I Need 100,000 Miles and 50 Nights to Requalify for Elite Status

Today is the most democratic day of the year. Everyone's elite status counter gets reset to zero on January 1 because it's the first day of the year.

I have the same number of elite miles and nights as everyone else.

Most of us are back to zero even though elite statuses were largely extended in 2021, and only a few programs like Delta and Hilton offer rollover credit. We have to start from scratch. Last year doesn't matter when it comes to getting status next year. We hope we can get past the last two years.

That always reminds me of a 19 year old post by IndustrialPatent called "Need 75,000 miles for Platinum Elite", which is below.

You need 75,000 miles for Platinum Elite.
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Questions from an NW newcomer.
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Can you help me? I need 75,000 miles in order to get Platinum Elite status. I want to acquire these miles quickly and for a small amount of money. I prefer not to fly, but when I do I want a seat on America West or British Airways. Thanks!
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The flight I'm on is sold out. Is it possible to call NW and ask for a voucher? Can I get a refund for the original ticket? Will I have to fly?
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Northwest has a World Business Class. Is it better than Southwest?
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Is it possible to claim WorldPerks miles instead of PacMan points?
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Will I save if I use the in-flight phone?
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Should I ask for a voucher or free ticket if the guy who used the bathroom before me did not flush? What if he was the pilot?
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I need to write NW in order to get a comp for my FBI: Federal Breast Inspector status.
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What kind of alcohol does NW serve? Will it work with Valium?
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When will NW replace their DC-9s, DC-10s and B742s? Will they replace them with planes that have MagicFlush?
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Will Jesse Ventura greet me when I disembark at Minneapolis?

Can you help me? I need 75,000 miles in order to be a gold medal winner. I want to acquire these miles quickly and for a small amount of money. I want a first class seat on ANA when I don't fly. Thanks!

Everyone gets a do-over. Delta announced an extension of elite status, club memberships, vouchers and more. Delta is the first U.S. airline to do this, and they have an advantage over other airlines.

April 5, 2020.

"Airlines"

American Airlines is changing the way elite status is earned. Most of your activity in the program will earn you status, not just flying. They have created a system where everything counts and you can earnalty points over the course of a year.

October 26, 2021.

"General"

The partnership between American Airlines and Hyatt offered bonus points and elite status challenges. Both Hyatt and American will have elite status challenges in 2020.

March 9, 2020.

"Airlines"