How to cope with heartbreak during the holidays

I had trouble sleeping on Christmas Day night. I knew I had a difficult and heartbreaking conversation ahead of me and that's why I was excited for the continued celebrations.

My self-esteem was at an all time low, and a situationship of mine had developed into an emotional interaction. Sex with a good friend was important. He went quiet and ghosted me despite the friendship. It didn't feel good. During this time of silence, my mind was constantly searching for answers. My inner critic used the situation to beat me with evidence that I was deficient in other people's eyes.

I was confused by his intentions when he got back in touch, and I hoped he had changed his mind. As I sat next to my parents' Christmas tree, I knew I had to ask him what he wanted from me. I realized the answer might not be what I wanted, but I needed to leave this room of sadness. I knew I had to keep talking because my anxiety was getting worse. I woke up on Boxing Day to a message from him apologizing for his actions. I sighed because I knew what I had to do.

I waited for the inevitable after I sent the message. The contents of his message didn't surprise me, but it was still painful. When I was free from the turmoil, anxiety gave way to heartbreak, a feeling that wasn't what I wanted to be dealing with over Christmas, a time of year I usually love. I cried tears of joy as I watched my favourite films with my family. My mother looked at me with pity and concern as I muffled my sad sniffs. It wasn't a good time. No amount of pigs in blankets or Terry's chocolate oranges would make me feel better.

It is not possible to take a day off when it is a special occasion. The holidays can be difficult if you're in the middle of a break-up. Annie Lord told me that it's pretty horrible because everyone is so loved up during Christmas.

There are couples everywhere, holding hands at the Christmas markets, looking for rings in shops, and when you turn on the tv they're still there, kissing in cozy cottages in The Holiday, declaring their love in Love Actually She thinks that the cold makes people want to be with someone they love.

It doesn't mean you have to give up on it. There are tips on how to cope with holiday heartbreaks.

Limit your time on social media

If there's anything that makes you want to throw your phone at the wall, it's seeing pictures of engagement rings with the caption "so, this happened!" You don't have to look at it right now.

It's a good idea to limit your social media use during this time so you don't get bombarded with what your friends are up to. When we see other people having fun on social media, it can make us feel lonely and isolated.

There are some tips on how to limit your use of social media.

Give yourself time to grieve

There is joy during the holidays. It can be difficult when you feel rotten. It's important to give yourself permission to feel sad in order to make yourself feel better.

A break up is similar to grief if the person was in your life. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to process the loss, instead of rushing out to date again.

Don't feel bad if you're sad. Lord says not to feel like you're ruining other people's time. You are not a burden, that's for sure. Being there for people when they need it is an honor.

There are some tips on how to move on if you have been ghosted.

Surround yourself with people you love

Everyone around you right now will have gone through a heartbreaking experience at one point in their life. It makes you feel less alone if you open up about what you're going through.

Speak to your family. Lord says that most of the time they have been through this before they survived. Christmas is a time when you are surrounded by your family and friends. You should celebrate the love you get from them, a love that is less intense and more enduring than romantic love.

Sometimes going home or to a safe place can allow you to get to know your younger self. She says going home can be relaxing. You're surrounded by stuff from when you were younger, which can help you see the bigger picture. I found an old diary where I was crying over a guy and I could still see that I was dealing with it in a better way.

Some people don't have access to a support network at this time of year. If you're having a mental health crisis or if you're experiencing a broken heart, please talk to someone.

You can call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Hotline at 988, or the Trans Lifeline at (877) 565-8860. You can text "start" to the crisis text line. The help line is open from 10:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. on Mondays through Fridays. Email info@nami.org The Samaritans can be reached in the UK. You can use the 988 Suicide and Crisis Hotline at crisischat.org if you don't want to use the phone. International resources are listed here.

Try some grounding techniques

As a practical way to deal with heartbreak, Yassin recommends that you equip yourself with some grounding techniques, which can be helpful for people to manage and work through emotions they wish they weren't feeling. Grounding techniques help you focus on what's happening in the present moment and distract you from feelings of anxiety or difficulty.

"We are not saying that we will not deal with or process the emotions and sensations, but we are saying that right now, at this moment, this is not going to intrude in what I'm doing." It's good to walk to bring you back into the moment. Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) is a process in which both sides of the brain are stimulated when we walk in front of each other. You can get started with one of the free meditations.

Cross-stitch or crochet are repetitive activities that can have a soothing effect for some. "Journaling or watching a good movie is a good way to get to know someone." Journaling helps you get difficult thoughts and feelings down on paper so you can get a new perspective. If you want to start, check out the guide from Mashable.

Look after your physical needs

It can be hard to look after ourselves when you're low. Taking care of your physical needs can make you feel better even though you can't change the difficult emotions that come with heartbreak. It's important to get plenty of rest and hydration.

Touroni says to make sure you do activities that keep you healthy. Substances can be used to numb hard feelings. They are likely to make things worse in the long run.

There are some things you can do to drift off.

Don't rush into another relationship

If you have been worried about running out of time, you can experience feelings of panic as well. You are allowed to take time to heal, and that you are enough on your own if you resist some of these feelings.

It's a good idea to not rush into another relationship straight away. People that rebound are people who are struggling with relationships. If you want to have a relationship with someone else, build a relationship with yourself first. If you don't give yourself the time and space to be able to work out what you're feeling, it's unlikely a rebound relationship will be healthy.

Don't read into their texts

It's natural to want to look for signs of hope in any contact you might have had from the person you broke up with. This habit can make it hard to accept what is happening.

Lord says "if they message you 'happy Christmas' don't start thinking it's a signal." They are just trying to be nice. It will confuse your ex if you don't send a text.

It's a good rule of thumb to assume that there is no hidden meaning to their messages. A person will find a way to make sure their intentions are fully understood if they want something badly enough. If they want to communicate important things, they will likely do so in an explicit way.

Cut yourself some slack

The last thing you need when you're sad is another person telling you what ails you. Your inner critic can try to convince you that you're bringing down the vibe, but most people don't think that's a good idea.

Lord says to be kind to yourself. Don't get upset if you don't get off the sofa for the whole day, it's Christmas and everyone is doing it as well. It might feel like you're going backwards, but you're not there because you're stewing and feeling miserable.

Talk to someone

Don't be silent if you're struggling. If you can, talk to a mental health professional. Shout is a free mental health service in the United Kingdom. Text "start" to the Crisis Text Line if you are in the U.S.

It could be a sign to dig a little deeper if you find yourself stuck in the same pattern. Negative early life experiences can affect the type of relationships we choose in later life. Therapy is a good place to begin the process of figuring out what happened in your past.

Don't let your feelings get the best of you. Touroni suggests reaching out to friends and family. The right people will want to be there for you when you need them the most.

You're not alone if you're hurting this Christmas. It will not be forever. Don't forget to take care of yourself.