Let's assume, dear reader that you are healthy, young, and able to live for 80 years. It doesn't sound so bad, does it? It's easy to break it down into days. You get 29,200. This is so large that our brains stop trying to understand it. Divide 80 years into 20 weeks and you'll get 4,171. We are now at a point that seems uncomfortably small even for the longest-lived. (The current record holder at 118 years old has only lived for 6,200 more weeks. It's still a blink in a cosmic eye.
Oliver Burkeman, a psychologist, writes in his new book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, that "When I made the 4,000 week calculation, I felt queasy". Soon, he began to pester friends to figure out how many weeks an average person could expect to live. One person gave a six-digit number. Burkeman had to inform her that 310,000 weeks is the approximate length of human civilization.
This is the bad news. The good news is that you will be able to take a huge weight off your shoulders if it's followed through to its logical conclusion. The unimportant things tend to disappear when you are aware of the time limitations and more time is available for the most fulfilling aspects of your life.
Productivity addict
Burkeman's book is a rebuke from a time management nerd. This makes it so captivating. Burkeman was a long-time fan of the Pomodoro Technique and Inbox Zero. His desk is crowded with books such as Master Your Time and Master Your Life, along with felt-tip pens and Moleskines. He is a fan of Getting Things Done, the task system created by productivity guru David Allen, which swept Silicon Valley in 2000s. He loves creating endless productivity systems to add to it.
Burkeman, like me, found that his to-do lists kept him busy and stressed but never got to the long-term goals which were important to him. It was a constant push to the future and not living the life that was meant to be lived. I sent multiple screenshots to friends of this book, with the caption "too real" and "I feel personally attacked."
"Nobody has ever managed to achieve a work-life balance in human history."
Burkeman states, "Time management as we all know has failed miserably." Productivity is a trap. Being more efficient only makes you more rushed. Clearing the decks will make them fill up quicker. "Work-life balance has never been achieved by anyone in human history."
How can we live if our time management systems fill our lives with work and don't allow us to achieve our dreams? Here is some of my most memorable advice from Four Thousand Weeks.
1. It is not important to feel uncomfortable.
Although it may seem morbid to think about how many weeks you have left or the possibility that you might not finish this week, it is important. It's not only helpful, it's also clarifying and more effective than the alternatives. Burkeman, aided by psychologists and philosophers, argues that subconsciously we are often dwelling on it subconsciously and it holds it back in ways we seldom understand.
Why is it so hard to pay attention to the things that matter: Your art, your personal project, and the hard work required to improve your relationships? Why is it so tempting to waste time on the internet when there are more important things you have to do? Burkeman, a former Twitter addict himself, believes that social media allows us to feel "unconstrained" in an area outside of our time. While you may not feel happy scrolling through curated news feeds that make your friends lives perfect or news feeds making the world seem doomed, at least it's something that allows you to be relatively comfortable.
It doesn't work to ban yourself from social media. There are many ways to distract yourself. Instead, understand the root cause.
Burkeman writes that "Whenever we succumb, we're trying to flee from a painful encounter of our finitude," Burkeman says. "An experience that feels particularly uncomfortable because the task before us is one you value so highly."
Because it is all about accepting our limitations, finitude is a wonderful word. Your art, projects, relationships: All exist in time. They will all be imperfect because of their finite nature. There will never be enough time to do them all. The outcome will not be your control. They will never live up to your vision. Accept the imperfections, accept the discomfort, and keep running towards the important stuff regardless of how much you feel you might fail.
2. Waste time well.
Understanding your finitude means understanding that you cannot spend all of your time on the essential stuff. We all need breaks. And we must stop using the logic of the maximizer when it comes to these breaks. You've probably overscheduled your weekends or raced to get every item on your vacation wish list done. You're not enjoying the moment, but packing them for future you. A happier, more fulfilled you can enjoy all the photos you took. But that's because the future you is too busy preparing for what lies ahead to notice what you did.
This is known as "idleness avoidance" by psychologists. It seems to have emerged alongside modern capitalism. Burkeman says he contracted it during years of meditation classes and retreats, with the vague goal of one day reaching a state where he is "permanently calm". I can't believe that I am guilty of creating meditation contests and embarking on a long hiking challenge to try and hack my dream time.
What's the solution? How can you create moments of boredom, or even idleness? It's something humans have done for hundreds of years. Most religions have a set of days that are prohibited from work, such as the Shabbat and Sabbath. On the secular side, many cultures have long lists with feast days, which emphasize celebrating the present moment.
As a solution, the idea of a tech Shabbat or Screenless Sunday seems to be growing in popularity. It is possible to set a time for the end of the workday and stick with it. This would be a better option than letting the work day bleed into your evening, as many people do in an ever-on world. Burkeman also points out that it is nearly impossible to impose rules on yourself if you don't have a support group doing the same thing. We are most at our best when we live in rhythm with others. Bring your friends and family along to enforced idleness.
3. Make your to-do list tiny.
Burkeman does not recommend throwing away your productivity tools. It's okay to have a to-do checklist. As David Allen, GTD guru and author says, having a list allows you to think once rather than having your brain constantly reminding you of what you need to do next. Instead, use the list to become more aware of how you procrastinate. No matter what you do you will always be procrastinating.
Four Thousand Weeks provides a variety of strategies to help you procrastinate less. One big project could be your focus, or one large project for work. Then let everything else go. You could also "fail on an acyclical basis". This means that you agree beforehand to only do the minimum amount of exercise during the month you are canvassing for elections. Then, you can go back to the gym in the next month. Instead of trying to achieve the perfect work-life balance you are "consciously unbalanced."
My favorite idea is Burkeman's suggestion of two to-do list: one large and one small. The open list is all you can do; the closed list is just 10 things you can achieve today. You can't transfer items from the open to closed lists until you have completed ticking off an item or are waiting for someone else to respond. This strategy is what I use in Todoist. Every day, I ensure that the "Today” section contains no more than 10 items. It has already made me feel calmer and less dependent on digital distractions.
4. 4. Research your relationships.
It is unreasonably frustrating when people you love aren't acting the way you expect. They act like unpredictable human beings who are constantly changing! Burkeman calls Tom Hobson, a pre-school education expert, to help him make the right mental shift.
Ask yourself what autonomous person might do next. Don't get attached to any particular outcome. It will end badly. Instead of being attached to a particular outcome, cultivate curiosity. This approach can be applied to any crisis, regardless of its severity: It is possible to wonder rather than hope for radical acceptance.
5. Keep in mind your cosmic insignificance
It's not just about the 4,000-week thing. Burkeman makes it a point to show us how small we are in the greater scheme of things throughout his book. Burkeman writes that we live our lives trying to make a difference in the future. But even Steve Jobs, who invented this phrase, didn't leave such a mark. The iPhone may be remembered by more generations than you or me, but if we look at it from a cosmic perspective [say, 310,000 weeks], it will be forgotten just like everything else."
This attitude isn't meant to be negative or depressing. It is liberating. This attitude takes your ego out the equation. Your novel is just as important as the work of today's best novelists. You might even have fun adding it into the vanishing canon. While your children won't be able to afford a Michelin-starred chef, the nutritious meals you make for them will make a significant impact on their lives.
Let go of that constant voice telling us to do the most important thing, be fully aware of our limitations, our inability even to complete a small percentage of our tasks, and realize that we don't have control over our time or the outcomes. Then, you can finally relax and enjoy the ride. We paradoxically find it easier, with the lowest expectations, to be proud of our achievements for as many weeks remaining.
