The author writes that adults started second-guessing Jenny's gender after she got a haircut.
A 12-year-old girl would like to pee. She can't seem to get away from it.
Jenny went to the bathroom on the way out of the amusement park. Jenny is not our daughter's real name. Jenny was asked why she was in the women's bathroom as she walked out of the stall. Jenny said that she is female.
Jenny was rattled by this interaction and many others over the past several months. It was the latest in a series of paper cuts.
Jenny was born before her due date. When she decided it was time to enter the world before her due date, she scared the life out of my wife and me. Whether we were ready or not, Jenny's independence and strength have been obvious since she came kicking and crying into this world.
We didn't think much of Jenny's announcement that she was going to cut her hair Jenny has created a style that is unique to her. There were no pink or purple ones. It's not dresses that are pants. There is a blue haired person. The hair is green Jenny is defined We don't want it to be any other way.
The new haircut is tight on the sides and fades to a beautiful head of curly hair. It has practical value. Jenny plays two sports. Her long style made it hard for her to get there.
Adults started second-guessing Jenny's gender after she got a haircut. During a soccer game, the father of a rival player kept referring loudly to Jenny as "he" and " him", and we didn't find out until after the game. Our daughter's teammates didn't like it. The dad was admonished that he needed to check his pronouns.
Jenny is an athlete. Maybe this dad thought our team had an advantage because he assumed Jenny was male. Maybe it was a political statement. Maybe he was jealous of Jenny and wanted to stop her from playing. He might have been a dinosaur who thought girls and women should have their hair done. Don't even think about it. Even in the weak, passive- aggressive way this grown man approached it, there was a power imbalance when an adult confronted a child about their looks, style, clothes, gender or gender identity.
Jenny has always identified with her birth sex. She is a girl with either short or long hair. Regardless of Jenny's gender at any point in her life, I will always be with her and love her as she is. Kids come in many different styles of expression. Even if they fall outside of what some consider normal, we can still affirm and celebrate them.
What should an adult do when they see a child with a new haircut? It's easy, move on. Jenny did a great job modernizing her hair.
If a child's look is too much for you, look for an adult connected to that child. We will be outside the bathroom door. We would be happy to discuss why you are worried about the body parts below our daughter's hair.
Marshall is a lawyer.
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