A recent survey revealed that 58 percent of employees over 1,600 reported feeling anxious about having difficult conversations about returning home. Close to a third (29%) stated they have a preference for working remotely and are worried about their manager or company's reaction. It is not surprising that many employees felt distress about addressing such sensitive topics as flexibility, safety, vaccinations and flexibility. These three principles can be used to reduce anxiety and to voice concerns about going back to work in person.Many employees are worried about returning to work in the United States as more companies bring their workers back. A recent survey of 1,697 employees revealed that many are anxious about coming back to work. They also worry about how they will communicate with their managers and coworkers about their work preferences and anxiety. Nearly a third of employees (29%) stated that they are anxious about these important but awkward conversations. A majority (58%) of respondents said that they worry about their coworkers and managers.These employees aren't surprised that their drivers are anxious about these conversations. These are just a few of our responses:Two of my direct reports aren't going to be vaccinated. They also oppose wearing masks. They won't be allowed to return to campus. However, I understand that we need to have ongoing discussions about this matter. This is something I don't look forward to.My coworker isn't currently vaccinated. She said she plans to come to work without a mask. Do you think it is appropriate to talk about such matters?Although I don't like having to tell anyone if I have had my vaccines, I do not believe that this should be an issue. I am entitled to my own opinions and have my personal opinion on the subject.Our executives are promoting flexibility and compassion, but they are forcing middle managers to relay messages not in line with these values. For example, forcing everyone to work on-site.My boss said we could continue working from home. However, I heard her tell someone that those with hustle want to go back to work, so they can make valuable contacts and get more done.It is not surprising that many people felt distress when addressing such charged topics. These conversations can be high-stakes, polarizing opinions, and strong emotions. If they are not handled well, or at all, it will impact relationships and results. If you view this anxiety as an opportunity to prepare, it can be a positive thing. You can confidently and respectfully express your concerns. Then, you can use these anxiety-reducing techniques to prepare for those conversations.Know your prioritiesAnxiety, and its full blossomed form fear, is a reaction to the perceived threat to a treasured value. If you insist on working remotely, it could put your job at risk. You might also be marginalized or worse if your boss refuses to wear masks. When we refuse to recognize that these risks require us to make value trade-offs, we unwittingly perpetuate anxiety. Anxiety decreases when we decide which is more important. You must decide if flexibility is more important than job security, or if a good working relationship with your boss is better than a higher risk of injury.You risk turning your anxiety into resentment if you don't make these priorities decisions. Instead of taking responsibility for the world in which you live, you will start to feel guilty about the lack of the world you desire. You had a friend boss and safety. You might not be able achieve both in the new world. Resentment breeds from denying the reality of your situation.Acceptance of reality is key to reducing anxiety when you face the inevitable trade-offs that life presents. While there may be creative ways of protecting both values and transcending the trade-offs, peace begins with recognizing the importance of prioritizing.Be prepared for risksUnnecessarily increasing our anxiety is the first reason we use entitlement. Neglect is when we don't take responsibility for the consequences of not prioritizing our priorities. If you think the vaccine is dangerous, and your company insists that you get it, you will live in constant fear of confrontation. When you plan for the consequences of your company's policies being violated, the dread will dissipate in a significant way. If you believe that vaccination is your primary value, it's your responsibility to find an employer who shares your beliefs or to work with your employer to create a plan.If we fail to take responsibility for our values, then our guilt can manifest as blame towards others. Because we are unwilling to recognize our entitlements and neglect, we find ourselves in crucial conversations that turn hot. It could be that you are ignoring conflicts within yourself and becoming anxious about others. Although you knew that you had to take responsibility for your priorities and needs, you did not. You blame others when you see the inevitable results. You live in anticipation of this difficult confrontation for the majority of your waking hours. This is not because you are unable to meet unreasonable demands from others but because you refuse to take responsibility for your own needs. You can reduce anxiety by planning for the potential risks associated with the priorities that you have chosen.Get ready for the start of the conversationUncertainty about the beginning of difficult conversations is a major cause of anxiety. A plan for the opening exchange is a good idea. It will help us relax in the first 30 seconds. It is not difficult to build it. My colleagues and me have spent decades trying to figure out how to make this dangerous half-minute safer.The first task is not solving the problem; it's creating psychological safety. When others feel secure with you, they will be able to engage in constructive disagreements. Even the smallest disagreements can quickly become unsolvable if they feel unsafe. To help others feel psychologically secure, you can reassure them that 1) you care about their concerns and 2) they are respected. Validating the values they bring to the discussion is the best way to do this.If you are uncomfortable that your boss, who is unmasked and not vaccinated, is attending in-person meetings with you, don't demand they wear a mask. Instead, validate their values and ask them questions about the reasons for their decision. I know that you have strong opinions about vaccines and masks. I also respect your decision-making rights. I must make my own decisions. I don't know if your needs are similar to mine. Let's talk about it.If your boss gets defensive or combative during a conversation, remember that it is psychological safety and not unresolved issues. Reaffirm your respect and validate their values to restore safety. Remember that neither validation nor respect are a sign of agreement. We are not suggesting that you pretend to agree with their opinions, but that they have the right to make their own decisions and live as they choose without you being involved in any sort of judgment.You can prepare for the dangerous half-minute by creating a sketched script. This will provide psychological safety and set the stage for healthy exchanges.*Recognizing the importance of making value trade-offs and taking precautions to minimize anxiety when returning to work will help you reduce your anxiety. You'll be able to look forward with joy to seeing the people you love and enjoy again.
