The Groceries That No One Wants to Panic-Buy

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As with many crises, one way we've measured these early weeks of the U.S. coronavirus outbreak has been in supermarket lines and emptied shelves. In many places, nervous shoppers have been stockpiling groceries in anticipation of extended spells of social distancing. Although it's not the rule everywhere, markets across the country have been struggling to replenish their wares as canned foods, dried goods, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper become worth their weight in gold. But there are a few consumer attitudes that even a run on supermarkets cannot erase: Some foods are just that unappealing. Here, according to Twitter users and Slate staffers' own ill-fated shopping trips, is what isn't flying off the shelves.

Pasta Made From Chickpeas

Slate's Ben Mathis-Lilley reports that shoppers laid waste to the entire pasta aisle at a Whole Foods in Millburn, New Jersey, save for the chickpea-based options like Banza. The Amazon product page for Banza's linguine notes, "Banza is bringing the sexy back to pasta."

Chocolate Hummus

Somehow reassuring in the midst of #coronavirus shopping frenzy to know that people still have the sense *not* to buy #chocolatehummus and buffalo hummus. #traderjoes #dc pic.twitter.com/fLvuUFWz3Y

- Noah (@noahgo) March 13, 2020

Chocolate hummus is the canary in the coal mine. If you see it selling out, it's time to start fleeing into the woods.

Dryer Sheets

Slate correspondent Justin Peters sent a picture of what looks to be a nearly untouched dryer sheet selection at a Foodtown in New York City. Actually, this is a luxury you should indulge. Home confinement is the best time to make sure your clothes are soft.

"Obscure Canned Veggies"

According to Slate social media editor Sofie Werthan, stocks of "obscure canned veggies" like artichokes and asparagus spears are still plentiful at her local Giant in D.C.

Dasani

water at my grocery store getting cleared but the dasani still sittin 😂 pic.twitter.com/oJWo9K35xK

- Luis Cruz (@Herwussypet) March 12, 2020

No water here but Dasani. Even in a "crisis" nobody drinking that trash ass water pic.twitter.com/p8xG6YnW70

- vegeta sama (@MamaElle_) March 12, 2020

bitches call me dasani cause dont nobody want me bruh ... 😔 pic.twitter.com/1H5pB66DQs

- the sauce haver (@MultipleHanates) March 13, 2020

Hilarious brand discrimination aside, there's really no reason to be stocking up on bottled water right now.

Pork

U ever feel like pork at a grocery store during a crisis? pic.twitter.com/Lo7QCp1EIn

- Nthne (@Nethinfetamine) March 13, 2020

Reminds people too much of swine flu, I guess?

Kidney Beans

Slate's director of technology, Greg Lavallee, reports that kidney beans appear to be least desired canned legumes in his D.C. Whole Foods.

Vegan Food

Interesting photo sent to me from a colleague in a Michigan grocery store #COVID19 pic.twitter.com/PbRJtpwS9S

- Sara Place (@drsplace) March 13, 2020

When things really hit the fan, people show their true colors.

This is in Glasgow, where grocery stores are empty.

But the vegan food remains. pic.twitter.com/PMXv3YE51h

- Carnivore Aurelius © (@KetoAurelius) March 9, 2020

Vegans will inherit the earth.

For more on the impact of the coronavirus, listen to the latest episode of What Next: TBD.