father and two kids
Research suggests that parents who manage stress well and maintain a positive mood impact their child's mood in a positive way.MoMo Productions/Getty Images
  • Parents want their kids to do amazing things with their lives.

  • Some of the factors that affect a child's development come down to parents.

  • The factors and techniques are a good starting point for parents.

Parents want their children to stay out of trouble, do well in school, and go on to do great things.

Several factors that predict success have been pointed out by psychologists. Spending time with your child, allowing your child to make decisions, and maintaining a happy family are some of the themes in these tips.

Research shows that parents of successful kids have the same things in common.

They tend to let their children take the lead in easy or moderately difficult tasks

The study found that too much parental direction can cause a child to lose focus. The research looked at children who were doing things. The researchers wrote that children with parents who stepped in showed more difficulty regulating their emotions. The study suggests that parents shouldn't let their children figure out how to play or solve a problem.

Children's ability to control their own attention, behavior and emotions can be adversely affected by too much direct engagement. Children who are allowed to take the lead in their interactions are more likely to develop self-regulation skills.

They tend to make their kids do chores.

"If kids aren't doing the dishes, it means someone else is doing that for them," said Julie Lythcott-Haims.

She said that they are not responsible for the work but for learning that work has to be done and that each one of us must contribute for the sake of the whole.

Kids raised on chores are more likely to become employees who work well with their coworkers, and are more compassionate because they know what it's like to struggle.

She bases her suppositions on the Harvard Grant Study.

She told Insider that she has to do the work of life in order to be part of it.

They tend to teach their kids social skills.

More than 700 children from across the US were tracked by researchers from Pennsylvania State University and Duke University, and they found a correlation between their social skills as kindergarteners and their success as adults.

The 20-year study showed that socially competent children who could cooperate with their peers without prompting, be helpful to others, understand their feelings, and resolve problems on their own, were more likely to earn a college degree and have a full-time job.

People with limited social skills were more likely to get arrested, binge drink, and apply for public housing.

Helping children develop social and emotional skills is one of the most important things we can do to prepare them for a healthy future according to a release from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.

They tend to have high expectations.

Using data from a national survey of 6,600 children born in 2001, University of California at Los Angeles professor Neal Halfon and his colleagues discovered that the expectations parents hold for their kids have a huge effect on achievement

He said that parents who saw college in their child's future seemed to manage their child towards that goal regardless of their income and other assets.

More than half of the kids who did the worst were expected to attend college by their parents, while almost all of the kids who did the best went to college.

The Pygmalion effect states that what one person expects of another can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Kids live up to their parents expectations.

They tend to have healthy relationships with each other.

According to a University of Illinois study review, children of parents who get along are more likely to fare better than those of parents who don't.

According to Robert Hughes Jr., professor and head of the Department of Human and Community Development in the College of ACES at the University of Illinois, some studies have shown that children in single-parent families fare better than children in two-parent families.

Hughes says that the conflict between parents prior to divorce affects children negatively while the conflict after divorce has a strong influence on children's adjustment.

Children fare better when a father has frequent contact with his kids and there isn't a lot of conflict. Frequent visits from the father are associated with poorer adjustment of children.

Young people who experienced high conflict between their parents were more likely to have feelings of loss and regret.

They've usually attained higher educational levels.

A study done by the University of Michigan found that mothers who finished high school or college were more likely to raise their children the same way.

The study found that children born to teen mothers were less likely to finish high school or go to college than their peers.

Aspiration is partly to blame. In a study of 856 people in New York, Eric Dubow found that parents' educational level when the child was 8 years old predicted educational and occupational success for the child 40 years later.

They tend to teach their kids math early on.

According to a meta-analysis of 35,000 preschoolers across the US, Canada, and England, developing math skills early can be a huge advantage.

One of the puzzles coming out of the study is that the importance of early math skills is paramount. A master of early math skills can predict future math achievement.

They tend to develop a relationship with their kids.

In a study of 243 people who were born into poverty, it was found that children who received "sensitive caregiving" in their first three years did better in academic tests.

Parents who are sensitive caregivers respond to their child's signals promptly and appropriately, and provide a secure base for children to explore the world, according to a report.

Lee Raby said in an interview that investments in early parent-child relationships may result in long-term returns.

They're often less stressed.

According to research cited by The Washington Post, the number of hours that moms spend with kids between ages three and 11 does not correlate with their behavior, well-being, or achievement.

The "helicopter parenting" approach can go wrong.

Kei Nomaguchi, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University, told The Post that stress can affect children poorly.

There is a psychological phenomenon where people catch feelings from one another. Research shows that if your friend is happy, you will get a lot of light and if she is sad, you will get a lot of gloom. The emotional state of a parent can transfer to their children.

They tend to value effort over avoiding failure.

Kids who think success comes from somewhere are more likely to get good grades.

Carol Dweck has found that children think about success in two different ways.

Our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens that we can't change in any meaningful way, and success is an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard.

A "growth mindset," on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of un-intelligence but as a positive sign for growth.

There is a distinction between how you assume your will affects your ability and how it affects kids. A "fixed" mindset is created if kids are told that they aced a test because of their intelligence. That teaches a growth mindset if they succeeded because of effort.

The moms tend to work.

There are benefits to children growing up with mothers who work outside the home.

The study found that daughters of working mothers went to school longer, were more likely to have a job and earn more money than their peers who were raised by stay-at- home mothers.

The study found that the sons of working mothers spent more time on household chores and more time on child care.

According to the study's lead author, role modeling is a way of signaling what's appropriate in terms of how you behave, what you do, the activities you engage in, and what you believe.

She said that being raised by a working mother has a clear effect on gender equality.

They tend to have a higher socioeconomic status.

