It's easy to dismiss self-help books. We need serious self-help and we need to take it more seriously. The self-help industry is worth $11 billion. Many of our ideas about ourselves and about the cultures in which we live are reflected by it. The self-help industry seeks to shape the way in which we think, feel and behave, but also provides many of the core metaphors on which we rely to talk about our inner lives. Many of those metaphors, not least that of the mind as a computer, are not helpful.
Critics of self-help believe that it is part of an all-pervasive imperative to maximize efficiency. They think it's a plot to take responsibility for our own wellbeing. They feel that self-help casts our problems as personal and our failures as a result of a lack of resilience, when in fact they are caused by capitalism. The idea of self-improvement has a long and rich history, and this may be true of some self-help. Our need for self-knowledge, for mastery and for transformation are bound up with the wish to improve ourselves. It is an essential part of who we are.
Self-improvement literature can help us to become better people. The improved self is more able to direct attention towards projects, other people and the communities of which we are a part, in an ethical sense.
1. Marcus Aurelius believed that all suffering is in our minds. faulty judgments and unrealistic expectations cause suffering, not external events. Aurelius argues in his meditations that it is pointless to worry about external events. Our evaluations of these events are within our control. All of our mental energy should be directed towards controlling our minds. The key to a happy life is adjusting our expectations, because only a madman looks for figs in winter.
2. The core message of David D Burns's book is still relevant even though it no longer has cutting-edge science underpinning it. It is based on the premise of cognitive behavioural therapy. Feelings are shaped by our thoughts and can be trained to question negative thinking about ourselves and others.
3. Russ Harris wrote The Happiness Trap. Our attempts to control our thoughts can become counter-productive. Acceptance and commitment therapy is explained by Harris. He wants us to accept our feelings and not try to control them, but to let them go. We can commit more energy to value-based action.
The British Museum has an image of Lao Tzu. The World History Archive/British Museum is pictured.
4. The central theme of the Taoist Te Ching is letting go, and it was written in the sixth or fourth century BC. The idea of offering no resistance to the natural order of things is what makes letting go so important. It encourages a form of submission of our will to the forces of nature, by accepting what is and freeing our attachment to our desires and expectations. The Taoist suggests that we can improve ourselves by reverting to a simpler, more authentic and intuitive way of life. Non-action oreffortless action is a key concept. The spiritual state of wo wei is marked by acceptance of what is and the absence of selfish desires.
5. The Power of Now: A Guide Book to Spiritual Enlightenment is a best seller. Most of our thoughts are about the past or the future. Our past gives us an identity, while the future holds the promise of salvation. The present moment is all we have. We need to learn to be present as watchers of our minds, rather than looking at them. We can relearn to live in the now.
6. Altruism is the highest moral and spiritual value according to theologies and wisdom traditions. A recent study shows that altruistic acts benefit the recipient and lead those who perform them to be happier. The French Buddhist monk Ricard says that practicing altruism is the key to our happiness and also to our most pressing social, economic and environmental problems. Altruism allows us to connect the challenges of the economy in the short term, quality of life in the mid-term, and our future environment in the long term.
A replica of Henry David Thoreau's house is located near a pond in Massachusetts. The photograph is by Dukas Presseagentur.
7. The American philosopher Henry David Thoreau lived in a cabin in the woods near the pond in Concord, Massachusetts, where he sought to live simply and deliberately. He came up with the idea of "life cost", which is the perfect antidote to unthinking materialism and the toxic Protestant work ethic. Most of us believe that productivity and success are secular signs of grace, and that it's normal to trade our life time for goods. We should devote as little time as possible to paid work because it is necessary. His goal was not to work more than was necessary to cover his basic living expenses, but to spend his remaining time doing what he loved.
8. According to the psychologist, grit tops talent every time. That is music to the ears of people who like to identify with a tortoise rather than a hare. Our potential is one thing. She writes that what we do with it is quite different. The drive to improve our skills and performance is here. People who are driven by passion are always eager to learn. They learn from their mistakes.
9. The 14th-century poem chronicles the gradual overcoming of the middle-aged and burned-out Dante. He was guided by his mentor to go from Hell to Paradise. The epic can be read as a cautionary Christian tale or as an extended revenge fantasy in which many of Dante's personal enemies get their gruesome come-uppance. We can read it as a story of spiritual growth and self-overcoming. The doubting Dante is re-educated by his encounters in Hell, Purgatory and Heaven. The inhabitants of Hell show him how to live a better life. Dante reached a higher spiritual plane and glimpsed the divine after being purged of his own weaknesses.
10. All forms of self- improvement are similar to a quest narrative or a heroic journey. The narratives show the hero or the hero's journey into the unknown, such as a dark wood, an underground kingdom or the belly of a beast. They have to battle with temptations or obstacles there. After overcoming these challenges, they are ready to share what they have learned to help others. The oldest surviving narrative of this kind tells how the once selfish Mesopotamian king, Gilgamesh, returns from the wilderness with the plant of eternal life. He shares his boon with his people.
