Name: Dean BoxallAustralia is my home countryYou are well-known for your coaching of swimmers, demonstration celebrations, and being a personalityHe might be a jerk. On Sunday night, NBC viewers were treated with a thrilling women's 400m freestyle race. The event featured American swimmer Katie Ledeckythe current Olympic champion and 20-year-old Australian phenom Ariarne Tippmus. Although Ledecky won the 2016 event gold, setting a new world record, Titmus came in second place in the last legs to win the race by 0.67 seconds. Titmus' post-race celebration was quiet. There was no shouting, no splashing and no riding the lane lines as though they were horses. She smiled wide and held her forehead high, possibly disbelieving at what she'd done or perhaps because she was upset that her coach, Dean Boxall was doing the same thing.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementDean Boxall was excited for Ariarne Tippmus. I was really, really excited.It will be a sweet memory for every staffer at sweet facilities. pic.twitter.com/673dYGRQH1 Blair Henley (@BlairHenley) July 26, 2021It is easy to see that Titmus coach may be a jerk. Or at least someone you would avoid if you saw him in your street. Olympic Jerk Watch, Inc. strives for fairness and accuracy. Boxall's celebration should be broken down into its jerk components before we pass judgment.AdvertisementBoxall began screaming at Boxall, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The internet and sporting events are the two main outlets for unhinged emoting in society. It is fine to scream at a swim meet. There's cheering on your favorite swimmer and screaming like a banshee, making everyone around you extremely uncomfortable.AdvertisementBoxalls' celebrations from my home made me feel very uncomfortable. I have since privately pledged to avoid any indoor swimming pools for fear of being beaten up by maniacal Australians while yelling about how closes gold medals are. You jerk, this is a way to discourage couch potato from having a full-body workout and still having fun in the water.AdvertisementScreaming is a topic I'm bringing up, but it is worth noting that there is a pandemic involving a respiratory disease that can be spread through screaming. Because organizers don't want people cheering, cheering and blowing their smoke everywhere, the Olympic stadia have been devoid of fans this Olympic year. Here's Dean BoxallI don't know what his vaccination status was, but he drank enough spittle to feed 100 men while wearing a mask that looked like a chin-strap. This meant that most of his spittle went directly onto the American coach, who was standing right in front. It was almost like a dog marking its territory. It is also worth noting Boxall was the only person in the arena wearing his mask as a chin strap. You don't know what kind of people think the rules do not apply to them? You know who?AdvertisementAdvertisementThe Olympics staffer, who was trying to stop any dry-humping or wanton violence, was completely terrorized by him.Boxall began flailing about in an aggressive manner and pumping his arms. He was walking down the concourse like he was trying to repel crows with the Electric Slide. Excitability does not necessarily indicate jerkiness. In a different context, Boxall's actions would have been perfectly appropriate and charming if he was a sports fan performing on the Jumbotron as Celebration during a TV timeout. Boxall became irritable when he began dry-humping the clear wall that separated the concourse and the seats. It is quite rude to dry-hump inanimate objects in public. Boxall would have done this while on a Jumbotron. That would have been the cue for the board operator to quickly cut to a shot with a cute child and then start preparing his resignation letter.AdvertisementYou might be wondering how he got to the wall. This is how he got there. Boxall took his mask off as if to throw him, and he darted past the metal barricade that divided his concourse from the other concourse marked Athlete Sit B. This terrified the Olympics staffer, who was trying to stop any dry-humping. Boxall made it look like she was about to have a heart attack when he rushed into her section and waved his arms around. He also screamed loudly and mimicked having sex against a wall. He was eventually removed from the section by her, though I'm not sure she gets enough money to be able to repel manic Australian trespassers. You jerk, this is going to make her life even more difficult!AdvertisementAdvertisementBoxall's jerky hair would be a mistake. As swimmers are required to reduce friction between the water and themselves, every swim coach I've encountered has a very tightly-cropped haircut. Boxall's long, flowing hair makes him appear less like a swim coach and more like an antagonist in a 1980s film about summer camp. Rowdy Gaines, NBC's commentator noted that Boxall reminded him of Doc Brown in the Back to the Future films. Yes, Doc Brown was a jerk!He might not be a jerk. A coach getting excited when his athlete wins gold or dethrones the world record holder is not enough to prove that he is a jerk. Titmus' victory was an incredible accomplishment! Ledecky won the freestyle 400m in 2016. She also smoked her competition and finished almost five seconds ahead. It must have been a tremendous feeling to watch someone you've worked with lose to an all-time great. Who is to say it's not better to let your emotions flow rather than storing them in a box for fear of violating decorum? It would be more awkward to pretend it's all over and that you have been there before.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementBoxalls athletes seem like they like him. This is because everyone wants the opportunity to work for an energetic coach who is legitimately proud of your achievements. In my time, I've seen a lot of jerky coaches. They would boast endlessly about their Navy days and make you run laps if you didn't have your shirt tucked in. Boxall looks like the kind of guy who would make you run laps if you had your shirt tucked in. If all else is equal, would you rather have Boxall coach you than the cool guy with long hair?AdvertisementYou could also be referring to Boxall's Olympics staffer, who was secretly thrilled to see something happen in her section. It must be boring waiting all day for someone to take Athlete Seat A. Boxall's antics may have been the highlight of her Olympics. It was a memory she will treasure forever. Maybe, now that she has shown her ability to protect Athlete B, she may be promoted to Athlete A.Long hair is not necessarily jerky. My hair is long, sometimes. I would wear it long all the time. However, I have learned that once my hair reaches a certain length, my family will tell me I look creepy and complain until it is cut. This is more of a me thing that Dean Boxall, but it is still a problem. The point is that men shouldn't be judged for having shoulder-length hair. It isnt fair to laugh at them and claim that they are like Viaduct Strangler.AdvertisementThe Back to the Future series, as well as all the 80s summer camp movies, were both great and we should be grateful for any opportunity to cherish a past era of mid-budget American cinema. Thank you, Dean Boxall.Jerk score. Dean Boxall gets 1.5 points for style. It isn't very attractive to wear your protective helmet like a chin-strap indoors during a possible superspreader event. Technical merit: 2/3, because a true jerk wouldn't have sat in Athlete Seat B until security arrived. 2 out of 3 in execution because you don't have to spit at the opposing coach, when you can also give him a wetwillie. One out of three for execution. And one out of one in the category: Did he dry hump on a wall in front of cameras and unsuspecting observers? 6.5 out 10 for Dean Boxall. Next