One-fifth of American children are poor, a situation that limits their potential.

The achievement gap between high- and low-income families has gotten more extreme.

Dan Pink said that the SAT scores for the kids were higher if the parents had more money.

Absent comprehensive and expensive interventions, the socio-economic status is what drives educational achievement and performance.

They are more often "authoritative" than "authoritarian" or "permissive."

There are basically three kinds of parenting styles according to research published in the 1960s.

  • The parent tries to be nice to the kid.

  • The parent tries to control the child by setting a standard of conduct.

  • The child is being directed rationally by the parent.

The ideal person is the authority. The kid doesn't feel like he's being smothered by authority.

They tend to teach "grit."

A psychologist from the University of Pennsylvania won agenius grant for discovering a powerful personality trait.

According to her research, "tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward very long-term goals" is related to educational attainment, grade point average, and rank in the US National Spelling Bee.

Teaching kids to imagine and commit to a future is what it is about.

They tend to apply behavioral control, not psychological control.

Parents' psychological control of their children plays a significant role in their life satisfaction and mental well-being according to a longitudinal study.

Jeff Haden gives an explanation for mic.

People who thought their parents cared more as they grew up were more likely to be happy and satisfied as adults.

The effect was judged to be similar to the recent death of a close friend for the people whose parents applied more psychological control as they grew up.

Not allowing children to make their own decisions, invading their privacy, fostering dependence, and guilting children into doing what they want are all examples of how a parent could apply psychological control.

The difference between psychological control and behavioral control is that it is about setting limits on behavior that could be harmful. Setting curfews and assigning chores are examples of behavioral control.

They tend to understand the importance of good nutrition and eating habits.

Good eating habits can help you concentrate and be productive.

According to Business Insider, a family and children's clinical psychologist told Slate that developing food habits in kids that are both mentally and physically healthy is important.

To help their kids develop a sense of body acceptance and a body- positive self- image, she said parents need to role model good attitudes about their own bodies, healthy eating habits of their own, and a positive attitude about food.

They tend to give their kids bias-proof names.

A lot of research shows how much your name affects your life's work.

People with names that are easy to pronounce have more success in their careers.

When they do face conflict, they tend to fight fair in front of their kids.

When kids witness mild to moderate conflict that involves support, compromise, and positive emotions at home, they learn better social skills, self-esteem, and emotional security, which can help parent-child relations.

He said that when kids watch a fight and see the parents resolve it, they are happier than they were before. Children are reassured that parents can work things out.

When a parent gives in to a fight or refuses to communicate, their own emotional response is not good.

The long-term effects of parental withdrawal are more disturbing to children's adjustment than open conflict, according to his studies. It's harder for the children in this instance to adjust because they don't understand what's going on.

Chronic stress from repeated exposure to destructive conflict can cause kids to be anxious, depressed, angry, aggressive, behaviorally challenged, sickly, tired, and struggling academically.

They tend to let their children fail.

Micro-managing a child's life is one of the newest trends in raising children. It is one of the most damaging aspects of snowplow parenting.

Three-quarters of parents of adults 18 to 28 years old book their children's doctor's appointments and haircuts for them according to a New York Times and Morning Consult poll.

The author of How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success said that snowplow parenting is the opposite of good parenting.

She said the point was to prepare the child for the road instead of preparing the road for the child.

They usually don't let their kids watch too much TV.

Children who watch television at a young age tend to have suppressed communication skills and TV reduces the amount of parent-child communication according to a study.

The study found that reading was a good way to communicate with your child. "TV coviewing creates a detrimental communication environment for young children, while shared book reading encourages effective mother–child exchanges," the authors wrote.

They tend to let their kids make decisions.

LauraJJ Dessauer said that not letting your child make decisions can turn them into codependency.

Dessauer wrote that making every decision for a child, including the clothes they wear, exactly when they do their homework, and who they can play with, can eliminate their desire to make decisions. They are likely to seek out relationships in which someone else has all the power and control as they grow older.

Controled parents should fix their problem. Dessauer said that a child will figure out some things they can do differently if you listen.

They tend to teach their kids self-control.

Your child is more likely to be healthy, wealthy, and safe if they have a good sense of self control.

Parents who made sure their children controlled their impulses were found to raise more stable kids. Those children were healthy, had more money, and didn't engage in criminal behavior.

The sibling with lower self-control had poorer outcomes even though they had the same family background.

They tend to pay attention to their children.

The University of Delaware found that people born into poverty were more likely to succeed if their parents paid attention and listened to them.

Children did better on tests and were more likely to go to college.

The parents tend to take parental leave. 

Bonding time in the early months of childhood is important for parents to bond with their children and can have long-term effects.

According to a study by the University of North Carolina, taking parental leave can lower infant mortality rates and improve a child's overall health.

According to a recent study, mothers who take maternity leave are doing their children a lot of good.

The children of mothers who did not take maternity leave have higher IQs, are more educated, and make more money. The data shows that this is true for children from lower educated homes.

They tend to read to their children.

Reading to your child has long-term benefits. Studies show that reading to your child every day is good for their development. Children who are read to more frequently at age four achieve better scores on reading and writing tests when they are eight years old. Research shows that this is not different from other things.

It is possible to build an appetite for reading through books with your child.

They're optimistic

According to Karen Young, a psychologist based in Australia, optimism is about being able to look ahead and see the bright side.

Children are more likely to learn from what their parents do than what they say, according to Young.

They will be more open to learning from their mistakes if they hold the longer-term goals more positive.

Young is the creator of "Hey Sigmund", a website and account with over 20,000 followers, which she uses to produce content about anxiety, parenting, and mental health for children and adolescents.

A previous version of this post was contributed by Ivan De Luce. The article was first published in 2019.

Business Insider has an article on it.