Is there a better representation of American society than the championship Saturday halftime Dr Pepper Tuition contest? Hey kids, there is a chance to throw footballs in a can for the chance to not graduate in debt.
Did you not make enough in? Better luck next time. The number is 888-738-5526 for Sallie Mae.
It is a nice gesture and a good cause. The football-themed competition is an interesting way to decide who gets the $100K, but since it is the way we have, here is a ranking of what seems to be the best strategy. Are these kids allowed to train? I would have my giant Dr Pepper set up in the garage.
The shot is a pop-a-shot.
A college student shocked the world today with his pop-a-shot technique, which involves a baseketball-style release with a smooth wrist snap from your right hand, and while you're mid-shot, you're already reaching into the giant bucket for the next ball. It is effective, efficient, and once you have your wrist movement down, it is all about repetition. If you can figure out the best trajectory and get that muscle memory down, that hundred grand is all you need.
The Chest Pass is for Chests.
This has been the go-to for Dr Pepper Tuition challengers for a long time. This allows for double-armed strength to reach the giant Dr Pepper can and the chest-forward aim that takes out a lot of the nuances of the one-hand throw, with little to no background in sports. It is a bit on the slow side, as you have to fully pivot each time to grab a football out of the bucket and then again to throw, but it is a relatively effective method for many college students hoping to dig themselves out of student debt.
The quarterback throws.
I wouldn't recommend this one unless you were a starting quarterback or pitcher on your high school team, but I bet that would be a great strategy. The speed behind the throws would cut down mid-throw reach time, and if you still have the arm you did when you were 16 years old, the accuracy should be perfect. This makes me wonder if the candidates are checked out before they are hired to make sure they are only average or below average at athletic stuff. I am going to fight for the rights of kids who aren't good enough to play in college and still have to pay tuition. Let them throw!
The Dunk.
Obviously, it's illegal. Can you imagine if someone did that? It would be hilarious.
