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At first, a lot of folks started reading the aliens-with-a-breeding-kink porn book currently going viral on TikTok as a joke.
After a few sex scenes, we realized that Ice Planet Barbarians was not laughing anymore. Between devouring the first book in one day and then moving on to the next 22-book erotica collection, the ironic laughter became a primal moan.
Credit: COURTESTY of RUBY DIXON. COVER ART BY KATI WILD
Before the pearl-clutching starts, let's just be real: You are at least a little curious. You clicked on the article, didn’t you?
Although it was published in 2015, Ruby Dixon's adult sci-fi romance wasn't released until May 2021. It was unexpected. BookTok, a social media platform that caters to bookishes, took the extraterrestrial thirst trap to the top of several Kindle bestsellers lists. It was accompanied by memes and videos from fans who forced their friends and significant others into reading it. The book comes with Kindle Unlimited for free so there was nothing to lose. Even if you didn't like it, you would still get the #BookTok jokes about Ice Planet Barbarians.
With 16.6 billion views and counting, #BookTok is not a new force in the publishing industry. This dedicated subgroup has helped multiple romance novels, such as A Court of Thorns and Roses to see unprecedented sales increases in the years following their release. You can find a deeper analysis of the phenomenon in Slate's ICYMI podcast episode. It was what alerted me.
Even though I'm a proud kinkster who has written specifically about why it's okay to be horny to the Shape of Water fishmonster, I was willing to ignore this thirsty internet trend because "just not my thing." Ice Planet Barbarians seemed too far for me, as I owe my middle school sexual awakening to the smutty Harry Potter fanfiction series and the 18+ Anita Blake Vampire Hunter books series. In which the protagonist is cursed by a disease that requires her have sex every few minutes,
For your sake, dear reader, I decided to check if #IcePlanetBarbarians was worth the hype of 44.3million TikTok views. I called all the local bookstores in my LA area, blushing as I asked them if they had Ice Planet Barbarians. I then quickly assured them that it was "for work" as well as "a TikTok idea" and they would reply with a confused, "No." One TikTok in California from a Barnes & Noble made it clear that even big chain stores were hesitant to stock the book despite being requested by "everyone" and their mother.
Although it may seem strange, or even repellible, the idea of having sex with an alien is far more fulfilling, loving, consent-conscious, and satisfying than any sex I have had with IRL males. This is as much a testimony to Dixon as it does an indictment of Earth's heterosexual males.
Georgie, a 22 year-old Floridian girl, is abducted at night along with 12 other girls by an intergalactic crew of sex traffickers. It's unclear what the girls are being sold for. The women face a new set of frightening unknowns when the cargo spaceship in which they are held crashes into an icy planet with two suns.
The ice planet, however, isn't as bad as the cargo ship.
He is submissive and breedable. A lovable extraterrestrial Stage Five Clinger.
It's true that there is a lack of food, shelter and clothing, as well as constant blizzards, nightmare-fuelling creatures trying to eat them, but it's not great. However, Georgie ventures into the woods to seek help only to be captured by a hunter's trap. Things quickly get very horny. She is released by one of the blue-horned, tall and sexy aliens. He does not want to eat Georgie alive but only wants to protect her from any danger.
We find out later that Vektal, an alien virile himbo, wants nothing more than to please, defend, and mate for interspecies couple bliss. He is submissive and easily bred, and a loving extraterrestrial Stage Five Clinger who will do anything Georgie asks to keep her safe and happy. Did I mention that his Sakh alien species come with schlongs for clitoral stimulation? This basically makes their anatomy the rabbit vibrator for humanoid-cocks.
This sounds like a better way to end an ordeal than many of my Tinder dates.
You should not feel ashamed or strange for reading a book like this. I am aware of every social convention, from literary snobbery and kink-shame, to literary snobbery and misogynistic disregard to everything women love. Ice Planet Barbarians was one the most delightful, sweet, funny and arousing gifts that I have received in recent months.
This is not just about the fantastical and wildly sexually titillating sex scenes. In fanfiction parlance, this is the Porn With Some Plot type of smut. Dixon's plots can be quite compelling on their own. However, the addition of romance, humor (and even porn) expands the reach of a genre that often excludes more feminine sensibilities and interests.
