spirit in the second deck was hard for anyone to get around. The Rangers had to take a step and a half before this happened. Lots of outfielders are going to find themselves superfluous this year.

The Jays coughed up a six-run lead thanks to Hyun Jin Ryu's wonder emporium today. The seven-run gap the Jays made up on Friday was nice.

Gains.

It has a weight capacity of 700 pounds and can be adjusted with ease between seven back positions and three seat positions.