We have our first look at the final designs for the next wave of emoji, which will be released with the latest version of the OS. They are horny again.
There are 25 new skin tone variations and combo for the handshake, but there aren't many completely new emoji in the set. Fortunately for everyone who enjoys spicing up their messages with a well- placed tiny picture, some of them are certain to come in handy.
It's never too early for me and my fellow sickos to start normalising a whole new visual vocabulary of obscure sexual allusions, even though these specific emoji will only be available in the early stages of the wide release.
Lip bite
Credit: Emojipedia
This one needs to be addressed upfront. This is a very horny expression. It's the most horny emoji ever approved. There are no un-horny uses for this.
I like to call it the Unhorny Valley because it is so horny. The Unhorny Valley is similar to it's namesake in that it's67531675316753167531 is6753167531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 is67531 The dialogue in Fifty Shades of Grey, the Lin-Manuel Miranda selfie, and the most popular music videos are all found in the Unhorny Valley. There is no escape from the Unhorny Valley and there is no mount on the other side.
A new version of the "It is what it is" face is the only chance for this to change. The flattened, yassified-goldfish gape of the original, signifying shock, disgust, or confusion, takes on a whole new meaning if you add the performative horniness of the lip bite. The internet always needs new ways of expressing one emotion.
Melting face
Credit: Emojipedia
You know the scene in Amelie where she splashes all over the floor after melting into a puddle of water? Being reduced to a puddle isn't just for hot days, it's also for full-body mortification.
Slide
Credit: Emojipedia
In Australia, a slide is also known as a slippery dip. You don't need to be Australian to see the sexy potential of an object designed to offer just the right amount of friction to be fun.
Pregnant everyone
Credit: Emojipedia
This new addition shows that not all people who give birth or eat enormous meals are women, and it also allows you to ditch the Kylie Jenner meme and convey the life-changing impact of an especially stellar nude or Harry Styles fashion shoot, whatever your gender identity.
Lotus
Credit: Emojipedia
It is clear that using the word "vulva" in a non-health related context is sexy.
If you do it right, there is a slightly more subtle evocation of bloom and fullness that can be sexy, as Troye Sivan demonstrated in one of the prettiest songs ever written about bottoming. The lotus's upturned petals could be suggestively explicit. Because no two vulvas are the same, it is nice to have more alternatives to the oyster, shell, and a large semi-aquatic rodent.
Palm up and palm down
Credit: Emojipedia
The curled and spread fingers are perfect for cupping something, while the palm-down version is ready to brush across an expanse of bare skin.
The beans
Credit: Emojipedia
It is a good idea to locate just one bean, it is good for your heart.
Finger hearts
Credit: Emojipedia
The crossed tips of the index finger and thumb create a heart shape, a gesture popularised by Kpop idols and South Korean actors, so I hesitate to include this here. It is a more intimate pinch-like gesture than the previous options. All we need is a nipple symbol to use.
Saluting face
Credit: Emojipedia
Sir, yes.
