I debated between a Lethal Weapon 2 joke and a barb to start the story about Gary Player wearing a Saudi Golf League logo.
Gary Player did his best Arjen Rudd impression at the Masters on Thursday, and I'm proud of it, it's an exquisitely specific reference to a time when South Africans were movie villains.
He shouldn't have been so excited to wear that stupid-ass quarter zip, but he shared the tee with a supporter of Donald Trump, so I'm not going to act like golf isn't a safe space for old. If Player banging the anti-cancel culture drum for Lefty isn't an indication of that, I don't know what is.
The three-time Masters champion golfer spoke.
I don't think it's good. It's amazing. Mickelson is being crucified from the epitome of perfect. It is not right.
Phil Mickelson has been the greatest PR man on the golf Tour in the last five years. He has been the ideal man for a sponsor, for professional golf, for the public, the way he has handled them, with dignity and love. He apologized. I told him to hold his head up. You have made a mistake. Everybody makes a mistake. He should continue with his life.
It is hard to find a starting spot for this story. I have to start somewhere, so I will evoke Jesus Christ. Which cross is being nailed to? The tour commissioner dodged the question when asked about it, saying the leave is voluntary and they will cross that bridge when he returns.
Had he accepted the invitation to play, it was unclear if the PGA would allow him back. Some of the backlash has already dissipated, as evidenced by the event reaching out to Phil to invite him to play.
Player told the public that he has done his penance and can move on, and that they can embrace Phil again. That stunt with the turtleneck only makes sense, as it shows that he was onto something with this Saudi league, and he just stepped in goose shit on the way to tap in his putt.
I'm not saying that the PGA Tour isn't bad, I'm just saying that he shouldn't have ignored the research that led to it.
The ceremonial opening of the sport's most famous major won't sit well with the player, who hails from a country with a disgusting human rights record.
People love Lefty for reasons that escape me, and it's just an admission that he, like Phil, is the greatest pitch man in golf over the past few years. The two other men in the scheme faced prison time and he walked away without having to testify.
Is it possible that Lefty asked for Player's help? He is waiting for his exile to end, and now the guy whose son was banned from the Masters for marketing, during a celebration of the first Black man to play in. I'm facepalming all over again if I'm Mickelson.
Player is 86 years old and he said at the Masters that he loves Indian women because they dress moderately. It would get its own post if he had not said anything else. I think I can use my grandpa joke in that one, because it's an archaic, misogynistic marketing ploy to praise the customs of possible business associates while throwing shade at women who dress up their butt.
It's hard to stand out during a tournament where Tiger Woods is heroically limping around the course, so kudos to Player for making headlines and playing a heel that even Mel Gibson can hate.
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