Fans of voice actors and performers have long complained about Hollywood's casting decisions for big-budget animated films. It's been called the Zendaya-is-Meechee problem. The tendency to cast cartoon characters with the most popular names, without any consideration of how much work they have put into developing their voices over a wide range of careers.
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All this leads to the disorienting and bewildering news that Chris Pratt now speaks for Mario. Yes, that Mario. The pipe-adjacent Italian stereotype with nipples. Nintendo announced the news today during its Nintendo Direct infodump. They revealed the cast of Illuminations' already-cursed Super Mario Bros. movie and increased the sense of doom. Don't worry, they brought in Mario creator Shigeru MYAMAmoto to assure that Mario will speak a lot in the movie. You'll certainly hear classic Pratt lines like "Can you get a load off this dinosaur jerk?" or "I did magic mushrooms at Central Park before, but these idiots are absurd!"
The cast of Mario's movie seems to be entirely made up of actors who need to pay for a new swimming pool. Pratt will be joined in the role of Princess Peach by Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day and Jack Black as Koopa King Bowser. Black gets a pass, at the very least. Between Psychonauts 2 and Brutal Legend, he's been a voice actor in video games. We are curious if Seth Rogen is playing Donkey Kong. Seth Rogen will be playing Donkey Kong. He presumably teams up with Fred Armisen to play Cranky Kong. Cranky Kong is an old Donkey Kong. Keegan-Michael Key: Toad! No words can mean everything anymore!
Nintendo quickly assured fans that Charles Martinet, the voice actor who has been bringing Mario to life for 25-years, would be part of the movie. He will also appear in a variety cameo roles. This will all be handled by Illumination, who built the Minions' house. It will ensure that the movie set for December 21, 2022 is as annoying as possible. Mario, our friend from the past, might say: "Can you get enough of these jerks?"
