Kirby and the Forgotten Land is as sweet and slight as cotton candy

Kirby and The Forgotten Land feels like a game that could be made for this moment in time. I imagine a dark basement at Nintendo HQ where a group of people are watching world affairs and whenever it gets too dire, they hit a red button. I don't think Kirby and The Forgotten Land has the same kind of staying power that Animal Crossing has. It's fun to play for a couple of hours but it doesn't have enough to keep you hooked.

In Kirby and the Forgotten Land, you play as a pink blob that has a lot of power and motivation. As he merrily goes about, doing whatever it is a God-child of indescribable power does, he is swept up in a storm that takes him to a land that looks like a post-apocalyptic Earth analogue. Waddle Dees have been captured by a pack of beasts and it is up to him to save them. Along the way, God-child Kirby makes use of his appetite to swallow all kinds of objects that help him save his friends.

I confess that I have never played a Kirby game. I don't know why people love this franchise. This is the prettiest video game I have played in a long time, and I have an understanding of it.

Nintendo

The joy in this game is infectious. Kirby is happy. As your home base slowly fills with the Waddle Dees you save, Kirby goes around town waving enthusiastically at his wards with a childish high-pitched voice. Kirby and The Forgotten Land is a tactical cruise missile designed to make you smile no matter how bad you feel. It is the video game equivalent of puppy videos and I needed its brightness.

I wish it inspired more joy. The game is called Forgotten Land. Each level has a list of parameters that you have to complete in order to earn more hidden Waddle Dees. The secret Waddle Dees are usually gated behind not-that-hidden pathways.

There are side-levels in the game called the Treasure Road, which are similar to the rotating block levels in Super Mario Sunshine. Kirby gets a rare stone if he completes a level within the time limit. He uses rare stones and not-really-that-hard-to- find blueprints to upgrade his power-ups into their more powerful forms.

Kirby's standard power-ups include fire, ice, wind, and gun, all of which were learned from his ability to vore his enemies. Do not search for that. Kirby's powers make dealing with enemies trivial, but they aren't all that powerful. Is smashing up bosses with Meta Knight's sword cool? Yes. Kirby's base level star-spit power does more damage to bosses than all the powers you worked so hard to obtain.

Kirby's Mouthful Mode powers add a bit of variety to the game. I love the power of mouthful mode. It's not only because Kirby looks so cute, it's also because each power adds a unique twist to the game. I don't have to think about it when I play Kirby. The game becomes fun when I engage my brain in mouthful mode.

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I have to keep the light on so I don't step off a narrow path while also attracting enemies, because when Kirby swallows a lightbulb the level goes dark. Seeing cracked pavement makes me look for a traffic cone to swallow so I can smash through and get Waddle Dee or something.

Waddle Dee Town is where you save assemble the Waddle Dees. The more you save, the more things you can do. There is a cafe game that has Kirby serving the correct order to the fastest line of Waddle Dees. Another mini-game has you controlling Kirby using the Switch gyro controls. There is a coliseum in which you can fight a boss against the clock to get weapon blueprints and other rewards.

• Serve food as fast as you can in Waddle Dee Town Cafe Nintendo
• Look at this adorable ass God-child Nintendo
• Yes, there’s fishing! Nintendo
• Use you cash to buy gacha toys to put on display in your home Nintendo

Waddle Dee Town feels empty. It feels like a carnival to visit for a short time, even with all the attractions and waving Waddle Dees. The mini games don't seem to offer rewards beyond cash to buy items for Kirby to take on his journey, and they aren't that interesting beyond a single playthrough. Kirby has a home that you can decorate, with collectible statues found in the world or paid for from a little gacha machine in town, but his walls are mostly bare. You can only put three statues on the mantle of a one-room house.

Kirby comes off as a dick when he is a non-Kirby player. The developers made a huge mistake. I can't bring myself to harm the little puppy/fox looking things that sometimes show up to bark, growl, and harass Kirby. I avoided them because they are so cute, and whenever I did, I would ignore them. Thankfully, they are dim so a quick hover over them and they would careen off into the distance. They are called Awoofies for the love of god. You want me to fight something that looks like my dog with a name that sounds like a five-year-old made it up in a game of pretend? Awoofies. Absolutely not.

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I was waiting for the twist that showed the Awoofies were actually the good guys who were forced to serve King Dedede. It never happened. Nintendo is 100 percent committed to having you kill these cute-as-shit animals that sometimes don't even fight Kirby to lie sleeping. What is Nintendo?

I have never been able to understand why Kirby has a strong dislike for trees and always has his hands in the air. Fighting cute dogs, trees, and fluffy bunnies doesn't sound like hero behavior to me.

It has a low replayability factor. There is no sense in trying to aim for the Waddle Dees you missed. There's nothing to uncover, no branching path to possibly find, only the satisfaction of saving a poor person and a cute two-second video of Kirby and the Waddle Dee rejoicing in freedom. Since their little happy dance is so cute, the feel-good brain chemicals you get from seeing it makes the extra effort worth it.

The game takes too long to start. It became more difficult with platforming and Waddle Dee puzzles as I got to the final stage and boss fight. If the game had started with that kind of difficulty and stayed at that level for the entire game, I would have preferred that. I wish I had made up the game's core, because there are harder bonus levels after the end credits that really test your puzzle solving and secret finding skills. I understand why the level of difficulty might be a little too slow for me since it is more for younger kids and their parents.

Kirby and the Forgotten Land doesn't do enough. You can save Waddle Dees and defeat the bosses. Save enough Waddle Dees to upgrade the town and unlock various attractions that don't do much to hold your attention beyond a couple of attempts. There isn't a reason to keep playing the cafe game after you beat your high score. That incentive is enough for the people who like to keep their initials at the top of their cabinet, but for casual players it's not much of a factor.

There is a cotton candy allegory to be drawn here. Kirby is very sweet and fluffy like the carnival confection. It looks attractive and fun to eat, but the minute you put it in your mouth it will start dissolving. You barely noticed it was there. It is fun for the moment, but lacks substance. And that is okay! Kirby and the Forgotten Land is more than enough to outstrip its relative emptiness.

On March 25th, Kirby and The Forgotten Land will be available on the Nintendo Switch.