You can say what you like about the rule of six, but it was simple to keep up with everyone. We might now be able to catch up with old acquaintances that we haven't seen in over a year. However, our brains may be having trouble keeping up with new people. Here are 10 ways to prime your mind.
Be confident that you'll remember
Rebecca Lockwood, a positive psychology trainer and neurolinguistic programming (NLP), says that it is important to start with an attitude you can remember. I used to be the person who would say "I'm sorry, I'm really bad with names" but then I realized that I was constantly communicating to myself to say: This is impossible.
Moreover, telling someone that they won't be able to remember their name implies that you don't think they are important. Lockwood says, "I'm really good at remembering names." It's that simple.
Recall is more important than rapport
As you are trying to remember information from books, focus on the questions that you care about. Photograph by d3sign/Getty Images
Lockwood says that the ease with which people are remembered is generally a function of how close you feel to them.
Lockwood says that while it is fine to think: I want to recall things about so and so. But what will help me do that? Helping them feel at ease. You'll be more likely to remember because there will be more energy and excitement in the conversation.
During the conversation, say their name
Politicans are well-versed in the art of using someone's name to communicate with them. This is done to make them feel comfortable and commit their name to memory. There is a danger that you might overdo it. Lockwood says that naming someone aloud is a subtle way to reinforce the connection between you, the person you are speaking to, and it can also be used to reiterate the name to yourself. This will likely help you retain your memories.
Ask the questions you are interested in knowing the answers to
Memory master ... Mark Channon explains priming.
Mark Channon is a brain performance coach and former Grand Master of Memory. He teaches priming, which involves the effect of one stimulus on the response to another stimulus. This allows you to focus your attention without thinking. He says that the technique is simple. You just need to be able to ask good questions. The brain will pay attention to information it finds interesting or important if it believes it is.
It is possible to start the conversation by asking questions ahead of time about what the other person might like or what you would like to learn about them. This will help you be more attentive during the conversation. Channon says this is a good way to remember what you have read in books. Think about what this book could teach you.
Play word games
Make literary connections to a Green Eggs and Ham balloon-float at a New York parade. Photograph by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images
You can use a rhyme, pun or story to help you remember someone's name. You could also try to tie their first name to an aspect of their appearance or their surname.
Fiona Dalziel is a Girlguiding leader and trainer. She tries to connect their names with something they do or where they met. Dalziel's mind might see Sarah Smith as an editor. Sam Green could be translated as "I don't like Green eggs and Sam", which is the Dr Seuss book. Dalziel says that the play on words and stories is really helpful.
Imagine this
Visuals can be used to help someone who works in IT imagine them typing on the computer. Photograph by Ezra Bailey/Getty Images
As you might find it easier than names to remember faces, picturing something activates memory in a different way from simply saying it.
Channon suggests that you imagine a Mark writing all over your face with a marker pen. This is a great way to cement biographical details. Imagine them working in IT. If they have two children, you can see them jumping up and dancing on the computer.
Your memory palace is full
Sherlock's memory game Benedict Cumberbatch. Photograph: Robert Viglasky/BBC/PA
Channon also teaches a more advanced technique, the creation of a memory palace like Sherlock Holmes. You can choose an image that represents what you want to recall, and then place it in a particular spot, such as on a piece of furniture in a familiar room. Mentally pin the image, such as Mark typing at a computer while Mark is talking to you (Marks arm).
Channon says that it is a mistake to tell others what you are imagining. The combination of a picture and a place to store it helps you create a mental map.
You can create a system that you can return to
David is a star... build a mental library with associated words and names. Photograph by Kilito Chan/Getty Images
Channon's mental library of names has been built over 20 years. You build up a vocabulary over time. Michelle is always a rocket, David is always a star. Although it may seem odd, it is possible to remember people until one knows them.
When getting to know new students, teachers often use similar methods. Harriet Morris was a former teacher. She would draw inspiration from celebrities or any other images she could get from the names of her pupils: The stranger, it is better. Maribelle is the one I see of Maribelle marrying a bell, and her being the register. I was able to learn 150 names in just two weeks each September.
Be content with what you don't remember
When you are asked to recall something, the worst thing that you can do is try. Under pressure, the brain's prefrontal cortex (which deals with memory, reasoning, and focus) starts to shut down. This is why you may not remember the name or detail you were looking for. Your retention rate is higher when you are calm. Although it sounds counterproductive, once you are comfortable with forgetting, it is much easier to remember.
It is best to be truthful if you're caught forgetting someone's name. Everyone forgets, says Channon. It's worse for me because I teach this stuff. I respond by saying: I have lost your names. Tell me again what it is and Ill either remember it or make a joke out of it. Were not robots.
