Bell for a hotel desk. iStockCOVID-19 cannot be transmitted easily by physical touch. This is something we know for a while. We didn't realize that viral spread was possible via contactless services. Many of these changes are still being made as the world reopens.Self-service iPad check-in at hotels, room service via vending machines, chatbots, and concierges are now the norm. Vox recently reported that this is "the new standard for travel." Many restaurants no longer have printed menus. Instead, diners are presented with a QR code that they need to scan with their smartphones. Slate's Monday menu is begging for the return of the paper menu, but its cri d' coeur may not be heard.It's a pain. The majority of contactless services are terrible, and the industry's blathering about convenience or customer preference should not convince you otherwise. It's terrible, you know that. If you require outside verification, here's the one: Contactless is not for rich people.A luxury experience is defined by good, personal service. While all the other things are important, service is the most important aspect of a luxury experience. It cannot be replaced by a chatbot, a vending machine, or any other automated system. Imagine yourself a multimillionaire vacationing in luxury. Perhaps you are staying at an overwater bungalow in the Maldives, the Htel Ritz Paris, or in the presidential suite in a palatial old pile. The nightly price of the accommodation isn't displayed on the website as it would be too expensive if you had to ask.You won't check in on your iPad in the lobby. Instead, you will be standing there with your hair greasy and bags spread out around your face, punching a smudgy touchscreen like a rube. Chatbots will not allow you to speak with them. A vending machine down the hall will not allow you to order your lobster thermidor. You will get better service in hotels with the best staff. Suites with the most luxurious amenities come with a personal concierge. This is a person who has a deep understanding of the area and its amenities. A bot with access Google Maps won't be able to match that.Continue the storyThis is also true for dining. Is it possible to imagine Bill Gates using a QR code menu? Jeff Bezos orders a wine bottle worth $800 from his smartphone or does he consult a sommelier. Barack Obama asked Michelle to read the dessert PDF to him because his phone is almost dead, the screen is dimmed and his reading glasses aren't working.Nah. This is what the rich pay for. In the last couple months I have been out for more food than usual. The more expensive the restaurant, the more normal and humane the service. Alinea in Chicago, California, The French Laundry and Atelier Crenn in California, as well as Virginia's Inn At Little Washington, are all printing their menus. As they did before the pandemic QR code menus were introduced, these restaurants now realize that contactless service in a restaurant isn't desirable or convenient. It doesn't enhance the experience. It doesn't increase consumer choice, or facilitate good conversations. It is unnecessary complicated, especially if it has poor technical execution."I get tired of having to navigate new digital platforms every time I eat out. Christina Cauterucci, a Slate writer, writes that I hate spending the first 10 minutes on a social interaction on my phone. "I will never again encounter, as last week, a QR Code that takes me to a website with seven menu pages that each require a separate PDF. Each page must be clicked, zoomed-in on, and then closed before I can move on to the next. Seven PDFs! This is basically a homework assignment for undergraduates. This is absurd if you only want lunch.It's absurd for some people. This makes it nearly impossible to eat at restaurants. Cauterucci's relatives don't have smartphones or the technical skills necessary to navigate the QR system. So do I. What should they do? It is so hard to give them a piece paper. Even for those who are capable of understanding these complicated menus, beware of the phone only approach. What happens if your phone dies? What if your camera is broken? Even though this may seem unfathomable, bear with me. You left the camera at home as you planned to have uninterrupted conversations with your spouse on the anniversary. What if this is a new way for us to invade our digital privacy? (China is big on QR codes. It is also a surveillance dystopia.Contactless service is useful in certain situations, and even possible. I use the Target self-checkout line. I also like the airport self-check in screens. As long as they work, I don't have to check my luggage or ask questions. However, airports and big box stores are very different from restaurants and hotels. The former is for efficiency and speed, while the latter are for pleasure and relaxation. (Airport accommodations are, according to this schema, more like a hotel or restaurant than a hotel. If you are just looking to purchase some trash bags, human service isn't very important. If you want to enjoy a luxurious night out or a long-awaited vacation, it is vital.Vox might be right to predict that hotels will not be the same again. However, it won't be true for all hotels. The same holds true for restaurants. The tech may not be affordable for low-end or independent businesses, so they might choose to avoid it. High-end companies won't expect their clients to do menial work on their vacations. The middle is at greatest risk from permanent, annoying, and dehumanizing automation. This includes big chains like Hyatt and Applebee's that offer a way to lower operating expenses by outsourcing work to customers, who are there to do the work for them.Although it may seem obvious that the future will be contactless, it does not make it more appealing. Rich people will not be convinced by industry spin. They won't want to speak to a bot and instead get a kind, competent person. Or to scroll through seven PDFs in order to find the perfect cocktail list. The rich have it right on this one.You might also like7 hilarious cartoons that mock the Democratic Joe Manchin problemJacob Zuma, former South African President, sentenced to 15 Months in PrisonBernie Sanders wants to find out if a cannabis reporter is stoned right now
