Today in N ews C ant Wait T o ear Tucker Carlson R. epeat A.t A Much Louder Volume Tomorrow news. Big Bird, a Sesame Street resident, has received the COVID-19 vaccination.
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Famous B ird (category : Big) announced today's news via his official Twitter account. He informed his Follow-That-Birders, that although his wing may feel a little sore, he is happy that the vaccine will give his body an extra protective boost that keeps him and others healthy.
This confidential medical information, which was brought to you in apparent defiance to the letters H,I, P, and A, was made public as part of a CNN Town Hall to explain the COVID-19 vaccines for kids who are now (at age 5-12) eligible to receive the Pfizer version. Big Bird spoke with CNN's Erica Hill, and Dr. Sanjay Gopta. They reminded Big Bird that he has received numerous vaccinations throughout his life, presumably to reflect the standard set for children in the U.S. at an early age. We don't know which vaccines are given to a large, simple bird.
Big Birds jab is a fairly standard version of Sesame street's mission statement. It aims to help people understand the more frightening aspects of being a giant bird or living person. Big Bird was not the only Street-er who received the treatment this weekend. Rosita, the monster-person Rosita, also received her first dose.
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This is a fascinating fact because it splits the American psyche in two. On one side, you have Joe Rogan/Aaron Rodgers people, who ingest horse medicine to increase their immunity. On the other hand, there's a large foam bird that gives actual medical advice to the nation's youth. Our land is full of amazing contrasts.
Oh! For the love of God, don't read the replies to Big Birds messages on Twitter. That was obvious, right? It's downright grim.
