Sometimes passive- aggressive behavior isn't intentional. People who have these tendencies tend to struggle with being honest about their emotions.
Problems and tensions can go unresolved if you fail to be straightforward in your messages. They might lose respect for you.
These phrases only serve to irritate the audience, so avoid them.
This one is called a "throat clearer" because it is an indirect attempt to demand attention. "Per my last email...," "Not sure if you got the memo, but..." or "As I mentioned before..." are other phrases that can be eliminated.
The phrases camouflage your request and make the other person think you are bossy.
Don't say anything else, be direct. Say, "Hey, I'm sorry to bug you again, but I need a response" if you need a quick response.
This phrase is often used to make something offensive.
If you tell people in advance that you're going to be rude, it's okay to do so. It's wrong.
Legitimate criticism is helpful if you aren't a jerk about it. Do you want to solve the problem, or are you focused on something else?
It is fine to say that this is a good time to speak. I'm concerned about your performance, there's something that's been bothering me. Talk about it.
This is a phrase for "Yep, okay" sometimes. The sarcastic version says, "Shut up, I heard you" or "You're annoying, leave me alone"
It is obvious that sarcasm is the most passive type of aggression. Your audience might not know why you're upset. You just dump your feelings on them.
Why are you upset? Try saying something like, "I'm sorry if I seem annoyed."
It can be a form of passive aggression to soften a request. Think of other people like "Thanks in advance" or "Hey, what's our ETA looking like?"
Don't pretend you're a friend if you're asking for a job. State what you need and when.
Instead, be upfront. Explain that the client will be upset if they don't get it by tomorrow.
disapproval is implied by this phrase. Passive aggressive judgement signals include "Just so you know..."
There is a common refrain in each of these phrases. You don't know who I am. You made another mistake. These are not helpful to anyone.
You should say that people don't make decisions to upset you. Speak up if you don't like what you see. Lead with confidence. Is it something you need to do? This is a good time to say something.
As you advocate for what you think is best, be polite and direct.
You will have a lot of decisions in your life. The world won't stop spinning if you don't have a say.
John Bowe is a speech trainer, award-winning journalist, and author of "I Have Something to Say: mastering the Art of Public Speaking in an Age ofDisconnection." You can follow him onLinkedIn.
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