Tesla Bot Takes Tech Demos to Their Logical Conclusion

The robot was not real. It was either very real or not, depending on your belief that realness is closely linked to physiology. Or whether you think the whole reality is a simulation. The robot was actually a humanoid robot cosplayed as a robot.
The robot shuffled onto the stage at Teslas AI Day yesterday afternoon. It was demonstrating autonomous car features and slides titled Multi Scale Feature Pyramid Fusion. Elon Musk, Tesla's founder and chief executive officer, revealed that Tesla was currently working on the robot. Because Musk was there, people tuned in. They laughed at the robot. They were not amused.

The robot began to dance after initially appearing stiff-armed, stiff-muscled and arthritic. This fan fiction was quickly put to rest. It was impossible for a human to do the Charleston with such ease. As the robot danced, the fabric of the robot's all-white jumpsuit with its mistakenly stylish boat neck creased. The robot human was having fun. Too much fun. (Is the robot Grimes? An editor asked. Musk shoved them off the stage.

Musk said that the robot would be real and that he was not making any of his usual titters. We will probably see a prototype of the robot sometime next year, which basically looks like this. Musk was teasing us. Musk was playing a joke on us. The not-yet a-robot was a stunt to get people to talk about Tesla AI Day. The joke was subtle: Musk's future assurance implied that the humanoid robotic robot was not yet real. Even if it was, the robot will be real.

Musk stated that this will be very profound. Musk said that this will be very profound. It is, at its foundation, labor.

The screenface, the AI chip, eight cameras and 40 electromechanical actuators will all be used to display information about the robot. Will it ever make it into space? We don't know. Musk's bizarre demo revealed the truth about many tech demos. They are a ruse. A storyboarded vision for the future is held together with digital duct tape.

This is something that anyone who has been to the annual CES Las Vegas knows. The CES is a suspended reality. There are rolling displays, cleaning robots and intelligent exoskeletons. Self-driving cars that work well, but seldom sell. Magic Leap released a 2016 video clip of a virtual whale swimming through a gymnasium floor to the cheers of children standing nearby. It was also a ruse. This was also a ruse.

The first Tesla electric Cybertruck demo was in November 2019. The release of the vehicle has been delayed to 2022.

Some of these products do ship. This is not what tech companies are trying to sell you in demos. However, they're punctual and so would a friend trying set you up for a date.

They are selling the amazing future and the bridge that will cross an uncanny valley. If you are open to what they're saying, you will be able to see the tech that will enhance your humanity. You would only get the joke. Although the dancing robot demo was not real, it might one day be. Although the robot human was real, they might not be in our future.

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