I'm a tabaholic. My days are spent online, skipping from one tab to the next. I open new tabs, fill them with news stories, and then abandon several of them for weeks. I rarely return to complete the task I started, but leave the tabs open with an optimism that's not justified by my track record.
This was the habit I tackled first when I decided to change how I use the internet and my devices. With more concentration and less distraction as my guiding principle, I called a psychologist who wrote extensively about tech use and the author of Restart: Designing a healthy post-Pandemic Life for advice.
She offered a number of helpful suggestions, like setting a timer for social media and removing apps from your phone. Let me tell you what happened when I tried to work in a single tab instead of the 26 open in my browser.
My first task was to tidy up my inbox. I get at least 100 emails a day, but only a few of them are worth thinking about. I bounce back and forth between email and other tabs most days. Social media is a form of reporting for journalists. I sat with my single tab and combed through the messages, feeling focused on the work.
I returned to my other tabs and didn't feel overwhelmed. It was worse than that. I had an urge to click on whichever tab gave me the most satisfaction. At the moment, it was the social media site, where a parade of distraction could deliver fresh insight about the Omicron variant or the beefing between high-profile users. It reminded me of research experiments that give rats doses of an addictive drug, like morphine or cocaine, and the way they will sometimes just keep pressing a lever to get their hit even if it eventually kills them. I realized that my brain didn't organize my choices around priorities but a sensation of instant pleasure.
I couldn't ignore the revelation even if I'd believed I was better than that. I had a problem. I needed to make changes to my brain that would make it more focused and less distracted.
Dodgen-Magee lays out strategies in her book. I found the five most useful to be: introducing pauses before I reach for my phone or opened a new tab, putting down my phone or closing a window after I've accomplished a certain goal, or focusing on a single task rather than trying to juggle multiple things at once.
Dodgen-Magee developed a comprehensive approach for identifying which "habits" are best to live in. She suggests that you assess your values to see if your tech use matches up with the principles you hold dearest. Dodgen-Magee has dozens of values to choose from. Next, compare the two or three habits that dominate your daily life with your cherished values. Someone who prizes curiosity might think they can find answers to their questions online. Dodgen-Magee says that when browsing leads to nothing else, it's become a one-dimensional pursuit, with little in the way of genuine fulfillment. It's a habit to target for change.
Dodgen-Magee suggests using "spotting points." Think of a gymnast who goes tumbling through the air, but keeps her eyes fixed on a single point so she doesn't come crashing down. Dodgen-Magee argues that we need the same kind of reference points to form healthy habits as our devices and internet use can pull us away from the most important things, like time spent with family, personal hobbies, and screenless adventures. A spotting point is a value, goal, or role we use to steady ourselves and correct our worst online impulses.
"I think we've all spotted to being informed and quote-un-quote connected when in reality that doesn't fit most of our values."
Dodgen-Magee says that we've all spotted to being informed and quote-un-quote connected when in reality that doesn't fit most of our values. "When you're trying to spot 18 different true norths, let's actually take a look at your values, and see if they're even doable via connection with your tech."
Dodgen-Magee recommends a step-by-step approach to the values assessment, but I haven't done it yet because I needed to be more focused. It's an exercise worth trying, and I'll be doing something to better reinforce the tech habits I've adopted.
Pauses to build in.
It might be the hardest skill to cultivate because of pausing before grabbing a device or clicking a link. Dodgen-Magee says it's necessary for the brain to reacclimate to a less frenzied existence. When there's no pause and you follow an impulse to check out the clothing sale that just landed in your inbox, or to respond to the last five texts in a group thread, the brain will repeat that pattern again. Dodgen-Magee suggests that I do something to interrupt the habit of moving from one click to the next.
She likes to set a timer for two minutes when you feel like using a device or getting online. Dodgen-Magee writes in Restart that the brain has an opportunity to develop new expertise if it is used between the reflexes.
I like the idea of expertise. My brain is able to master this, for example, waiting before I check to see if the recently renovated house in my neighborhood sold, and for how much. Home sale prices are one of my curiosities, but I don't need to reach for my phone on a dog walk to know how much someone paid. If I really need to know, I can just set a time once a week to check, instead of making it a daily, random, time-wasting habit.
HALT is an acronym used in 12-step recovery programs and Dodgen-Magee suggests adapting it to introduce pauses during tech use. If you're tempted to scroll, click, browse, or game, try to first check your feelings in HALT. If that is the case, address them with a snack, meditation, or other activity. It's easier to stop using tech and keep your values in mind.
Turn away from the screen.
There is something about the platform that draws me in. I like to read other people's exchanges, find new experts, and draw insights about what's on people's minds. Sometimes I feel like I have a metal detector in my hands, scanning the ground for a bit of treasure. When I've finished writing a story, checking my email, or another task, I usually use the social media platform of my choice. I waste a lot of time scrolling, then lose sight of what I want to accomplish next, because opening that window is like a reward.
I appreciated Dodgen-Magee's suggestion to turn away from my screen once I've finished a task. This is a kind of pause, but in a different direction. By setting my phone down after I reply to a text message, I give my brain another chance to direct itself with purpose and meaning. Dodgen-Magee suggests that I make it an activity that meshes with my values and goals, since it is up to me. I could do physical therapy or leave a note on my daughter's desk.
You can change your environment.
It is easier to lose touch with your body when you spend a long time online. Body posture is shaky, breathing is shortening. She suggests that you add something to your desk or wherever you use your phone to bring yourself back into your physical being. This could be something similar. I collected the clothing buttons from members of my Facebook Buy Nothing Group. When I was a child, I used to plunge my arm into a giant bin of buttons at the fabric store where my mother was shopping, and it was very relaxing. I dunk my hand in the buttons when I'm stressed out or trying to turn away from my screen to restore calm. It's simpler to practice pausing or turning away from the screen because of that.
Unit ask.
My tech use looked like an impossible-to-finish maze prior to Dodgen-Magee's recommendations. I would start at my inbox, take a detour to Slack, then back to my inbox, and then text a friend about the contents of the story, and then forget about it. My personal tech use was chaotic, filled with lots of scrolling, texting, weather-checking, online cart-filling, and podcast listening.
Dodgen-Magee reminded me that multitasking is not a thing. The brain can't do it. Dodgen-Magee says that a better name for multitasking would be task-switching. I tricked myself into thinking otherwise as a parent, spouse, sister, daughter, friend, and employee. I stocked my cart while cooking dinner. I meditated even though I knew better. I was texting my parents pictures of their grandchild while they were listening to a show.
I'm consciously making a decision to do one thing at a time. I'm not always successful, but it's liberating. My brain is less overwhelmed. I've tried to stay present for real-time chats with friends and not toggling between windows and tasks while waiting for the other person to respond. It's more gratifying than I anticipated.
Silence and distance your devices.
It's a suggestion you've heard a lot, but it's important: Spend a lot of time without your phone or device. You need quiet and stillness to reorient the brain. I'm experimenting with a feature in the new mobile operating system called Focus Mode, which allows you to schedule silenced notifications during the workday and at night. I've tried putting my phone in a pouch. Sometimes the thought that I'm missing something tugs at me during the silence. Nothing happened more often than not.
I would like to be comfortable with nothing happening. I am thankful that my life is not too crazy. I need to keep teaching my brain.
