Road trips are an act of will. You must choose to go on them and accept their shortcomings. It ranks lower than the convenience of flying and the romance of traveling by train. However, it is just above the horrible hell of travelling by bus. The road trip makes up for what it lacks in convenience and intimacy. This is an excellent course in how to accept the quirks, weariness and moodiness of your companions. Last month, three of my male friends and I took a road trip together. This is a part of our year that we make a priority and plan our summers around. We have been driving to the same destination for nearly a decade. We have been enmeshing our lives for nearly a decade, creating a network of intimacy that no global pandemic can threaten. The destination is often a secondary matter. We have learned and re-learned a lot from our annual road trip: how to reach out to each other, adjust expectations, and make room for each other. When I was working as a journalist, Eric and Harrison were the first people I encountered. With their friendly natures and great sense of humor, I instantly liked the pair. Eight years ago, we went on a trip to Nashville. It was a place I had always wanted to go to because of my love for country music. We thought it would be a great idea to bring them along. We had so much fun traveling together that we decided to visit Boston the next summer. Matt, whom I had met through Eric, joined the group one year later. The road trip tradition has been alive for six years. We've been to Philadelphia, Columbus, and other cities. We've all been to Pittsburgh and we don't know why. We've been to Cleveland, and we discovered that Cleveland Rocks has taken a little creative license. We stopped at many gas stations, and many roadside attractions between the cities. Did you know that Neil Armstrong's hometown Wapakoneta in Ohio has a museum dedicated to him? It is home to two space suits as well as a moon rock. In abandoned parking lots, we have invented new games that we can play. There has been a growing concern about the quality of men's friendships for at least ten years. It is becoming increasingly difficult for men to maintain meaningful and intimate friendships. This is not because men don't know each other; it's that they don't talk to each other about their deepest issues. As a result, the burden of caring for them has been placed on women. This was an issue before COVID-19, but it has become much more severe since then. Research suggests that men are more comfortable with what is known as shoulder-to–shoulder friendships. They meet around an activity, while women can have successful face-to–face relationships. Many men are now forced to sit and talk, despite being deprived of social gatherings such as bars and game days. The problem with road trips is that all you have is sitting down and talking. You can spend hours just sitting in your car talking, sometimes not speaking, but eventually you get back to talking. After eight years of practice, we have created an environment that makes it feel more natural to talk than not. We are so proud of this.This is the obligatory roadtrip car selfieEvery road trip begins with us each choosing a city to explore. Then we begin deliberations. A US city within a reasonable driving distance is the ideal destination. We wouldn't be able to go to another US city if we didn't try. There are no New Yorks, San Franciscos, or Los Angeleses. Slowly, consensus starts to shift in one direction. Next comes the stress of choosing the dates. The road trip's continuity is threatened every year by our busy lives. Someone will eventually say, "It looks like we just cannot make it work this year." It is usually at this point that we start to become more flexible and make it work. We had to change the way we thought about what a road trip looked like for this year and last. The pandemic has meant that instead of our normal 10-hour drive, we have had to work within the limits of the road trip. This has meant that we have had to plan shorter trips to smaller towns outside of Toronto, where our families live. Fort Erie was our 2020 destination. It is a small town located on the CanadaUS border. This was partly because the border is now closed and we didn't want to cross it in the near future. Our destination this year was a charming cottage, surrounded by wineries from Prince Edward County. Matt and Eric cooked us amazing meals while we were still in quarantine because of the pandemic.Through the brightening of new relationships and the heavy burden of breakups, through the frustrations and excitement of finding new jobs, the road trip has survived.
