I know the last time we saw each other here on ATPB, I was pushing about living in the moment - which I still truly stand behind. Distractions and our crazy, racing minds keep us from truly enjoying the present. On this spiritual journey I am navigating, what I hope to find for myself is clarity. In no way do I need to know exactly where my life is going to take me, because as history has proven to me, there is no planning. But I felt that some outside spiritual clarity was needed to help with my feeling of being unsettled. As 2020 started, I searched for some sort of guidance to get me towards having a clearer outlook on what's to come.

Once Upon a Lunation Reading

Randomly, I stumbled upon the page of Style Rituals and was highly intrigued when I saw their offer of Lunation Readings for 2020. Colleen McCann, creator of Style Rituals and an intuitive shamanic healer, started off as a fashion stylist, but now deals tarot cards, crystals, Reiki, energy healing, mediumship and other kinds of spiritual guidance.

The lunation reading can be described as a personal forecast for the year, month by month. Colleen uses crystals and tarot cards, and speaks with spirit guides to dive deep into each month. I know you're all thinking that this sounds like a psychic reading. Even though Colleen is psychic - she was told so by another psychic after hearing spiritual voices - we're in control of the reading's outcome: the person receiving the reading is the one to pick the cards and crystals with their own energy, so really we have the power of what our year is going to look like - Colleen is there to help you understand the meaning. The is more like a calendar reminder from the universe, with mantras and tarot cards that guide you every month with mystical homework, action items and things to focus on for that month.

Being very curious about tarot cards and never partaking in any readings of the sort, I was emotional and excited to see what it was all about. As we started our reading, Colleen was detailing what we would do throughout the process and urged me to pick my cards. Maybe my look of confusion prompted her to ask if I've ever done tarot cards before. She continued with the various ways to choose your cards: simply turning cards over while the deck is in your hand, slicing the deck like a deck of playing cards, laying them out and choosing: however you want to choose your cards is up to you. Then she asked, "well, you know you're an empath, right?" What??? I knew I was a rather sensitive person, and felt emotions in a physical way, but never would have considered myself an empath: or, a person with the ability to apprehend the mental and emotional state of another individual.

After the initial shock of being told I am an empath, she proceeded to describe that empaths can feel the cards they pick, whether it be heat, cold, electricity, or they straight up hop of the deck. So, I started feeling the deck, still denying this fresh news revealed to me. No joke, I literally felt heat over certain cards and a few actually moved as I hovered my hand over them. This was completely bananas, and I was more curious than ever to know why these cards called out to me. From one deck, I picked one card for the year and 12 cards for each month of each year with mantras on them. From the collection of more than 20 decks all mixed together, I chose another 13 cards to accompany the monthly cards. I picked where I would like each card to go, in terms of in connection to what month I wanted it to lay, always face-down so that I still couldn't know what I picked. The final step to the card pulling was feeling the crystals and choosing which one spoke to me.

With all my cards and crystals in position, it was time to understand what they meant. All cards were laying face down and we would slowly uncover each one, one at a time. We started with the theme of the year. My mantra was "I am Clear" and the accompanying card was "Flow". So unbeknownst to me, the single card I chose as my theme for the year was that I am clear. Basically, the sole answer I was looking for in my unsettling time: clarity. With these two cards, the blockage I accumulated in 2019 would be freed, because 2020 is my growth year.

This year, Jupiter is in Capricorn, and since Jupiter governs growth when it is in Capricorn, this means that decisions are more practical. As was explained to me, there's room for growth, but within the boundaries I've already set in place. rules wisdom, luck and progress. The previous year, Jupiter was in Sagittarius, which is ruled by Jupiter. This completely made sense to me since my son is Sagittarius and the year was filled with opportunities and learning situations that were all about him.

Without delving into each month and what I have to look forward to, I wanted to highlight some special points that are going to be big for me this year. First off, I'm getting my voice back. This is something I've always struggled with: I tend to bottle up all my emotions and thoughts and not express or talk through them. Being vulnerable and opening my heart back up is going to be crucial for me this year. What's really going to help me find clarity this year will be letting go. There was an "A" theme with a few cards I pulled: Allowance, Awareness, Acceptance. It comes down to not having to always be in control of everything - which I am very guilty of - and learning to accept the things I cannot change. I must be vulnerable and open to whatever comes my way, without judgement, opinion, fear and resistance. As my card reads, "When we allow, the Universe becomes our partner in the wondrous dance of existence and expansion."

A few of the cards I pulled hinted towards progressing my interests and talents in shaman school. Out of all the strong, clear messages I got, this one stuck with me and flooded my brain for the following days after the reading. Knowing close to nothing about shamanism, but being told that it could be part of my future, I was ready to take the challenge. I'll start my process rather slowly: I still have two small humans to take care of, so I'll be trying to balance everything at once. My journey will begin with a mentorship with Colleen at Style Rituals, which I cannot wait to start, and maybe in the future I can progress to shaman school. So for the meantime, stay tuned for my journey into mysticism.

Image credit: Style Rituals
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