She says that people talk about stress and anxiety. We can do something about stress. She believes that we need to change our mindset around what she sees as one of the greatest causes of suffering today. She says there is no such thing as good stress. People are tired and stressed. They compensate for that by doing a lot of different things. I want to bring us into a balanced state that is healthy.
Lavender is not like a guru. She discovered Vedic mediation in her late-20s after discovering that rest is the funding mechanism for everything she does. She and her American partner, Michael Miller, founded the London and New York meditation centre in 2008. The couple are in their 50s and live with their daughter. They emit a glow that is usually reserved for Gwyneth Paltrow. They have built a following among burnt-out celebrities and stressed execs, with fees ranging from £400 to £2,000, and their unwafty approach appealing to those who would run a business.
There is nothing weird about us. We love what we are doing. Lavender says they are here to help people. It is that simple.
During the Pandemic, subscriptions to apps like Headspace and Calm soared, as meditation has gone mainstream. She had been too busy teaching people to meditate before she wrote Why Meditate? The book is her attempt to correct the misunderstandings surrounding meditation, to distinguish it from all the buzz around it. She wanted to reach a wider audience and do it in a way that is easy to understand.
Coffee and stress hormones help us through the day.
She made it clear from the beginning that this book won't teach you to meditate. The clue is in the title of the book. Learning from a book is hard and the prose style can usually be relied on to send you to sleep. We already know that meditation makes us happier, healthier and nicer to be around, and that broccoli for the brain. The science shows that when we meditate our metabolism goes down more quickly and deeply than in sleep. Long-term meditators have been shown to have a younger biological age than their real one.
She says that most of us are getting through the day on what she calls "excitation chemistry." Life is busy. Over the last few years, there is no question about that. She sees the burden falling heaviest on women, mothers in particular, for whom each day is often a race from the school run to the evening when you find yourself trying to open a bottle of wine with a bit of Lego. People are aware they need a counterbalance to this. I will drink to that.
This is where the technique of vedic meditation comes in, which is similar to the one of transcendental meditation, and which Lavender believes is an antidote to stress. She wonders why Vedic meditation is so powerful. We de-excite so quickly, so efficiently and so deeply, that we can sleep much deeper than in a night's sleep. What is the catch? You can't learn it from a book or an app. She says you wouldn't expect to learn to play the piano from watching videos.
A nurse, a mother of three and a former venture capitalist are some of the students on the most recent course at Lavender. Many people come to mediation. She says that it might be that they are not sleeping, that they want to get off medication, that they are going through a tough time, and everything is upside down. People want change. They want to feel better. They want to do that in a way that is natural. Learning is a life-changing moment. I do not say that lightly. I see it in my students.
Jo, a city lawyer and mother of two young girls, learned to meditate with Lavender in the year 2017. She was recovering from surgery for breast cancer when she lost her father. I was destroyed. She says it would take a few hours to get up and get dressed. She felt better immediately when she started meditating. I got up in the morning. It was amazing. Clara still meditates every day as it makes her feel more in control. A friend of hers has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer.
People think it will be hard work. They say that they can't sit still, that they can't silence their mind, and that they don't have time to meditate. You can! If you are curious and willing to follow instructions, you can do this.
I have taken part in a moonlit meditation in the Austrian Alps, chanted in a love circle on Ibiza, and held my breath in yoga studios all over London. My phone should be on a permanent snooze because I subscribe to so manyMindfulness apps. None of them have gotten stuck. I have the same levels of a small child at a birthday party that I do, but they only end in tears.
I feel lighter, taller and more rested than I have in years.
On a chilly November afternoon in a church in west London, I sit in a room full of strangers wearing masks and scarves, and close my eyes. Each session of the course is no longer than two hours. Miller told us in the free introductory Zoom talk that it opens with a brief ceremony and is very short if you don't like it. Nobody runs to the door. Each of us was called individually into a room and given a meaningless sound and a key to Vedic meditation. We are so far in, we all return to our seats, like children just met Santa.
The instructions are not easy to understand. One of them is not to try. This is one of life's pathological over-triers. If anyone had 40 minutes to spare, they wouldn't be here in the first place. Lavender wants to help people find ways to fit meditation into busy lives. I can do it if the nurse is working 12-hour shifts.
The first thing to say about Vedic mediation is that you don't have to stop thinking. It's like emptying out my handbag if I Purifying my head is a bit like that. The stuff that comes up is pointless and messy. I don't try to. Really hard. I repeat my message over and over. I don't know if I've remembered it right. A few minutes in, my head starts moving in a weird way, like a nodding dog. The bits in my neck and shoulders are no longer there. It must be working. I wonder if the same thing is happening to everyone else, if we are all sitting there and listening to music on headphones. I keep my eyes closed. There is a sort of quiet after that. It's really quiet, like the sensation before you go under the knife. It works! When you poke it, it explodes like a bubble. I leave the church feeling lighter, taller and more rested than I have in years. A friend of mine said that I looked well and that I had begun to glow.
I haven't missed a session yet. My kids are happy because they get 20 minutes of TV before tea when I sneak off for meditation. It has become my secret strength. I get better at not chasing it away because of that nice swimming feeling. By the time you read this, I will be well on my way to enlightenment and a little younger, biologically speaking. If you want to upgrade this year, you might start by doing nothing.
Do Lavender and her partner ever have a moment to think about emptying the bins, or who has been putting in the most hours? Lavender is hesitant. No. She admits that there is a kind of smoothness. We have been meditating for a long time. Is it possible that I don't get angry at some things? Yes. Not in a way that sticks. She wants more people to meditate because she knows the benefits for individuals and the effect it has on families and society. I do what I do.
Why do you meditate? Because it Works is available from guardianbookshop.com. The Londonmeditation Centre fees start at £400 and include a free online introductory talk.
All Rights Reserved © 2024
