I asked my mother if I was ugly when she was brushing my hair.
She stopped running the brush through my hair when she was horrified by the question. She asked where the question was coming from. A boy in my class called me ugly.
It was the first time I felt bad about myself. But that was just the beginning of a very troubled relationship with myself. The boy on the playground called me ugly. He wasn't the last person to question my sense of self.
I know that I am not the only one who feels this way. If you are reading this, you might have a similar story about the first time you ever wondered if you were smart or ugly.
I hit an all-time low in my self-esteem a few months after turning 31. I was so tired of feeling bad about myself that I snapped. There are a lot of useless platitudes on the internet on the topic of self-esteem. I wanted to find ways to improve my self-esteem in my everyday life.
I wrote this article for myself and anyone who has ever wondered what to do about low self esteem.
Negative thoughts can be convincing. I have thought of many terrible things about myself. If you want to challenge your negative thoughts, you should remind yourself of something you did well or succeeded in.
It is easy to fall into patterns in which people are.
If you have low self-esteem, that rating can be based on what you perceive as your failures.
"You have value as you, because you are you: a human being on this planet."
The form of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) developed by Dr Albert Ellis is a form of Rational emotive behavior therapy.
You have value as you because you are a human being on this planet. You should base your confidence on the idea that you are sufficient. You should remind yourself of this daily.
Every day, a log should be kept of any positive things, compliment, or praise that is said about you or your work. You might feel weird doing it, but why not try it?
If you receive the same comment multiple times, keep a tally next to it and review the log at the end of the week. On a scale of 0-10, how much do I believe that all of these positive things are true of me?
If writing a list of praise isn't your thing, you can keep a journal of your achievements. Whatever you feel proud of, this could be anything from finishing a work task to making your own lunch the night before.
A journal can be used to keep track of different feelings, and you can use it to write down things you like about yourself.
If you spend a lot of time on social media, you can easily compare yourself to others. If you are worried about the impact of social media on your self-esteem, read my piece.
If you feel bad about yourself on social media, Sofie recommends not following, hiding, or blocking accounts. Do this to all the social-media accounts that make you feel bad. This doesn't make you jealous. It makes you vulnerable. We all are.
Everyone else on this planet is a worthwhile, fallible human being. They have successes and failures of their own. He says the only person you need to compare yourself to is you.
It is easy to treat yourself harshly or critically when things go wrong. I'm guessing not.
How we treat ourselves affects our mental wellbeing. He says that a kind compassionate approach to yourself will change your world.
In his book Over The Top, Jonathan Van Ness talks about how to parent yourself and how to treat yourself with kindness.
Learning from all the decisions you made to get you to where you are is the key to being fulfilled. It has been in you the whole time. You can always make a beautiful recovery even if you get down.
Sometimes my low self-esteem makes me want to be nice. People with low self-esteem can feel like they have to say yes to others even if they don't want to.
This could make you feel depressed or overburdened. She says to say no if you are not comfortable with something.
Dr. Sheetal Sirohi says if you can improve your self-esteem by yourself, well done. If you are struggling, seek help. A Psychiatrist or psychologist can give direction and support in times of stress when one is vulnerable.
I know I have a tendency to be very unkind to myself. My inner voice speaks to me in a way that I wouldn't dream of speaking to another person.
If you will allow me one platitude, it is this: be kind to yourself. You should treat yourself the same way you would a friend.
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