Chris Pratt is not the Mario we need right now, but he's apparently the one we deserve

Nintendo announced the voice cast for Super Mario animated movie at its Directs event. This was in addition to a host of other news.
Let's just be honest, Seth Rogen is the perfect Donkey Kong.

Chris Pratt is Mario, however

Chris Pratt. As Mario.

Chris PRATT As Mario.

It is strange that the beloved Parks and Rec schlub has become a fully-posable action figure. This suggests that Universal and Nintendo might be trying to replicate the energy and unexpected success of The Lego Movie in which Pratt portrayed the all-man lead. Matthew Fogel also wrote the script for The Lego Movie's sequel, which was less enjoyable.

This is a strange choice, because it feels like a cynical joke. It was a total Hollywood move to cast the generically-strapped guy from Jurassic Park as this pint size tradesman.

This joke was so popular that it was actually made in 2020.

Mario was canonically Japanese in 2020, but not Italian (yes really), Pratt's non Italianness was a sticking point.

It's worth noting that the late great Bob Hoskins, who played the plucky plumber in the soon-to-be-retconned-as-beloved 1993 live-action adaptation, is also neither Italian or Japanese, but that likely had no bearing on why the film was a critical and commercial flop. According to IMDb, Charlie Day, who plays Mario's younger brother Luigi, has one Italian grandparent. Representation!

Although the official title of the film has yet to be confirmed, it will be available in cinemas on December 21, 2022.