With the MLB trying so little to end the lockout, here are other things they could try less at, too

I've seen NBA superstars try harder to get traded than the MLB has done to end the labor dispute. The decision is easy when you have the choice between ripping the man or bringing down the people.

The MLB trying so little makes it even easier. There are no updates. The Commissioner tried to distract us with proposals like a universal DH, but the media tried to bring him back on the topic.

I wish we could try this out in other aspects of baseball. There is a time and a place to be laissez-faire, mail it in, chill or just try less. I will let you know when less is more.

Try less nostalgia-based marketing approaches

If I get subjected to another sport, I'm going to burn down the place. Baseball is marketed based on its historical significance.

You can smell racism if you inhale deeply and strongly. Is it possible to have a segregation-scented candle with my Babe Ruth bobblehead?

I'm not saying we should put a backward hat on Steve Buscemi, but there are more ways to market Mike Trout than a Wheaties box. If you knew what I was talking about in the first place, I don't think Wheaties does that anymore. How many times have Commissioner Rob Manfred urged his crack marketing team to enter the bubble gum market?

I have never seen a golfer launch a golf ball out of Top Golf. Baseball players are not real athletes. If John Kruk can play baseball, anyone with a beer gut and mullet can hit 20 homers.

It could be as simple as an ad featuring the best athletes in the world, such as Tom Brady, Sidney Crosby, or any one of the 70 closers who throw in the 100s.

You can get footage of your best players doing athletically viral activities, such as Fernando Tatis Jr. clearing half an Olympic pool in one of those ball-catching-diving- into-pool videos, or Joey Votto.

It doesn't require Brian Kelly dancing in a TikTok video to bring your marketing campaign into the 2020s.

Try less jargon

This isn't an anti-analyTICS rant. I think they're smart. I look up statistics for articles that are already documented. Baseball writers lose a lot of casual fans when they start typing in abbreviations.

If you want to show that Trea Turner is X amount better than a made-up average/replacement player, compare him to Paul DeJong or Gleyber Torres. If you want to get people to understand how good Turner is, you should let the reader know who his peers are rather than how good he is.

I can follow what you're saying if I have a glossary at hand, but most of the time I'm going to need you to explain your fancy statistics to me, like I'm five years old. A higher percentage of hits are for extra bases. Why didn't you just say that? The analytic nerds were rolling their eyes at me. I used it because it was quick to explain. Take it easy. I don't have a lot of extra words.

I was not the only one who was confused by Moneyball. The goal of a batter is to reach base safely, so the more players you have who can do that, the better.

It was a boom, analytics.

Try less concern for pace of play

Where do you want to be that's better than a ballpark? The old sports writers are tired of being told to wait to play and have joined up with young beat writers who are bored and want to play fast.

I don't understand why the MLB wants people to spend less time in places that make them money. Attempting to appease people who pass commercial breaks by playing Candy Crush or yelling at them is an act of futility.

It would be funnier if Johnny Knoxville came out of the bleachers and punched Joe Madden in the crotch. This is not a game of Never Never Land.

If you mention how little current players care about striking out, you will keep old sports writers up at night. Ted, strike outs are bad, but it's hard to see the TV when you keep shaking your fist.

I enjoy sitting in silence. I'll watch paint dry if I get a cold beer and peanuts. It's time to embrace the boredom. It builds character.

Try less unwritten rules

You are barely allowed to celebrate in a sport as difficult as baseball. If I only succeeded at my job for 20 to 30 percent of the time, I would cry tears of joy when I hit a home run. A majority of the time, pitchers are sensitive to guys who do their job well.

If you give up hits and home runs so much that you feel compelled to bean the hitter with a 90-plus mph fastball during his next plate appearance, then maybe pitching isn't for you. The success rate is much higher if you try Mcdonald's or Burger King.

Bat flips should be seen as an art form, as is the case in Korea. We like to see defensive units posing in front of end zone cameras after turnovers. Discouraging creativity and happiness is for communists.

I would love to see a pitcher grab a camera after getting out of a jam and screaming into it. They do that already. The person who came up with the phrase "If you don't like them celebrating, don't let them score" should be given a Presidential medal of freedom.

It would be great to see baseball without a bunch of managers harumphing over the opposition. There is a premium placed on decorum in a sport rife with crotch adjusting and tobacco spit.

Try less offensive chants, logos, team names

The term I used to describe this segment is self-explanatory. It's pretty shocking that organizations don't know better. Changing your team's name or chant is going to hurt some people in your fan base, but the only people who are going to care enough to disown the team are fans.

We covered Atlanta's seen-on-such-programs-as-the-World-Series and the Cleveland Guardians continued sales of historical merchandise.

This is from Grace McDermott's piece on the Chop.

Why do the mascots matter? I would argue that removing racist names and traditions is a small step that doesn't even begin to create justice.

Try less Alex Rodriguez

Who likes this guy? That is not rhetorical. I'm asking. He's getting his own Manningcast with the Yankees and that will get him out of the Sunday Night Baseball booth where he was as insufferable as he was during his playing days.

I don't know what makes anyone think he's a good hang, but the guy has the personality of a vanilla Activia. We're supposed to revere A-Rod because he apologized for using steroids in a sweater. Absolutely not.

If someone asked Rodriguez if he hit the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove in the ALCS, he would try to convince us not to hate him. I was in a class that visited Politico when Tucker Carlson worked there, and one of my classmates asked him about the Jon Stewart Crossfire appearance when Stewart embarrassed Carlson to the point of heel turn. He was taken aback/pissed, and it was awkward and glorious, and questions like that would make for more compelling TV than Kay-Rod yucked it up about the time he was made shine his cleats. Jetes could only keep A-Rod from following him around by doing menial tasks.

Please join Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and the rest of thePED users in the witness protection program.