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The lead singer of her own band, and a host of a show on the internet, is Trisha Paytas. She collected everything from $80,000 to blinged out toilet paper rolls. We are on a tour of her new closets.

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Close up of groom in paisley suit putting ring on bride's finger at alter
I've planned quite a few weddings, so I have the answers to questions many couples are scared to ask.GoProtography/Shutterstock
  • People are too embarrassed to ask questions when they are a wedding planner.

  • There are ways to say that you don't want kids or unvaccinated guests at your wedding.

  • You do not have to serve a meal or register, but this should be clearly communicated to guests.

Wedding planning can take a lot of time, and from listening to loved ones opinions to dealing with the phases of the COVID-19 pandemic, it is normal to have a lot of questions while preparing for your special day.

Some couples are too embarrassed to ask questions at their wedding.

Will it kill the mood if I mention COVID-19?

guests sitting at a wedding ceremony
guests sitting at a wedding ceremony
It's best to go over health and safety guidelines with your guests before the wedding.Shchus/Shutterstock

Even if you don't want to talk about it, your guests and vendors are still thinking about it.

Tell your guests how you and your partner prioritize their health and safety instead of leaving them in the dark.

You can create a COVID-19 safety policy and share it with your guests and vendors. Consider what a vaccine boundary would look like at your wedding or what type of proof of vaccinations you need.

We need to remember that some people can't get a vaccine and that this isn't perfect.

I encourage you and your partner to talk about COVID-19 and your wedding. The alternative is that you don't talk about it at all, which is how people end up stressed and sick.

How do we politely uninvite people?

Couples realize that uninviting a guest means more money to spend on other things and a chance to talk to everyone at their own wedding.

If you have already sent this person some kind of guest-facing correspondence, such as a save the date or an invite, this is a tough one.

There is a chance that this person has already made arrangements for travel, time off work, or child care.

You can either do one of the two things.

  • You can own it. Explain that you and your partner have changed the goal of your wedding, and that your original plan no longer works. You had to reduce the guest count.

  • Just a little. Many couples are using the next phase of the Pandemic to change their guest lists. They say that they are complying with health and safety regulations, but that they are reducing head count even though they could probably have more people.

If you use a little white lie to politely uninvite that second cousin you haven't talked to in 10 years, it makes the whole thing a little easier.

To make this bad news go over a little better, you can offer alternatives such as minireceptions, where the couple travels to the guests, or virtual options, where the couple can communicate with each other.

You can suggest ways to communicate such as texting, phone calls, cards, and gifts. One of the ways people show love and support is through gift giving, so don't cheat anybody even if they aren't coming to your wedding.

What if I changed my mind about someone in the wedding party?

Most states do not require you to have a wedding party in the first place.

If you want someone to no longer be your maid of honor or best man, you need to be compassionate and kind. You should explain in person or over the phone why you and your partner no longer feel that this person serves the goal of the wedding.

Make this choice about the higher purpose of the wedding and not a critique of the person's character by avoiding statements and centering how everyone can enjoy the day more fully. I deeply value your friendship, and I feel this job has put a lot of strain on what we love about each other as friends, so I want to find another way you can be a part of our wedding.

This person may be reading something during the ceremony, giving a toast, or having time before, during, or after the wedding for just the two of you. Don't be limited by the responsibilities of a wedding party.

It is likely that the other person will still feel bad about it, so their initial reaction may be defensiveness, pain, and even anger. Don't force them to feel a certain way about your decision.

What do I do if someone is bringing a plus-one and it's someone I don't want at my wedding?

While you care about the sibling, you might have doubts about their taste in partners.

I challenge you and your partner to ask themselves if attendance at our wedding will reduce our joy.

In most cases, having a weird boyfriend is not a deal breaker.

If you answer yes, be prepared for a very tough conversation that can end in neither party attending.

Unless you can have a heart-to-heart with this person, and they are willing to attend without their date, your only other option is to not allow plus-ones.

How do I make it clear I don't want kids at my wedding?

A boy takes bread from the wedding party table at a wedding.
There are ways to politely message that you don't want kids at your wedding.martinedoucet/Getty Images

You can say it, and know that it means that some people you care about won't be able to attend your wedding.

When some vaccinations are not available for children under 12 during the COVID-19 Pandemic, this is especially true.

At your wedding, you can offer on-site care. It can be a nice way to invite kids without having them take over the whole wedding.

What do I do about loved ones who want to plan the wedding for me?

If they are helping to pay for part of the wedding, loved ones want to be involved in the planning process.

The most effective option is to pay for everything yourself, but this is not possible for most couples.

If you want to communicate guidelines to your inner circle, be very clear about what you want out of your wedding day. Sending a million links is the best way to get the person who's texting you to love you.

If you remember the power of no, thank you, and consider ways others could be involved that play to their talents, you can acknowledge the love without agreeing to something that is out of sync with your values.

Is it OK not to register?

Some people are going to want to buy you a gift.

They will either bug you about it or buy something you will never use if you deprive them of that opportunity.

Think of your registry as an opportunity to fund other things. Are there experiences that you and your partner would like to have a registry for? What about nonprofits that you support? Is it possible to ask for donations?

If you approach a registry like a creative project, build it together as a couple.

Will people be bored during our wedding ceremony?

Couple dancing at wedding
Couple dancing at wedding
Though the reception is fun, there's no need to rush to rush the ceremony.Oleksandr Schevchuk/Shutterstock

I think this portion is one of the most important parts of a wedding, because you might think you should rush through the ceremony to get to the reception.

The most elaborate secular ceremonies usually last no more than 30 minutes. If you think yours will go longer, send guest-facing correspondence before or on the wedding day so people have notice before the ceremony begins.

If you invite a varied group of people, give them notice so they know what the day will look like, if you believe your guests don't usually attend religious ceremonies.

Do I have to serve a meal?

While you don't have to serve a meal, you should give people a heads-up because the idea of a wedding usually involves some kind of dinner.

Dessert to follow or guests are encouraged to bring their favorite dish are some delicious ways to talk about food.

The goal is to let your guests know what will and won't be available at the wedding so they can plan accordingly.

Do we have to have sex on the wedding night?

While some cultures still adhere to abedding ceremony, many don't, and that means you two don't have to prove anything to anyone when it comes to your sex life.

A wedding night can be a bad time to fool around because you are tired and drunk.

Remember that you have the honeymoon and the rest of your life to catch up, and take the pressure off.

The original article can be found on Insider.

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