Last update on. From the section FA Cup
Steve Cunningham, Curzon Ashton boss, with his daughter Maizie (and son Zak)
BBC Action Line provides support and information for anyone who has been affected by the issues discussed in this article.
Steve Cunningham knew inside that he shouldn't have been near the Glossop North End away dressing room.
Caroline, his wife, had given birth to their stillborn daughter external-link two days earlier.
The couple held their baby girl for an hour and took photos of her wrapped in blankets. They then told her how much they loved her.
Cunningham used his position as a manager of football to cope with the emotional trauma.
After saying goodbye to his daughter on Thursday, he was giving a team talk to his players from the Lancashire non-league Club Colne external link on Saturday before a match against Glossop in ninth tier English football.
Cunningham, Curzon Ashton's manager, said that "I was trying not to stop moving as though nothing had ever happened." BBC Sport interviewed Cunningham.
Cunningham, 41 talks about his traumatic experience and how it influenced him to create awareness for men's mental health as Curzon prepares to face Cleethorpes Town in the FA Cup third qualifying round.
He says, "I'm not a specialist or counsellor." "If my story can make just 1% of a difference in someone's life, then I would rather help."
"I used football to release my stress"
Cunningham described the 20 February 2014 loss of his daughter as the most difficult moment in his life.
He says, "We had many issues with miscarriages in the past." "Because they were all in the early stages, I never let them get to me.
"This was something different. It was hard to see your baby like this and to not be able to help her.
Stillbirth refers to a baby who is stillborn after having been in the womb for 24 weeks. It occurs in approximately one in 200 births in England.
It is called a miscarriage, or late foetal death, if the baby dies within 24 weeks.
Cunningham, who was "all over the place" with his emotions, was eager to get into a routine.
He says, "I used football to release my stress."
"I can still remember sitting in the Glossop away changing room trying to give a team talk. It just hit me.
"The players were walking on eggshells. They couldn't think of anything to say. But, I had to have football that moment.
"I should have been home, looking back. I should have been grieving.
"My wife was devastated and heartbroken. She had her dad and mum with her. "What good was it to me sitting there with both of you crying?" I was astonished.
"I didn’t want to be wallowing. I wanted to be with people. It was my attempt to keep it all out, now that I think about it.
Curzon Ashton has won five of their seven National League North opening games in 2021-22 under Steve Cunningham
"I left the meeting in tears"
Cunningham said that he was "horrible" because he kept his emotions in check while coping with the loss.
His outlook on life changed in August 2019.
He has been Colne's manager since 2013. He had four spells as a player and was invited to speak to a local support group for men with mental illness.
He says, "I went to discuss being a football manger, being a father, and coping strategies when it comes to stress management."
Men's Den Colne external link offers a safe place for them to express their feelings.
Cunningham said, "I didn’t fully understand what was happening to me," and also spoke about his loss of his daughter.
It showed me that there were many people suffering behind closed doors. Each chap was allowed to share their week, including the good and the bad.
"Their stories made me cry, but it also changed my perception of mental health issues."
Cunningham doesn't forget about his daughter. But he isn't afraid to admit his feelings.
He says, "She is very much our thoughts and in the hearts."
Steve Cunningham and Zak Cunningham
"You are not the only one"
Cunningham and his spouse have welcomed Maizie, six-year-old, to their family. Maizie is the little sister of Zak, 10-years old, who plays at Burnley Academy.
Curzon boss Zak and Maizie performed famous goal celebrations in their backyard during lockdown in April 2020.
The video contains a serious message about mental health for men.
Cunningham is the National League North Curzon Ashton External-Link Coordinator since June 2020. He says, "Being someone who lost a child, somebody who experienced redundancy has tried to deliver money my family which brings its stresses .... a lot of people rely on you and sometimes it's not quite right.
"Too many men have too much pride to admit they need help.
If you feel down, please reach out to someone. Spread the word, you're not alone.
BBC Action Line provides support and information for anyone who has been affected by the issues discussed in this article.
