Build-A-Bear wants to help you get laid

We knew they had to be freaks.

A new product line from the mall and children's birthday party mainstay has a description that sounds kind of dirty. "HeartBox" is a series of gift boxes that contain tchotchkes and a bear that aren't meant for kids. The line is described as an "adult gifting brand" by Build-A-Bear.

It can't be us. It sounds like Build-A-Bear is launching a weird line of bear-themed sex products. Right? It's probably only differentiating that these boxes are for adults because the usual customers are children.
They need to know what "adult entertainment" means. When you're in the business of making bears, it's up to you to watch the innuendo.

There are four different themed boxes. One of them is the "Romantic at Heart" box, with marketing copy that encourages you to "Set the Mood." Hello, build-a-bear! Maybe all that wink wink wink wasn't in our heads. The box has well-coordinated items such as gummy bears. Do you have the makings of a night to remember if you put a plush bear in there?

The Bear Cave on the company's website has a bunch of bears meant for adults. I was excited that I was going to see bears with dicks because I had to acknowledge that I was 18 or older to enter the site.
The bear cave has a digital red velvet curtain. It was promising. There is a Screenshot of Build-A-Bear.

The Bear Cave is where collectible-level bears live, which is why they're for grown ups. Don't worry! There are sloths wearing t-shirts that say "nap queen", or partners in the dog house/bear cave who want to deliver the message of "I'm Sorry" on the t-shirt of a toy. The bears in the Bear Cave are ready to have fun. Some bottles of wine and champagne are bearing the name Satan.

Bears are here to party. There is a Screenshot of Build-A-Bear.

Mr. Bear, have you been bad? Credit: Build-A-Bear.

It's clear that these bears are fuck. Maybe, with their help, you can too.