The gardening term has been used more recently when sociologists talk about our social lives. People have been getting rid of friends.
Experts say that we have inadvertently distanced ourselves from a social life because of our homes, borders, and new ways to communicate online. Some say the silver lining is that we have been cured of Fomo, others say it heralds a widening of the already growing loneliness gap. So has everyone Kondoed their friends, and what does this mean for friendship?
Bryan and his wife have two children. They haven't made any new friends in the past two years, and they haven't been in touch with a few of their friends. Nothing to talk about, no social setting, and no parent life commitments. The couple thought they could make new friends when their son started primary school, but they were unable to because of the rolling lockdowns. Bryan doesn't know how to approach his friend. He says that the one that hurts the most is the friendship. I had to stop trying to make social things happen.
Roger Patulny, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Wollongong, says that a lot of people focused on the people that were important to them in their lives.
The difficulty now is adjusting to coming out of that, and reengaging in those more distant connections.
It is possible that Bryan made the cut himself. Bryan doesn't know where to start when it comes to rebuilding his social life. We are caught between re-embracing the office, the gym, the classroom and wanting to resist them all. Efforts need to be made to reach out and rebuild those spaces, as the friendship of those spaces is still not a given.
articular groups were more vulnerable to losing friends.
Over the past two years, Patulny and Marlee have surveyed more than 2,000 Australians to get a picture of their lifestyles and plans after a crisis. It offers a unique glimpse not just about Australians' experience during lockdown but also many months post-lockdown.
Patulny says that some key findings came out of the study. Social networks have become more focused on bonding and less on social capital, which has led to vulnerable groups of people, including singles and those with physical and mental disabilities, being more vulnerable to losing friends. The people who were caught at major crossroads of their life journey were more vulnerable to long-term disconnection and loneliness.
Reggie was unlucky enough to be at a life intersection when the Pandemic hit. She finished year 12 in 2020. Young people have been the most affected by the reduced opportunity to make or cement friends. She says the fear that we have missed out on so much makes her want to be in a million places at one time.
The most vulnerable members of the community have been the hardest hit. Patulny warns that those lacking physical health, social capital and digital interactive skills are at greater risk of loneliness in the post- Covid-19 world.
It's too early to tell if that will grow into an entrenched culture of loneliness or an expanded loneliness gap, but the general signs point to people having fewer friends. Thirty years ago, a third of US adults reported having 10 or more friends. 13% say that.
A study says it takes 50 hours to make a casual friend, and 90 hours to make a good friend, but the unique social dilemmas imposed by the Pandemic could have serious long-term consequences for some people.
Monica spoke to a lot of single people who were worried about being picked to be in a bubble or asked to join a picnic. The dilemma of picking a best friend was once again faced by grown adults because of restrictions on the number of humans interacting. Monica says that they were too afraid to ask anyone else. They have now lost their confidence because of the perceived rejection.
Pat was 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 800-273-3217 They are not having much luck. I didn't feel lonely at all, but as soon as things opened up this year and last, it started up again.
It is cut to the core of people for me.
For many older people cut off from family and friends, the Pandemic gave them a crash course in online communication that could continue to shape how they keep in touch with people. The number of people aged 75 and over using social media and emails doubled according to research from the Australian Communications and Media Authority.
Without the context of the cafe, the office or the gym, people found other ways to rank and order. There were dozens of designated groups, the few friends you pinged with random texts about recipes or dogs, the handful of people you'd communicate with on social media, and the one friend you might actually pick up. Where do those friends rank now?
Asking ourselves what friends are for is a good way to start. Studies show why we need them, including linking them to the health of our hearts. Some clues might be offered by the ancient Greek philosopher. His conception of what constitutes a good life and what it means to be a human was based on his friends.
The philosopher ranked his friends into three different types of friendship: friendship of utility, friendship of pleasure and friendship of the good. The friends of utility are co-workers and classmates. Friends of pleasure include the friends of love affairs, book clubs, and footy teams. The friendship of the good, which are based upon mutual respect, admiration and a strong desire to assist the other person because one recognizes an essential goodness in them, are the most important of all. These top-shelf companions have been with us for the past two years and we want to keep them.
Patulny and Bower's study found that rather than experiencing a wholesale loss in connections and increased loneliness, many instead consolidated networks and shifted from broad, locally-focused bridging networks towards moreselective, online, bonding networks. A shared experience of a traumatic time can solidify existing friends or forge new ones.
During the Pandemic, she made local friends for the first time. The parents of her children's school started spilling their guts on the messaging service after they went into a lock down. The young daughter ofStephanie contracted Covid. They were the first to share information with the school and protect our family. Local friends are a new thing for me and I think it is easier to be open with others and say I am not doing well. It cuts to the core of people for me.
Rose lived alone. It was about vulnerability. When I opened up about what I was going through, I created room for my friends to do the same. Being real with each other brought us closer. I used socials a lot during the lockdowns. I enjoy socializing in person more than before. I swung in the other direction towards extroversion because iso was too lonely. I used to dread throwing parties. I am going to make new friends.
Patulny and Bower warn that we can't forget the cost of potentially increased social and collective loneliness through losing more distant community connections.
Some of the future of friendship will mean giving people the space to go to a party, to not text back, to let friends check in when they are ready, and so on. It will mean jumping at any chance to meet new friends. Cynthia hadn't really met anyone new over the last couple of years like Bryan and his wife. She struck up a conversation with a stranger at the local cafe and liked them immediately. She tried to be cool, but eventually decided to invite them over for a BBQ. It has been a while since I had a new friend crush.
