It can be difficult to visit a sex shop in person. It can be hard to figure out how each of the hundreds of different toys is supposed to help your business. The sex tech industry organizes toys by gender.
These distinctions are not good for customers or the industry. Why does it matter what my gender is when I buy a toy? Sex toy makers don't know what's in my pants. They don't know what you have in your pants. They make some presumptions about what should be in there when they divide toys along gender lines. The sex toy industry should know that genitals do not equal genders.
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Pleasure doesn't have a gender.
Making distinctions along gender lines is not new, but it is. There are men and women who have vulvas and women who have phalluses, and there are people who don't identify with the gender binary at all. They all have genitals, and like to buss them down sexual style. There are many people on the gender spectrum who enjoy toys they don't know exist because of gendered barriers.
I am a queer trans woman. I had a varied sexual history before I started testing sex toys. I was 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 There is no such thing as a toy that works only with one gender. People with phalluses, anuses, and more can use vibrators and other toys that are marketed to women. The toys are marketed as being for men. Buttholes don't have a gender. And strokers work on clits as well.
A sex toy isn't the only way to get off. They can be used to explore your body and find out what makes you happy. They can help you see yourself in a different way. Testing new sex tech has helped me appreciate my body more than I can change. It makes me sad to think of other people being deprived of those experiences because companies are invested in outdated gender standards.
Skipping steps.
That is the other problem, and it is a much bigger one. Sex tech is more present in mainstream publications. Increased exposure has made it easier for people to talk about sex and sexual health, which is good for everyone.
Making and promoting toys that are heavily gendered skips a crucial step. You have to deconstruct what gender means in a sexual and social context if you want to get rid of the social taboos around sex. By using gendered language and labels on sex toys, these companies aren't just adhering to inaccurate and trans-exclusionary ideas.
It's harmful to trans, nonbinary, gender fluid, and gender non conforming people who already have to navigate a world that reminds them every single day that they are not a consideration, we are abnormal, and we are an annoyance. It's heartbreaking that most sex toy manufacturers don't care about us, and that they are reinforcing barriers that are often used to harm us.
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