An as-told-to essay was written based on a conversation with a person who only recently found out he has aphantasia. It has been edited to make it clearer.
A person with aphantasia can't picture images in their brain the way other people can. This is what it means for me, and why I don't think like other people.
I didn't know that I was different because I didn't think people would see pictures in their heads.
I explained the things away, even though I knew they weren't compatible with me. I told people that counting sheep to fall asleep was a metaphor and no one could see sheep in their head.
I didn't think that flashbacks had to be invented by filmmakers.
People wouldn't like me mentioning gross things at the dinner table. I didn't know it could make people cringe.
It was like a plot twist in a movie when I heard about aphantasia. Things that were weird to me were cast in a different light.
The name Aphantasia was given in 2015, after a patient lost the ability to see pictures after a surgery.
According to surveys, 2% to 4% of people have aphantasia. visualization exists on a spectrum as people talked about their experiences
People with hyperphantasia can recall images in vivid detail. People like me are on the other side.
It's not possible for me to imagine my wife's face. She can be seen in a picture or in a room. She has eyes or hair. I don't remember a lot of the features in a visual way.
Explaining her to a police sketch artist would be funny.
I can't remember smells or sounds. Many people would be able to hear their father's voice if I asked them to think of him talking to them. I don't think the words are in a voice.
How could you compare what's in my head to what's in yours?
The brains and pupils of people with aphantasia are thought to react differently to images. Aphantasia isn't recognized by the American Psychiatric Association.
There is a way to assess how well you see.
I like to imagine a ball on a table when I'm at a dinner party. A person is pushing a ball up a table. The scene should be described.
People will describe the ball in detail. It's red." There is a stripe and a star on the item. They will talk about the table's color. They will know the gender of the person. They'll explain the scene as if it were a movie.
The ball does not have a color and is a concept. The table is not much more than a piece of furniture. I probably wouldn't have thought about a full human interaction with the ball. The ball went into the void. This is it. It is time to end the story.
People with aphantasia remember differently than visualizers. I have limits to how much I can remember because I only recall conceptually. I don't see myself in the future or the past.
If I misplace my keys, I can't remember where I saw them. I can't remember what I said because I can't replay it in my head. I can only remember a list of what happened when I return from vacation.
People with aphantasia tend to get over traumatic events quicker.
When I lost my mother when I was young, it was a sad experience. I can't relive it even though I've tried.
I cannot see my mother's face. Most people on this planet can see loved ones from their past, even if they have aphantasia. I didn't feel good that I couldn't do that.
Even though I have aphantasia, I still think when I interact with someone. I can't think of a reason why they're hearing the same thing.
To be adaptive is the safest strategy. Don't think they can see like you. Try a different strategy if they don't connect with your approach.
I have become more sensitive at the dinner table. I can plant a thought in your brain and you can't stop it. It will not affect me at all. It's amazing.