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Promising review: "This stuff is absolutely AMAZING. My wife and I were getting tired of looking at our worn-out cabinets and wood paneling and were very close to paying a professional thousands of dollars to refinish it all, but then we came across this product. Our paneling and cabinets were looking rough. We have two dogs that jumped up and scratched places; we also had an area that was damaged by water spots where our dog bowls were, and several other areas that were just worn from heavy traffic. Take a look at the pictures to see the before-and-afters. This stuff was like a Magic Eraser for water spots, scratches, scuffs, and any other blemish. We simply wiped the product on with a paper towel and let it sit for 20 minutes before wiping it off with a clean towel. Everything looks brand-new. I'm buying a couple more so we can finish our cabinets and wood paneling. We're so glad we found this product." - Kris

Get a bottle from Amazon for $8.48.

Promising review: "Amazon makes all things possible, even the perfect winged liner. I'm speechless. I've never been able to do winged liner in the 30 years I've walked the earth. This product is amazing, it's seamless. Literally, it's fool-proof. Not to mention it has great staying power, it's very dark, and hasn't smudged all day. I seriously wasn't expecting to like it this much, you've got a customer for life!" - Taylor

Get it from Amazon for $14.97 (available in two colors and four styles).

5. A bunch of Miracle-Gro "food spikes" that can bring plants as sad as the tree from A Charlie Brown Christmas back from the brink of death, and will continuously feed them for 30 to 60 days while you get the rest of your life in order.

WE SUPPORT A BEAUTIFUL LIE!!

Promising review: "Wow! After YEARS of elbow grease and zero results, I tried this stuff before giving up and stripping the old caulking from the top of my shower. I'm so glad that I did, too! I mean, look at these results! Granted, it was on for about eight hours instead of six because I forgot about it, but the black mold/mildew just rinsed away - no scrubbing at all! STOKED! Super easy to use, too!" - Nice marmot!

Get it from Amazon for $12.99.

Promising review: "This literally changed my life. I was one of those people who used to complain about needing to wash my hair DAILY. I have thin, light blonde hair. I looked greasy and unkempt after one day, not even taking into consideration working out or sweating. But now?! A whole new world. I shampoo my hair in the shower on Sundays, just rinse my hair in the shower after days I do high-intensity sweaty exercise (three to five days per week), and use this in my hair every morning. It fluffs it, gives it volume, and makes it look brand-new. I honestly can't believe how much this changed everything. Now my hair can look smooth and straight because I don't need to wash, dry, then straighten every morning (what a time suck!). Now I just straighten and use dry shampoo. I've used the extra time in mornings to improve my makeup routine, take my dog on longer walks, etc. AND I look more put together at work. Get this stuff. Conserve water. Never look back." - Eemn83

Get a three-pack from Amazon for $14.90.

Read BuzzFeed's reviews of dry shampoos for more deets!

Pssst - Batiste also sells dry shampoos for specific hair colors and in different scents!

17. A self-grooming cat toy so your cat can have a time ~feeling themselves~ and you can have an even better not finding hairballs all over your bedroom when you're trying to get your life together.
21. A mini contact lens case so you can always have a backup pair on hand for when you inevitably lose one of the contacts you're already wearing (with things as inconvenient as this, it's less a matter of if, and more a matter of when).
37. A copy of Start Where You Are, a self-exploration journal to help you organize your thoughts and feelings, because sometimes the mess isn't physical, y'all. Sometimes there's just a big ole mess in our hearts.
You walking away from the hot messes in your life entirely unscathed:
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