How TikTok helped me and my dog deal with separation anxiety

I never thought I would say this, but TikTok has become a useful resource in my life, especially when it comes to my dog.

When my husband and I adopted her at 12 weeks old, we did not know much about her except that she had some attachment issues. She would try to jump in the shower with me, fiercely resisted crate training, and developed a self-soothing habit of sucking and kneading on her favorite blanket. She may have been too early from her mom.

The behaviors improved and we attributed them to puppy habits. The concept of separation became meaningless during the Pandemic. When I started to leave the house more, the old separation anxiety reared its head again. She wouldn't touch her food or water until I came back, even though she has been house-trained for years.

If you have a dog with separation anxiety, you know how taxing it can be: preparing before you go with Kong.

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said that many of us are at risk for developing separation anxiety when our schedules return to normal. According to a survey by the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, 23 million American households acquired a pet during the Pandemic.

What do you do about it? TikToks about separation anxiety started showing up on my For You Page after I turned to them. The surprise was how useful they were.

One of the first videos I watched was about how not to leave the house. Christman kept on leaving his four dachshunds with frantic assurances, jangling his keys. The message is simple and effective: Don't make a big deal about leaving, don't do things that might put them on edge, and don't give dogs a reason to worry. It's standard advice but a valuable reminder, and it was delivered to me in an entertaining, actionable amuse-bouche that required zero search effort on my end.

Credit: TikTok / @dr.adamchristman52

Credit: TikTok / @dr.adamchristman52

It is important to point out some of the pitfalls of using TikTok for dog training. Christman and other pets experts I talked to for this story made it clear that their videos are not a substitute for working with vets or trainers. They give general tips and resources that should be used with care. There is a lot of bad advice out there, and anyone can claim to be an expert. Christman says to look at credentials, other social media profiles, and online presence to see if someone is legit. Trust your gut. It is possible to double-check legitimacy by running a suggestion by your own vet. Pay attention to how your pet responds. It's time to try something else if they seem upset or bothered by a training technique.

Digestible information at your fingertips

Christman, the chief veterinary officer of MJH Life Sciences, noticed that his fulltime colleagues were being swamped by the rising demand for veterinary services when the Pandemic hit.

I wanted to make some simple, digestible information that would take away the stress of the reception phones. Christman started sharing veterinary information on TikTok in the summer of 2020. His TikToks have generated more than 18 million likes and 757,000 followers.

Trainers, veterinarians, and other pet experts have succeeded on TikTok because they've figured out how to pack their message into this formula. 

TikTok keeps our attention. The music, the caption, the trends, and yes, the highly personalized algorithm are all part of a precisely calculated formula that works really well. Dogtok videos are easy to consume, but they don't lack substance. Trainers, veterinarians, and other pet experts have succeeded on TikTok because they have figured out how to pack their message into this formula. The information-dense bite goes down easy.

That is what drew me to the book. Malawey, a trainer based in Washington State who specializes in behavioral issues, breaks down underlying concepts behind behavior, like how dogs become fearful or the threshold of calm to full-blown panic. It helps me to understand her on a deeper level if I know what she is thinking or feeling.

Credit: TikTok / @dizzydancingdog

Credit: TikTok / @dizzydancingdog

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to separation anxiety. Malawey's TikToks helped me define what worked for us. Kongs and food puzzles may work well for some dogs, but others might be too anxious to play with them and develop a negative association with treats. It's possible that crate anxiety training can make separation worse. The TikTok from Malawey was like adding another layer of paint to the big picture of separation anxiety.

I can look up what I find on TikTok at my leisure to learn more, because with TikTok, I can passively gather information instead of carving out time to watch training videos or do a training session. All this requires is the effort of moving my thumb and scrolling through my phone.

Malawey said she switched to TikTok for the same reason she used to do livestreams on YouTube, which is that most people prefer fast-paced content.

Direct connections and conversations 

Facebook is where you let people know that people are dead, but then there is TikTok, which is where the party is at.

The ability to interact directly with people all over the world makes TikTok such a powerful medium. Along with his videos, he goes live every night to answer questions. He is often asked about behavioral issues like separation anxiety, which gives him the chance to respond in a more in-depth manner. Tell me about your day, and how did we get to where we feel that your dog suffers from separation anxiety?

Credit: TikTok / @dr.adamchristman52

Credit: TikTok / @dr.adamchristman52

Malawey is on TikTok for an altruistic reason, but having an online presence is mandatory for any dog trainer these days. That is why I am there. I can help.

There’s a whole community out there, and they want to help

Trainers on TikTok have stakes in getting the right information to pet owners. A trainer from Montreal got his start by training animals at animal shelters to be more likely to be adopted and not returned. Many of the people O&Donnell has seen were first-time dog owners.

A lot of the issues for which dogs are being returned to shelters are just puppy behavior, like biting or jumping. He feels like he is helping people through his videos. It could mean the difference between keeping or surrendering a dog, even if it is just giving them support.

O&Donnell specializes in puppy training, which means preventative measures like never forcing a puppy into their crate, so they learn to love it as a safe space. If your dog already has anxiety separation, this doesn't apply, but O'Donnell says teaching boundaries and clear directives from the beginning helps puppies not to develop behavior issues.

Credit: TikTok / @cashcommands.dogtraining

Credit: TikTok / @cashcommands.dogtraining

He gives encouragement and context to first-time and established pet owners, since knowing how hard it is to raise a dog doesn't necessarily make it easier. It is a comfort to have the resources at my fingertips. The hundreds of comments thanking the creators reminds me that I am in the right place.

You can be who you are on TikTok. Christman said that no one really judges you there. You don't feel dumb to ask a question because of this open dialogue. You have the ability for people to support you.

I am motivated to reach the point where I don't feel a twinge of panic when I leave the house because it has definitely made progress. I will scroll with purpose and conviction until then.