The Things No One Tells You About Having A Miscarriage

I had a missed miscarriage. When the baby stopped developing, my body didn't pass it on. After a few days, I insisted on going to get an abortion because I started spotting in week 11. I thought something was wrong.

Here is a chronological look at the events.

There was no heartbeat at the test. I call my midwife, she runs through my options, and we decide to go the medicine route. She prescribes a drug for me. I call my doctor. She will come to my house to give me some herbs to help with the passing.

My husband picks up my medication, but the directions are wrong and I'm in tears. She tells me how to use the medication. I put it in and wait for it to work. It's supposed to start to work within two hours and then you pass the whole thing at some point. It doesn't work. I'm bleeding. Not passing a baby.

I wait to hear from my doctor. I do a lot of research on why the baby doesn't come out. There is evidence that two rounds of the medication can increase its effectiveness. When I hear back from my doctor, I ask about this. She says if the drug doesn't work by Monday, she'll prescribe another round. My husband and I are going to Michigan with my son. I'm bleeding a lot but not passing.

There was no luck on the meds. A doctor prescribes another round. I get it early in the day so that my husband and kid know it's working. He is apologetic and caring when I tell him that I'm trying to pass a miscarriage. He reports that his system does not have the drug for this kind of use, but he has found online some that he can give to me, and that it is a reliable use of the pill. It will be easier to go through the labor without my toddler around. We don't have a family in town to watch him. Leaving to go to Michigan seems simpler than anything else.

There was no luck on the meds. I'm going to Michigan on Wednesday. I work with my doctor to figure out what to do. She can't get me in for a D&C until Thursday. I don't have anyone to take me to the hospital. No one I'm comfortable with. I'm glad to know that I can go to the emergency room, but I don't think it's right. I am trying to figure out what to do. It's possible that the drug will work. I'm bleeding a lot.

I call the OB that I was seeing before the epidemic because the front desk wants to know if I'm pregnant or not. They will need to verify their own information. It's really sad.

I call a place in Michigan to see if I can fly there with my family and I have a place to stay. An angel of a person says, "This is an odd request." Let me see what I can do. I apologize, but I don't mean to make your day a challenge. She said, "You're having a worse day than me." Let me see if I can help. I will be in touch. She said Dr. Sikkenga will squeeze me in before or after work on Thursday or Friday.

I fly to Michigan on Wednesday. I'm worried that I'm going to have a baby on the plane. My therapist says it's okay to tell the flight attendant. I do. She is attentive and caring.

The angel doctor will see me on Thursday. They confirm that there is no heartbeat and there is no evidence that the meds are helping the mass descend. The most appropriate route is D&C. They decided to put me in later that day. I join my family for pictures on Friday. I look pregnant. I bleed for another week.

It took weeks from start to finish. All of it was terrible.

The baby would have been born on January 9th. I don't know how I'll feel, but based on other users' experiences, I'm bracing for a rough day. Maybe it's not over. Doesn't feel finished.