I'm going to introduce you to a little girl named Miriam. She is five years old and attends a primary school. She is described as a confident, outgoing child by the adults who know her. She wants to try everything and has a hugely adventurous spirit. She is scared of the world around her because of the Pandemic.
Getting to sleep is hard for her. Especially on Sundays. She doesn't want to leave her mother so coming into school is hard. She gets angry and clings to her mom. Sometimes she gives herself an answer that is not safe, like "Am I safe enough to do this on my own?" The school-based counsellor who works with her says that her wings have been clipped. She is not the only one.
Since Covid-19 first swept the globe, causing schools to close and countries to be locked down, the focus has been on older children and teenagers who have seen their lives turned upside down, their exams canceled.
What about our youngest children, who have missed school without knowing what they are missing, and should not have a care in the world?
Many will have benefited from the extra time and attention they received from their parents, even if they have missed some important milestones, such as the birthday parties, play dates and sleepovers. Many of them have been cared for by anxious, over stretched parents who are struggling with their own demons.
How are they doing now? What will it mean for them in the future? The new Omicron variant is threatening to derail our journey back to a more normal life.
Some five-year-olds have separation anxiety when they return to school. A model poses for a picture.
Dozens of responses from parents of five-year-olds were elicited by a Guardian call-out. Some people said their children were doing well. One said it was brilliant and resilient. One person said that he was very unfazed. Many more people were anxious about their children, such as a business analyst named Bella in the south-west of England. At the beginning of the year, her son appeared to cope well with the lock down. He was at home and he was fine. He missed some of his friends, but I think he was more comfortable being with me.
I knew he had an anxiety-based tummy ache.
He struggled to play his musical instruments as loudly as possible as he was unable to give his full attention to her because of the lock down. He would wash his hands and apply alcohol gel until his skin was red and raw. He has asthma and has had to go to the hospital multiple times for infections and have to undergo repeated tests.
The first one was okay. Every one has been worse since then. It makes him so distraught that we don't think we will be able to get him to do another.
He is starting to worry about spreading infections to others. He told me this week that he had a big tummy ache. He has lost family to Covid, and we have several vulnerable family members, so he does know the impact of spreading it, but it is so sad that a five-year-old should feel so anxious about something he should never have to worry about.
The mum is worried. Freya is an only child. We used to go to all sorts of groups with her. She stopped eating when England went into lock down.
She is much happier now that she is back at school. There are still scars. She is very concerned about germs and infections and washes her hands a lot. She didn't sleep all night when one of her friends vomited in front of her.
She is struggling to engage with the academic side of school. She doesn't look forward to planned events anymore because she suspects that they may be canceled because of the virus.
He shouldn't be afraid of dying when he's young.
It was a long time before Covid. She knows and remembers the Covid world. It causes her stress and anxiety, and I worry that she will carry these with her for the rest of her life.
Anna's son is struggling. My little boy was very nervous about leaving the house during the first lock down. He wanted to be inside despite the warm and sunny weather. Boris was diagnosed with hives after he came out in a rash when he was told it was time to go back to school.
He tells us that he is scared when we go to school. He can't watch Disney films that have death in them because he's so scared of his parents and grandparents dying.
The Guardian got in touch with a number of parents. One mother said her child was wet at school despite being dry for months, another child has facial and vocal tics, and another child is grinding their teeth. There is a lot of anxiety about germs. Children make vaccines with Duplo and when they play shops, anyone not wearing a mask is ordered to leave.
There is a lot of anxiety about germs. RF is a photograph of a model.
Children not wanting to let go of their parents, less capacity to focus, are some of the things teachers have reported about separation anxiety. The five-year-olds are not like five-year-olds, said a teacher. They are emotionally and socially three or four. Instructions have to be repeated. All tasks have to be supported. They are tired, sad and overwhelmed.
Some of the youngest children in Simon Kidwell's school were not able to communicate with each other and had no idea how to play together. Some children have had a great time during the lock down because they have more adult attention, but we have also seen children who have been isolated during the lock down and they found it difficult. Our youngest children were playing alone. They were quiet.
They have had experiences of not being safe in the world.
He says that things have improved since the start of the autumn term, but that the youngest children are the most affected. Some parents are worried about their children going to school. Our attendance this week is very low. We would normally be at 98%.
Place2Be works with more than 300 primary and all-through schools, offering one-to-one and group counseling. One counsellor said that they are seeing an increase in separation anxieties, mood swings, attention difficulties, worries and sadness.
At the beginning of the year there was a lot of enthusiasm about them. There were disagreements. They weren't ready to learn. It is much calmer now. They have had early experiences of disruption, uncertainty and not being a safe place. All of those things will have an impact.
Younger children have not had the same effect as older children. The Co-Space study, a longitudinal survey of parents and caregivers in the UK, has been running since the fifth day of the UK's first national lockdown in March 2020. The study led by Dr Polly Waite from the University of Oxford found that the mental health of children aged four to 10 was different to that of children aged 11 to 16.
The 11- to 16-year-olds with their own phones were able to interact with their peers. The younger ones who would normally be running around in the playground with their friends were isolated from their peer group, with parents who were feeling stressed during that period.
Most parents weren't their best during the Pandemic.
Dr. Polly Waite.
The Co-Space study found that more than 60 percent of parents did not feel they could meet their children's needs. Low-income families and single-adult households with children with special educational needs were more likely to have high parental stress. Most parents weren't their best parenting selves during the Pandemic.
How worried should parents of young children be? Many children who had anxiety and separation difficulties as a result of Covid have already adjusted and settled well in school according to Prof. Hill. Some will be vulnerable to stress and anxiety when facing adverse events. This pattern of behavior can continue for some time, but within a supportive environment and with adults teaching the child the right strategies, they will develop a better ability to deal with triggering events. We can recover from life events given the right support.
We met the adventurous but terrified little soul at the beginning of our relationship, and to some extent, it bears this out. She is being supported by Place2Be and her teachers are working hard to help her. She still struggles to separate from her mother, and Sunday nights are the worst time to sleep. She still complains about tummy pains and headaches and sometimes she wants to stay at home.
She is learning to cope. She keeps her mother's picture on her belt until home time. She can look at it whenever she wants, and she can put it away when she doesn't need to. It is helping her to deal with the fear that came with her five-year-old life.
Some names have been changed.
