Editor's Note: This week's epic battle between Vanderbilt and UConn is being hosted by a trio of Power 5 programs.
Inspirational thoughts for the week
There have been many times in my life.
I have been wondering why.
Yet, I still believed that we would always survive.
But, I'm not so certain.
There's a reason you're still here.
What more can I offer? Is there anything else?
Do you want to wait for a sign? Your miracle?
Fight for your rights
It's done!
Do not make any mistakes where you are
It's done!
Your back is to the corner
It's done!
Don't let yourself be fooled!
It's done!
Kenny Loggins, "This Is it"
We are located at the Bottom 10 Headquarters in an abandoned apartment just above the Fantastic Sams, where the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers get mullets trimmed, bleached and trimmed. Like all mammals, we live our lives according to the clock and the calendar.
Weddings. Funerals. The birth of our children. UConn visiting Vanderbilt.
The rest of college football's world spent the summer reading preseason college football magazines. They started using a highlighter pen for marking the names of Oregon-Ohio State and Clemson–Georgia. We had already marked this date using a thick, black permanent marker. A pad containing yellow and red "SIGN HERE" arrows was also used. This allowed us to pull off all cease-and-desist letters Randy Edsall sent over the last decade.
It is now. It is now. The Huskies will finally fly to Music City. The manager of Tootsie's was informed by someone that Broadway will soon hear blues songs not heard since Hank Williams Sr.'s death.
Here are the 2021 Week 4 rankings. Apologies to Jay Cutler, Steve Harvey and Anthony Sherman.
1. UMess (0-4).
Are we going to replace the UConn intro with a long, complex introduction about UConn? Yes, indeed, we are. Our reasoning is as loud as the anguish emanating from South Carolina's shores on Saturday night. The Minutemen were beaten 53-3 by Coastal Carolina at the Myrtle Beach Boardwalk. They also face the Toledo Bottle Rockets this weekend, who were in last week's Bottom 10, and in two weeks travel to Florida State, which is again in the Top 10. The Minutemen will host the team that they have just displaced in this spot. But we don't need to travel far to find them.
2. 2.
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The Huskies took defeat from Wyoming. They held a six point lead over undefeated Wyoming in the fourth quarter. However, they fell behind by eight at the end of the quarter. With four seconds left, they scored to make it two to the trail. After scoring with two seconds remaining, the Huskies failed to convert the two-point conversion. The Huskies lost 24-22. Randy Edsall had planned a postgame conference to discuss the loss. However, it was cancelled after the "Mean Girls' guy shouted, "He doesn’t even go here!"
3. Semi-No's for Florida State (0-4)
After trailing Louisville 24 to 24, and rallying to win 31-23, coach Mike Norvell took advantage of his Monday media availability to give an emotional speech about the first FSU team that started 0-4 since 1974. This was two seasons before Bobby Bowden was hired. Manny Diaz, Miami's coach, was giving a almost simultaneous talk from the podium in Coral Gables. The Canes are currently 2-2. The game will be known as the Dude Drinking Coffee in Front Of The Fire Gif Bowl when FSU and Miami meet on Nov. 13.
4. By the Time I Get to Arizona (0-4)
To find out when the last two Power 5 teams were ranked in Bottom 5, we pulled out the Bottom 10 media guide, but grape Fanta was all over it and we couldn’t get the pages unglued. We should also ban the use of the term Power if you are a Power 5 Team that is in the Top 10. This would make you a Cower 5 Team. A Sour 5 team. A Dour Five team?
5. Clempson (2-2).
After losing to NC State, the Tigers are now in the Coveted Fifth Spot. This is the result of a bitter rivalry that has raged for seven decades between two of the most passionate and competitive football programs in the history of the ACC. It is called the Textile Bowl. Clemson will play Big East defectors Boston College Syracuse, Pitt, and Syracuse over the next three weeks. They call them the Carpetbagger Bowls in Upstate South Carolina.
6. unLv (0-4)
Fresno State was caught by the Fightin' Tarks in the middle a heavy post-UCLA win hangover. They nearly won the game, leading half the way through the fourth quarter before falling 38-30. Fresno State was unable to cover the 30-point spread after that loss. Maybe that's why, when Fresno State's team plane touched down in Las Vegas, Tony Two Toes drove the bus. He said that he wanted to speak with the passengers.
7. Ohio Not State (0-4)
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The Bobcats were faced with Northworstern from the Bottom 10 Waiting List, who won a 35-6 victory. FPI computers have indicated that Ohio is the 63% favorite in the Pillow Fight Undercard matchup against Akron-monious from Bottom 10. This is despite Ohio being 1-3 with one win over Bryant Air Conditioning. Ohio State Not Ohio just lost in a nail-biter of 59-7. Our Bottom 10 computer states that Akron is the favorite in that game. However, our computer, a Commodore 64, was found at a garage sales.
8. Vanderbilt Commode Doors (1-3)
Van-duh built's loss against Georgia was so devastating that our headline on the story was "The box score doesn’t show how badly Georgia Bulldogs beat Vanderbilt Commodores." This week's game against UConn will be televised by ESPNU at 7:35 p.m. ET, and will be re-aired on Screambox, an all-horror streaming service, until midnight ET.
Play 1:47 Auburn rallies against Georgia State Auburn returns late to stop the Georgia State Panthers upset.
9. Georgia Southern Not State (1-3).
After a loss to Louisiana, the Eagles dropped to 1-3. Chad Lunsford was fired as coach and a senior nose-titan was suspended. Video showed him standing on top of the bus and watching the crowd throw beer to him. He then shotgunned the beer. Next week will mark the 93rd anniversary the release of "Statesboro Blues" the iconic record by Blind Willie McTell.
10. Whew Mexico State (1-3)
The then-Bottom-10 Wait Listed Other Aggies hosted then-10th-ranked How? Why? Yuh Warriors lost 20 points in the 2021 Pillow Fight IV. They will be rematching at Hawaii in a rare home-and-home series. It is said that revenge is best served cold. But even if revenge doesn't come your way, it might be worth having it delivered to you at a Honolulu beach barbecue.
Waiting List: #MACtion East (plus Baller State), Kansas Nayhawks and Warshington State.
