INSIDERINSIDER
Jennifer L.W. Fink and her husband
We moved in together after being committed to each other for over a decade, including four years as a married couple.Jennifer L.W. Fink
  • It was easier for me to get along with my spouse when we did not live in the same house.

  • Each of us knows that our way is the right way.

  • The mundane tasks of daily life are more enjoyable when we are together.

It is easier to get along with your spouse when you do not live in the same house. After two months of living with my husband full time, that is my biggest lesson.

We have been married and committed to one another since 2010, but we have only recently become roommates. We kept separate homes about a mile apart.

The economic arguments for marriage remain. It is cheaper to maintain one household. It is nice to divide and conquer household chores.

When I moved in, I expected some challenges. My husband was a bachelor for most of the 2000s. I had been alone with my four sons since 2009. We had never experienced success or satisfaction living with a spouse. Our previous marriages were not good.

We thought that our decade together gave us an advantage. My husband and I have known each other for more than 10 years. I know his weaknesses, he knows mine, and we love each other.

When my address changed, I did not expect our relationship to change. We have learned a few things about one another.

He's quick to jump to conclusions, and I still carry emotional baggage

My husband is used to being in charge of his environment. When he was alone, things stayed wherever he put them. He assumes that someone took it when something is out of place, and 99% of the time he is wrong.

Slowly, he is learning to slow his roll.

I thought I had learned a lot about conflict management. I have been pretty even-keeled in recent years, and I thought of years of therapy and reflection. I was proud of the mostly peaceful home I had created for myself and my boys, and I believed I had grown beyond my first marriage.

We had a fight.

I felt his anger and irritation and responded by pulling away, going quiet, and watching his body language and tone of voice. After we discussed and settled the underlying issue, I realized that my emotional reaction was not related to the current situation.

I'm approaching 50 years old, but I'm still a toddler in many ways.

I have yet to develop healthy conflict-resolution skills, but I am trying.

We both think we're right and know we're better together

We developed certain routines and habits while we were living apart, and we are sure that our way is the right way.

My husband is a realist, while I am a dreamer. We are both flawed humans who are able to survive each day.

We can take advantage of our skills when we mess together. He has a strong suit because he worked in home construction. A former nurse turned writer, I can focus on family health and safety.

The mundane tasks of daily life are more fun when we are together, and neither of us takes this partnership for granted. I am fortunate to live with my best friend.

The original article can be found on Insider.

  • Since Russia's invasion of Ukraine, the popularity of the luxury Bunker has surged.

  • The 6-year-old, who was sworn in as a police officer and loved pizza, Spider-Man, Power Rangers and McDonald's, died Thursday.

  • AdParamount+
    • Why this Ad?
    • Go ad-free*

    The new series is on Paramount+. You can try it for free.

  • The selection process for the wedding party is cruel.

  • Lynette Barnett was in the pastor's corner. Return to your first love, Jesus Christ.

  • Daytona Beach News-Journal

    An accident damaged the Main Street bridge.

  • AdEnence
    • Why this Ad?
    • Go ad-free*

    You can speak in 43 languages with this invention.

  • We need more help because we are getting older and sicker.

  • In a series of deleted posts, the rapper lashes out at KimKardashian about custody issues.

  • The LuxClub bamboo sheet set has over 100,000 five-star ratings on Amazon, and right now they are on sale for 39 percent off.

  • This is what it was like to be a warrior.

  • Nine SEC teams were stumped by John Calipari to earn a bid. Six years ago, that would have been a joke.

  • The railway station was bombed as the girl tried to escape with her grandmother.

  • A foster care that takes in child victims of sex traffickers is accused of doing that very thing. One person at the facility was arrested for having one of the teens take a nude photo of herself, selling it, and using the money to buy drugs and give to the children. The repercussions of this have on victims, children looking to get help, and even adults who are looking to foster children.

  • How much cleaning services should cost? Now is Serach.

  • Larry Stinchcomb has a special bond with his sister Joyce.

  • The second season of the reality-dating series, on which couples get engaged before seeing each other, returned on February 11.

  • As They Made Us follows a divorced mother of two who is struggling to find sanity in her family as she attempts to cultivate new love. Eugene and Barbara refuse to accept that Eugene has a disease. Nathan has been out of the family for a long time. Before it's too late, a self-appointed fixer tries to mend her family.

  • AdYourDIY
    • Why this Ad?
    • Go ad-free*

    The experts can't explain the strange things discovered on Mars.

  • The family of Patrick Mahomes shared pictures from the ceremony.

  • I found out my dad was in prison for murder before I was born.

  • While on a walk in Pacific Palisades, Calif., Chris Pratt and his pregnant wife looked like they were in love.

  • Is Thuma Bed Frames worth it? Our Honest Review is here.

  • The sister of aGrammy award-winning singer has died of cancer. The singer, radio personality, and reality show star was a person.

  • We are sad to report the passing of Traci Braxton who died of cancer at the age of 50.

  • William Hurt, who became a top leading man in the 1980s, won an Oscar forKiss of the Spider Woman. He died at the age of 71. Variety was told of Hurt's death by his friend. His son said something.