Why did anyone think an ex-Lion would help?



It can be a lot like that friend you have who makes terrible romantic choices. No matter how many times you tell them that they can't fix that person or save them, they still try. When a romantic prospect turns out to be what they have always been, it ends in tears. You can still watch them cry into their beer.

The Rams and their fans gave up the boat to get Matthew Stafford out of Detroit. It is easy to see that every player on the Honolulu Blue of the Lions needs to save. They will unveil buried treasure if they are given the right care, shown the right love, and shown what is possible outside of Ford Field.

Barry and Calvin Johnson retired because they were broken by being a Lion. There is no salvation. They cannot be good to anyone else. There is no partnership that can wash away scars and psychoses. It's best to steal themselves away from everyone. No more pain.

There are worse places for the Rams to be than 7-4, two wins behind first-place Arizona. There are still two teams on the schedule for L.A. The Vikings are capable of falling into a trash can, kicking their legs in the air and being blinded. Maybe 10 or 11 wins are still possible. Maybe a spot in the playoffs. The wild-card spots seem to be treated like vomit in the middle of a party by the rest of the NFC.

Stafford is what this is. It is empty calories. The numbers look good, because he always seems to have to have to fuck it. Sometimes he can do that just enough to win the game, which eliminates the urge to ask why he was in that hole in the first place.

He got three playoff berths out of the Lions, which is a Cortez Gold amount. He only played well in one of them, though he didn't win any of them. Only twice in 12 seasons did they win more than 10 games. The conclusion was always that no one could carry them out of the morass. The next team says that they were hanging out in the wrong crowd.

It is also Stafford. The most you can hope for is not good enough to break your heart. Look at the slate this year. Getting his ass handed to him by the Niners or Packers until it was too late, after he had been beaten up by the remedial class of the league. He could put together a couple of catch-up drives to make the numbers look better. The numbers look good with Stafford. They never say anything.

He had to throw the ball 50 times a game in Detroit because they only had a few guide dogs. It is not completely false. You keep making excuses for Stafford until you realize the Jenga tower is leaning over your head.

There is a shell with Stafford. The width and depth are related. It looks like a quarterback that can take a team. It looks good in the right light. It has no depth if you get up close. It is a cutout. Push on it with a couple of fingers.

He is a Lion. It doesn't come off no matter how many dates and weekends you put together.

Nash burned.

Nashville SC was the team that bored everyone to death in their MLS Eastern Conference semifinal game against Philadelphia Union and then proceeded to miss all of their penalties. All four. They were the first MLS team to miss four penalties.

This is the last one by Walker Zimmerman, which landed near Trenton.

I will tell you that the other four were not better. Hany Mukhtar and Anibal Godoy crept the first two down the middle in hopes that the Union keeper wouldn't wake up and that they would be able to score. When the keeper can catch it, it is a shit penalty. Alex Muyl sent his after some aircraft.

Don't spit it if you are going to. Be Nashville and dive into the tank.