Graphic courtesy of Libby McGuireJust recently, I attended the grueling wedding of my nephew of 30 years to her boyfriend. They both seem to be as gay as they can, but they are also religious fanatics. There are fifty signs that these two people are gay. If you point this out to someone who doesn't believe in the Bible, they will say, "Yeah, that makes sense." Another sign was the praise given by the brides father for not moving in with them before the wedding. To me, hetero abstinence beyond the age of 30 is highly suspect. It is only possible to abstain from heterosexual intercourse after 30 if the person is gay or asexual. Our extended families were all religious zealots and the only queer-friendly outlets in our family. I want to tell the newlyweds that it is okay to question the complexity of sexuality, and that they have support. They will be awkward for many decades because their minister father, my niece, is not only judgmental but insists that love (and marriage!) can only exist between one man and one woman. Is there a way to gently ask someone if they are gay? If they are not openly gay, how can you offer support? How can we show them that our family is there to love and support them? It was a question I wish someone had asked when I was trying my best to solve it.AdvertisementUnion Not Concealing LGBTQ EnergyIt's still possible to plead for pandemic at that wedding. You can avoid being in a room with unpleasant people and their equally unpleasant companions. Both imaginary and real. This group is also very likely to not have been vaccinated.UNCLE, if you want to talk to your family about being queer/or queer-friendlyits not clear what you have figured out about yourself. Your niece knows queer people exist simply because you are one; and she knows queer folks live openly because of you. She knows that she has options, and at least one person she can turn too. If you wanted to go one step further, call your niece and ask her if she is queer. If you list all traits that you consider to be proof she and her husband have queer characteristics, it's possible she will suddenly come out. It's unlikely, UNCLE, but it is possible. It is almost certain that you will be removed from the guest list at future family events, regardless of whether your niece attends. This really tilts the balance in favor to making that call.My nephew recently told his entire family that he was gay. We all shared supportive words and I told him about Boys Life, which he greatly appreciated. Here's the real reason I am writing you. Although I love women, I am also a man. My secret is that I love to suckle the pecs and muscles of muscular men. In college, I made many male students and professors happy. I also enjoyed these interactions. Sometimes, I would sneak up on a big-headed muscular man and get nipped. It was heaven. This side of me is not known to my family. I envy my nephews' openness. Is there anyone else out there who is as open-minded as me, Mr. Savage?Complex Sexuality: A Pensive ExaminationP.S. P.S.Yes, PECS. There are many bi guys out there. Some guys are obsessed with muscular pecs, although we call them tits now. Others keep this side from their spouses or families, which can lead to bisexual invisibility. And some just love being dominated, because, like, that shitt is hot. You are not the only one.AdvertisementP.S. P.S.Just wanted to thank you for giving me the push to be openly bisexual to my family. I informed my parents about it a few weeks ago, and just recently told my sisters. Surprise surprise! My oldest sister is bisexual. It wasn't the response I expected, but it was a moment for us both to be acknowledged. I am 31 years old. I used to believe labels were not important. However, I feel like a lot of weight has been lifted. This is me and it IS important. Thank you for speaking out about bisexual visibility for so long. It took me a lot of repetition to finally feel that my bisexuality was important and that it is important for me, and for the LGBTQ+ community.AdvertisementA proudly unmasking silenced heartWelcome out, PUSH! It's so cool to discover that you've had a queer sister all your life!AdvertisementI am a man. I had crushes as a teenager on women, but was too shy to take action. Two years ago, I was with a girl I loved sexually and romantically. After the breakup, and after trying to find women who were interested in me, I decided to explore my sexuality. I was very confused when I found trans women. They are more attractive to me than cis women. This is because although they had very feminine looks, their genitals were still very masculine. This was initially a passing kink, but I eventually decided to try trans sex workers. These encounters were very enjoyable for me. Is this a sign that I am gay? I have never felt any attraction towards trans or cis men and cannot imagine myself being with them. Although I identify as straight, this leads me to believe that the label doesn't suit. Although I haven't shared this with anyone, my friends believe trans women are men. Anything they do sexually is considered gay. Is that right?AdvertisementComplications that Implicate StraightnessYour friends are wrong. You are a straight man who enjoys dickdick more than dudes. CIS, you're not alone. There are many dicks that don't have a thing for dudes. Although it may seem complicated or confusing to be a straight man, CIS still believes that the straight label is valid.AdvertisementLGBT-related disorders are preventable and treatable. This has been a lie of the Left for decades. Perversion is a different thing from friskiness. Most cases of sexual irregularity are caused by problems with parental bonding in the early years.AdvertisementSharon offers an opposing viewSharon-RhymesWith-Karen, I'm going to guess that you were caught by your husband, who had a cock in the mouth. This was the same husband who never liked initiating sex with you. And somehow, your husband convinced you that it was one of those frisky things. A trip to Mars on cocksucker wings. I'm here to tell that there was more than one. Your husband has taken in more cock than you realize, SOAOV, but less than he would like. For the record, LGBT refers to people and not patterns. Everything you claimed that LGBT was neurotic, that it can be treated, that we fail to bond with one parent, or that we bonded too strongly with another, was debunked decades back. While I recommend that you do some reading, it might be more beneficial to spend your time checking in with your husband. Is he where he is right now?Advertisementmail@savagelove.netFollow Dan Savage @FakeDanSavagewww.savagelovecast.com
