People on the internet have been interested in sex for a long time.
The author of the new book How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex argues that sex changed on the internet. Cole shows how sexual content and communities were part of the internet from its earliest days to show how the online space deals with identity, community, and consent. Cole makes the case that you can't make sense of the internet without sex, even if platform companies want to.
In this interview, multiple sexual practices are described. Readers who are not comfortable with these topics should not read them.
Sex was a major part of the internet from the very beginning according to the book. Why do you believe that is?
It is a part of human nature to want to connect as deeply as possible to other people, whether it is online or not, and the internet has opened up a new place for that. People can be whoever they want to be. It was possible for them to be different from who they were away from keyboards. They were able to express themselves in a new way. It branches out into sexuality very quickly.
What level of reality would you like to see on the internet?
There are old message boards where people describe themselves as blobs or mythical creators. They would talk about love and sex. They would usually meet up after that. They had kids sometimes. There are people who only exist because of the bulletin board systems that connected their parents.
There is an immediate security concern due to the fact that people are using pseudonyms to share information. The internet didn't have a lot of tools to keep your identity private
To get in the door of aBBS, you had to call someone and give them your credit card information. It was personal between you and the person in charge. If you wanted to use your name, a lot of them would let you, but there were other communities that wanted you to use a different name. They would want you to put your email address at the end of the post. What level of reality would you like to experience on the internet? The more sexualized communities came about when people used the internet to pretend to be something they wanted to be.
How much of a difference does it make when you get into the modern internet, built on companies that are able to treat sexual content in a different way?
When you go from a single person running a bulletin board to a machine that makes decisions, it's difficult. People can be frustrated if they don't have a central person to talk to about what's happening on this platform. That has been a big change. It's hard not to feel like you don't have any control over what happens.
Everyone has a stake in the discussion.
Because of their financial obligations, these companies have to push all of this stuff off of their platform. It is hard not to think that the internet will get more sanitized and less sexual as a result.
In other places, the internet seems to have made people more accepting, even though you describe a lot of early sex panic in a way that seems very similar to what we see now. Do you think there is a change in the way people talk about sex?
People are more aware of the law. The average person wouldn't know what you were talking about if you asked them about the Communications Decency Act. Lots of people have opinions about Section 230 and are reading it. The discussion is getting more heated because everyone has a stake in it. There are more people using the internet for their jobs or not. People are paying attention in a way that they haven't done in the past.
How did the internet change sex? The book shows people getting turned on to new things or exploring themselves in ways that wouldn't have been possible offline Is the internet making our sex lives more specific?
Having access to like-minded people can change the world. A lot of people thought they were the only people in the community before they found it. It has been fascinating to watch that grow up with the internet. Suddenly, you have a lot of people talking about what they are into and why they are into it.
I was surprised by the forums about how to suck. People were talking about how to do it and how to do it well. If you didn't have the internet, you wouldn't have access to that kind of information because you wouldn't say it out loud to anyone. You can trade advice about how to suck your own dick with people all over the world.
It was too offensive for the book.
Is the internet making it safe to express these desires?
It can be difficult to know. You can find new things you didn't know you were interested in. You may not know that you were into it all along.
I wrote a story about people who liked blueberrification. A lot of them were into this because they used to watch Charlie & the Chocolate Factory when they were kids and used to carry that with them for a long time. There are a lot of people who feel the same way as they do. That is a big change. It is more than just, "I found this thing I didn't know I was into," but also, "Now I can really express myself and buy a berry suit because I see other people doing it, too."
It makes you feel more normal. Less isolation is what it is. People have a lot of shame about their sexuality because of that. They feel like they are the only ones who want this. It can be revolutionary when you discover you are not the only one.
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