Many people feel uncomfortable talking to strangers and end up feeling awkward. What if that's not the case? According to a new study, people have a common desire to talk in depth with others.
This means that you shouldn't assume that you have to keep it small talk when you next meet someone new. It's possible that the person you are talking to will be open to sharing some of their more intimate parts with you.
Twelve experiments were conducted with more than 1,800 people to examine our attitudes to contacts and conversations. Participants included students and business executives as well as volunteers who had been recruited online.
According to Nicholas Epley, a behavioral scientist at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, "Connecting with people in meaningful ways tends t make people happier. Yet people seem reluctant to engage deeper and more meaningful conversations."
"This struck us at an interesting social paradox: If connecting with others in deep, meaningful ways increases well being, then why don't people do it more often in everyday life?"
According to Epley and his coworkers, the short answer is "miscalibrated expectation". Research showed that deep conversations with strangers led to greater feelings connectedness and enjoyment than was initially anticipated.
Participants were asked to either come up with conversation topics or to answer questions. There were many topics to choose from, including the deepest and most mundane. To "What are your thoughts about the weather today?" ".
All the experiments showed that conversations with strangers were more enjoyable and less awkward than participants expected. Deep conversations resulted in more connectedness than chats on less important topics.
Conversation partners were more concerned about each other's personal disclosures than they expected. This study also examined chats with friends and family, which showed that expectations of care and interest are higher in these conversations.
Epley says that people believed that sharing something important or meaningful about themselves would result in silence and blank stares. However, in reality, Epley found the opposite.
Human beings are social creatures and will reciprocate when conversing with others. You are more likely to have a meaningful and valuable conversation if you share something important and meaningful.
This means that the next time you sit next to someone on the bus, a deep conversation may be more rewarding than what you expect.
This is just a generalization based on less than 2000 people. You might still get the cold shoulders from someone on the bus. However, it seems that we are more afraid of meaningful and deep conversations as humans than we should be.
Evidence suggests that deeper conversations can lead to greater happiness, well-being, and optimism. This could be a benefit to both you and the person who is talking to you.
Epley says, "As the pandemic subsides and we all get back into talking to each other again," and that being aware of others' love for meaningful conversation might help you spend less time on small talk and have more pleasant interactions.
The journal Journal of Personality and Social Psychology published the research.
