Likeability is not a priority for The White Lotus creator Mike White when it comes to his characters, but each has a trait that makes you root for them and curse them the next. Albie Di Grasso embodies this dichotomy with some viewers falling for his charms and others calling out the thinly veiled sexism hiding behind his performative feminism.
Albie blew into Taormina with his "nice guys finish last" spiel in Season 2 and manipulated his way into the hearts of the internet. If you've ever been a part of the dating scene, you'll know what I mean.
How can you tell a nice guy from a bad guy? They'll let you know. A Nice Guy believes that showing the bare minimum of respect towards women is deserving of a reward. They cite allyship to women with very little action to back it up, so you would better believe they are morally superior beings. Nice Guys claim women get left behind because they go for the "bad boys" and often this type of rhetoric can be found on "incel" forums.
Adam DiMarco and Simona Tabasco as Albie and Lucia Credit: Fabio Lovino/HBO
Throughout the second season of the show, Albie has displayed almost every single sign of a Nice Guy, showing his relationship with Lucia and his attraction towounded birds.
Albie says that girls are always complaining that guys aren't nice, but then, if they find a nice guy, they're not interested. You are not a nice guy if you say so.
It looks like she believes Albie to be nice, not performatively nice. In the third episode, Portia says that he is really nice. He should have cut my heart a little bit more. Albie believes that women don't like nice men.
There is a sense of entitlement to women's time, attention, and sex that is often a successful manipulation tactic. The prospect of pleasing the object of their desire into a relationship and/or sex is what motivates nice guys.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that if you have to say you’re a Nice Guy, you most definitely are not a nice guy.
There is a certain level of arrogance and lack of self-awareness when it comes to assuming that the only grounds a person can possibly have for rejection are being too nice. The dating culture of today has been greatly impacted by the roots of this trope.
Rachel Hosie wrote for the Independent that men who complain that they are unlucky in love may have a sinister agenda. If you meet someone's needs, they should meet yours. If a man is nice to a woman, she should repay him by being his girlfriend.
The white lotus will be Albie's undoing. It seems like he only wants to be with women who need some kind of rescue, since he says he's attracted to pretty, wounded birds. He gets to act the "hero" and "save her" from the mysterious threat of Alessio in order to make him feel better about himself.
Albie's response to learning that Lucia is a sex worker is very telling. Albie doesn't believe that Lucia is doing this because she doesn't have an agency. He's willing to assume she's being exploited by a man she says is her pimp. She needs to be rescued because he believes she is being exploited and needs to be saved. His salvation complex is also involved here. He sees Lucia as awounded bird. It doesn't come off as that much of a surprise when Lucia uses this to scam Albie out of 50,000.
In Albie's Nice Guy routine, this is a turning point. We don't get to see this in the show, but it sets up the beginning of his distrust of women, which could lead him down the path that he really wants to avoid. At the airport, when everyone is getting ready to leave, the three Di Grassos look at a beautiful woman who is walking past them, implying that Albie is going to be like them.
Adam DiMarco, F. Murray Abraham, Michael Imperioli star as three generations of Di Grasso men. Credit: Fabio Lovino/HBO
Albie's feminism is shown in the series mainly because of his need to differentiate himself from his father and grandfather. Albie goes on a rant that the movie is loved by men because it sells them the fantasy of a time when the patriarchy wasn't challenged. Albie looks at Portia as if he wants to see if she approves of his feminist monologue.
Men love the movie because they are emasculated by society. He says it's a fantasy about a time when they could go out and solve all their problems with violence, and sleep with every woman, and then come home to their wife and make pasta.
Albie's monologue is a response to his father and grandfather'sinfidelities. He blames both of them for the way he is now, as well as his father.
He tells him that he is the way he is because of him. I did the same thing. Albie is trying so hard to not end up like the men in his family that it seems like his Nice Guy act will cause him to overcorrect his behavior and end up like his predecessors.
This scene wouldn't have raised an eyebrow if Albie's feminism had felt less performative, less rehearsed, and instead came from a more genuine place.
In our dating culture, claiming to be a feminist has become a sexual currency. A person's stance on social issues can affect the outcome of a match. 75 percent of single people are looking for a match who is respectful of or invested in social issues, according to a review by the dating app.
According to a survey conducted by Bumble, 74 percent of men say they've looked inward and analysed their own behavior more and have a better understanding of toxic masculinity. Men who identify as feminists have more sex than men who don't.
Haley Lu Richardson as Portia and Adam DiMarco as Albie. Credit: Fabio Lovino/HBO
When Jack enters the picture, Albie's feminism comes under scrutiny again. Albie is upset that Portia is talking to Jack, who is the epitome of a walking, talking red flag, the stereotypical "bad boy" charm, and ignores his needs. Albie doesn't understand why a woman he has been courting for two days doesn't want to spend time with him. I saw her first and he thinks he has some sort of ownership over her. Jack is threatening him because he believes girls go for bad boys and not good guys.
White privilege has been replaced in the second season of The White Lotus. In the second season, people use their sexuality to wage war on everyone around them, just like in the first season. Sex is a tool, a means to control and assert power, and its byproduct is hurt and suffering to the person being cheated on.
Both feminism and performative feminism exist. There is a social, romantic and sexual currency associated with it. The conversation around this has been democratised so it's easy to be one. Nice Guys like Albie use it as a ruse to get women into bed, and that's the problem.
The guys are nice. Nice guys don't
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