Butter chicken has helped me at every stage of my life – and has always united my family

The first time I tasted butter chicken, I remembered. I must have been a young child. Not everyone owned a tandoor and my dad's cousins used to cook a whole chicken from their farm in an open fire.

They used their own tomatoes, yogurt, and cultured butter. I wanted my mum to make it for us back home because it was such a beautiful dish. I can't recreate the smoky flavour from cooking over an open fire.

Summer holidays and my dad's work at the steel plant gave me an understanding of regional food. At school, my friends and I would eagerly look into each other's boxes to see what exciting regional dishes we'd be able to share with each other.

I learned that one dish can vary so much. The techniques and methods used to make it vary a lot.

Butter chicken is a comforting dish that feels decadent thanks to its silky smooth richness. The dish can be cooked with either breast meat or chicken thighs. The chicken needs to be fullyMarinated to allow the flavours of the spices to shine It is possible to enjoy it with a side of sliced onions.

Butter chicken was only available for special occasions. Dining out was a great way to save money for family vacations. My mother used to make her own version at home, but she used a combination of milk and yogurt. When I traveled with my family to the Punjab during school holidays, I was able to experience the butter chicken in a whole new way.

I have been interested in it since then. It can be an incredibly smoky and satisfying creation if done well.

When I was a girl, butter chicken was only for special occasions 

Reet was just six months old when she tasted butter chicken. She snatched a piece of chicken from my dish while sitting on my lap at a wedding. She yelled for more immediately.

I have made it for her and her sister at home since then. I knew I had to make butter chicken with naan and a kachumber salad for her and her friends when they came to my restaurant.

I have taught them how to make their own version of it. They know that the sauce can be made ahead of time and frozen if they need it. I helped Reet save time and money by teaching her a "cheat" version of tomato purée.

When I started my business from home, I began to learn more about butter chicken, its history and how it can be prepared. The first ever Moti Mahal restaurant was founded by three friends from Pakistan who fled to Delhi after the partition of India. Butter chicken and dal makhani were created here.

Chefs across India created their own versions of butter chicken after it became popular. I went to many parts of Punjab with my father and Ritu to try different versions of it. I have fond memories of my father grinding spices in the kitchen to make the blends that my mother used to cook. I think he is still in awe of the fact that I cook and write about food for a living.

It was the worst butter chicken I have eaten. All I could taste was the cream and the pieces of chopped onion. Sadly, when an area is famous for a particular dish, many businesses try to take advantage of it by doing it poorly.

The butter chicken is just as it should be – smoky, creamy and not too sweet or tangy, a perfect balance of flavours

Reetika, Anmol, and his cousin helped us find the best butter chicken in Delhi. I found it at a monument. The building looks great. There are original doors and interior décor. The butter chicken is smokey, creamy and has a perfect balance of flavours. I felt like I was in a scene from When Harry Met Sally.

There's a problem with replicating this dish in England. The texture and taste of our tomatoes are not as good as those in the Punjab. I like to make butter chicken at home.

On my butter chicken trail, I found places where onions are added to the gravy. Food can evolve and change based on taste. Cook it the way you want it to be cooked.

Gill taught me how to cook this recipe. It's popular with Punjabi truck drivers who stop at dhabas and it's the one I use for raising money at home. Slow cooking butter chicken in large pots makes it taste better, and gives it a creamy texture.

When I served butter chicken in my restaurant, I was able to give people a taste of the food I grew up with. It fills me with nostalgia, and with hope, love, power and knowledge at each step of my career. I would like you to enjoy it as much as I do.

Greek yogurt, ginger, garlic, and tandoori spices are included in the recipe.

For the sauce:

unsalted butter is 50 grams.

Roughly chopped ginger.

The garlic is roughly chopped.

Roughly chopped tomatoes 750g.

The cashews are 75 grams.

A little bit of garam masala.

Tandoori masala is 1 part.

Coriander powder is used for food.

Red Kashmiri chili powder.

1 part salt to 1 part water.

It's 1 cup of sugar.

Extra to sprinkle when serving.

The waterml is 400.

The leaves of methi aredried.

Green cardamom seeds are crushed.

In a bowl, mix all the ingredients. Place the chicken in the fridge and cover it with clingfilm after you coat it in theMarinate. The oven should be set to 200C/gas mark 6. The chicken should be placed on a tray and baked for 15 minutes.

The butter can be heated in a saucepan. The ginger and garlic can be cooked on a medium heat. When they are soft, add the chopped tomatoes. Add the cashews, spices, chili powder, salt and sugar and cook for four minutes. The heat needs to be removed from the body. Add the sauce to the blender and make it smooth. Add cream, water, methi and ground cardamom seeds to the saucepan. In a covered pan, warm for 10 minutes. Cook the chicken for 12 minutes. Don't worry, enjoy eating.

Go to romygill.com for more information.