I found myself laughing almost as much as I was lusting. The POV splits and switches between the lovers' perspectives. This creates a funny juxtaposition between an average Florida girl and a serious extraterrestrial barbarian who is constantly swooning about how many children he would like to have with her.
Their relationship is actually quite wholesome and positive, despite the fact that it sounds a bit sexy. A Florida girl and an alien barbarian can find enough common ground that they can make each other cum multiple time, then perhaps two people from the same country can also find common ground (LOL who am i kidding). This is a less plausible fantasy.
Ice Planet Barbarians, on the whole, is a testimony to how true the idea of "don’t knock it until you’ve tried it” really is in regards to sexual desire. I had never considered that in order to have a sexual relationship with an alien consensually, both the parties would need to explore and learn each other's foreign anatomy and "mating" habits.
It's incredibly sweet to see a 20-year-old woman teach a hunter alien how to kiss. Georgie and Vektal spend time touching each other non-sexually. They also learn from the other what parts and types of sensations they enjoy the most (kinda like mindful sex). This is a far better response than what you get from the average human male. He often treats the vagina as a foreign anatomy and doesn't want to learn how to please.
Ice Planet Barbarians may seem strange or outlandish, but what it really explores is a normal female desire: To have sex with a committed partner who is emotionally attuned and more interested in your pleasure than theirs. This sexual dynamic should not feel strange or unbelievable, but it is for many earthlings who have vaginas.
Vektal isn’t just sexy for his tall stature. He’s also strong, protective, and biologically obsessed by Georgie’s pussy. He is also a man who was not raised in a culture where vaginas are considered disgusting abominations.
It is quite bafflingly absurd that mainstream culture can make such a distinction between "normal" and "weird" erotica.
One TikTok even semi-ironically suggests a take on Ice Planet Barbarians to be subversive feminist literature, stating that the alien men "exist only to the sexual pleasures of women." It's not clear if the gender-binary treatment of women treating men as dehumanized sexual objects is considered "feminist". It's still valid. We rarely have the opportunity to see many situations where our pleasure comes first. This series is not interested in any literary category that is high-falutin. CNN was told by Dixon's literary agent that it is literally a scifi book for female eyes. It doesn't matter if it isn't highbrow literature. You can have a rageful conversation with your husband about patriarchy, then go to a fantasy world and still be intelligent and complex enough.
The Ice Planet Barbarians approach to breeding does focus on creating a fantasy universe in which the female anatomy can be highly valued as a life-giving, beautiful miracle. This is a nice change from the IRL patriarchy's devaluation, disregard, and stigmatization of female genitalia, and pregnancy.
The fact that Ice Planet Barbarians have made us so scandalized speaks volumes about our culture more than the author or the readers who love it. It's quite bizarre to consider the absurdity of mainstream culture's distinction between "normal" and "weird" erotica.
Please explain to me why it is acceptable for pop culture to jump to the fantasy of a 150 year-old vampire watching his underage love interest fall asleep (at first without her consent), in a relationship where his insatiable desire to slit her throat, drink her blood, and kill her until she dies. I don't mean to shame Twilight lovers, who are also members of another healthy TikTok subcommunity. It's not just hypocritical to fantasize about having sex in a consent-conscious alien with dual stimulation cock. This is different from fantasizing with a sparkly vampire virgin who leaves his partner with bruises after a coitus.
What I love most about Ice Planet Barbarians, and the bizarre TikTok community, is how unaffected everyone is by justifying their pleasure to skeptical and judgmental people.
High Brow Literary Feminist Morals are not necessary for the series. There is inherent value in a thing that brings so much joy and harmless enjoyment to many women (though there are plenty who aren’t women). The book is at times almost impossible to approve of by literary snobs, the usual (often male-oriented) sci-fi genre lovers, or bookstore owners who grudgingly stock it and quietly turn their noses at anyone who purchases it.
BookTok is a community who doesn't feel guilty about its pleasures. Ice Planet Barbarians is still a title you should be able to get your hands on. One, I will hold my head high when I go back to Barnes & Noble to ask for the second book featuring the sexy blue alien cover.
