When I was trying to figure out how to breastfeed, the first time I can remember anyone telling me to not overthink it was when I was struggling to find the right formula. My friend advised me to not overthink it and just follow the flow.It is not my style to just go with the flow. Understanding what I am doing is essential. Then I can think through every possible outcome. It's like having a mind map. And I plan. People often ask me if they could have predicted XYZ. I usually reply that I could. I realized that I am an overthinker for most people, but I am a thinker for others. I think.It doesn't take a genius for me to realize that my excessive thinking, as with most things, started in childhood. My childhood was chaotic, unpredictable, and loving. Every night, dinner was served at the same table and was always delicious. Physically, my father and mother were always there when they said they would. However, I grew up in a home where emotions were not discussed but bottled up. Sometimes they would explode in unpredictable ways, or there would be silence for wrongdoing that I couldn't understand.Sometimes, I answer questions before my children and they think that I have superpowers.I was able observe people's movements, hear their speech, and recognize their tone. All of this became second nature for me. My children and my husband believe that I am a mind reader. I've simply observed what has been said and what has happened, and I have a better idea of what they might say or do. Sometimes I can answer their questions before they ask them and they believe I have superpowers.Perhaps it was because I joined the military straight out of high school. You had to think twice about the simple task, as everything was a trap. You can build a model bridge with these 120 bricks. Count the bricks first, as they may not always give you the exact number. Remember to always check the basics. A person would approach you to tell you what happened to them while you were working on another topic.Never let your guard down, that was the message. My examining officer was stunned when I gave a detailed description of a person that was so precise, he had the page turned over to take notes. It helped that I had a huge crush on the person I was describing, and spent hours staring at him. However, I do sometimes jot down descriptions of people in my head just in case they are needed.Overthinking is a vital part of my job as a Guardians agony aunt. One time, I was subject to a complaint and was asked to give my work to the editors. As I knew there was a problem, I prepared pages of notes and the timing of the calls. Then came the checking. The editor said, "Gosh, I see."This can be exhausting. It is. It was amazing how much I thought. I wasn't aware of this until someone asked me about my thoughts. As a child, I was a natural daydreamer and I was very quiet. It was different thoughts for each second. I went through the things I had been thinking about for the last minute. Their expressions of horror said it all. What had they been thinking about for the past 60 seconds? They replied with soap.Because burnout is always possible, I have to be very careful to set boundaries and allow myself to take time off. It is important that I don't end up doing other people's thinking/memory storage, such as a remote hard drive. There are always plus and minus sides to every emotion and way of working. Anxiety can result from overthinking. Susanna Abse is a psychoanalyst. I wanted to know what that distinction was.She said that there is a difference between persevering and reflecting. She said there is a difference between persevering and reflecting. Anxiety can be manifested by ruminating in a manner that doesn't lead anywhere.There is a difference between being preoccupied and powerless and being overthinking that leads to something being put down. The latter isn't great, and if you are experiencing anxiety (as it has happened to me), you might need to examine what is causing your anxiety. It can be difficult to find the root cause of anxiety, even if you're a perfectionist. It's easy to see the problem spiraling down from its root. I know when I have hit it because I feel angry or defensive. This can be done by you or a friend. They will help you find the root cause. To find the root cause, another useful question is "What needs to be done to make me feel better?" Surprisingly, when I'm around people who overthink, it is easy to relax. I let them think for me. This causes me to be overloaded when I'm with underthinkers, as I feel unsafe.Avoid traveling with people who are too logical. You will be able to do their thinking for them.My number one tip: If you're an overthinker, don't spend too much time with people who are less than you. You will find yourself thinking for others as well as for yourself. I prefer to travel alone, and I will try my best to avoid traveling with underthinkers. Otherwise I feel like I'm on a school trip.Overthinking can lead to anxiety and make the overthinker hyperactive. You've tried all the planning and thinking, but something is still wrong. You feel that you should think more, but in reality, all you need is to stop and take a step back. Sometimes like this, I need to stop and think about myself. CBT was a great tool for me in coping.Overthinking is something I enjoy, it's immensely enriching. It is who I am so I accept what it brings to me. It is better to accept it than to fight it. These tips can be helpful if things go wrong.1) Yoga. It takes me about 10 minutes to get into the practice. Yes, yoga used to be something I resented. Overthinkers are often seen doing one-legged positions. They are difficult to do at first but they can help you calm your mind. Alternate nostril breathing is beneficial because it balances the brain's emotional and logical sides.2) Never try to clear your head. It is not possible. Try challenging your brain with a soft-focus method, such as counting in threes to 100. If you aren't driving, staring out the window of a car or train can be incredibly relaxing and helps me to clear my mind.3) Repetitive tasks can be your friend. This is why running is a good friend for overthinkers. Knitting is another. Fairly mindless (for God's sake, avoid Fair Isle and four needle knitting), but very absorbing. The same goes for sewing. I can also sew if I don't have anything.4) If you feel overwhelmed, reduce your focus to five minutes. Then ask yourself what you need right now. Grounding can also be very useful. For example, feeling the ground under your feet, or asking yourself, "What can I hear right here?" To get you out of your busy mind and into the world, What can I see?5) Adrenaline can be released by overthinking so it is important to find something that requires minimal planning. Not bungee jumping. That would be too much for an overthinker.Cold showers are my last tip. They never fail to reset me. Begin slowly, but you can build up to 2 to 3 minutes using less than 15C water. Although cold showers can have many other psychological and health benefits, they are my favorite. Heaven.Annalisa's new podcast series Conversations With Annalisa Barbieri is now available
